Hi! Disclaimer: I'm not a mum, I'm 21 and still at uni, but I enjoy reading posts on here and thought you would all be able to give me better advice than my friends (they just tell me to break up with him).
It's a bit long so I'll do it in bullet points!
Context
- I have been dating my bf for 6 months
- He told me that, before we got together, he had a crush on his friend, but she rejected him and now he didn't have feelings for her
- But after we dated for 2 months, they got drunk together, and he told her his list of most attractive people he knew (which included her), and she told him her list (which included him)
- He told me he was happy to know she liked him back, and when I was annoyed that he still cared, he said it was because he thought she was lying when she rejected him, and was happy to find out he was right
The Issue
- After she told him he was on her list, whenever we were drunk with his friends, he would find any excuse to touch her knee/hand/shoulder. He would even have his arm around me, but rub her shoulder with the back of his hand.
- One time he was sitting between us both and, instead of touching me, he was touching her knee and rubbing her back. My friends told me that when I left the room, he even had his hand on her inner thigh. At that point he'd done it on at least three nights, so I asked him to stop, and he apologised and said he'd never do it again.
- The next week, he did it again. This time his friend told me she was really uncomfortable, and that all his friends noticed and thought it was weird. I told him this, and he was really upset that everyone thought he was a "perv" (his words) and said he'd never do it again.
My Problem Now
- He hasn't touched her since then, but she keeps bringing it up in front of everyone, and he keeps bringing it up to me and trash talking her (eg saying she's ugly and a horrible person.) He also stares at her whenever she's around and makes weird comments like "oh yeah, I can't sit next to YOU, can I"
- It's been a few months since it happened and everything else is great, but I just don't trust him anymore, especially since we'll be long distance next year when I leave uni.
- I know it was only touching, he didn't kiss her or anything, but it still feels really disrespectful and like he would cheat on me if he thought he could get away with it. He said he only did it for validation, but also said that she "reopened the door" when she included him in her list, which makes me think he touched her because he thought she liked it.
AIBU to break up with him for this, even though it was months ago?
Thank you in advance for any advice!