Pissed grandparents

9 replies

Canteentina · 27/03/2024 20:08

My DPs are big drinkers. Over the years, Ive distanced myself from them because of this. They've consistently prioritised booze and I know they will not change now they are in their 70s.

On the surface, they are pillars of community, cricket club, on various boards etc, both had prestigious careers. But they can only socialise with booze, barely know their grandchildren as a result, and get pissed at every occasion and can't remember any of it.

My DD bday is next week. Have arranged a get together with family for a lunch. In laws and DPS both live an hour away. I deliberately didn't offer beds as it's a lunch thing and no energy in evenings. So my Dps have now booked a bloody Travelodge nearby so they can have a drink ... Aibu to be pissed off about this? Puts in-laws in an odd position, feel I should now offer them a bed/option to hotel too. Plus means hosting into eve which I'm just not up for right now.

Feel like a right bitch even typing this. I do love my parents but every time they do something like this it just stresses me out. Aibu??

OP posts:

Froggy99 · 27/03/2024 20:10

Why are your in-laws in an awkward position? Your DPs won’t be imposing on you so I don’t see an issue, especially if you keep your DD’s birthday meal booze free.

Minata · 27/03/2024 20:11

Tell them to leave after lunch. If they ask, tell them why.

GentleGentileschi · 27/03/2024 20:13

Yes why would you let them ruin your DD’s birthday with binge drinking. Nope nope nope. I would call ahead and say they are fine booze it up but not around your family events. Why did you even invite them knowing they aren’t even close to DD and are a liability?

Original poster

Canteentina · 27/03/2024 20:20

Re in-laws, I feel like my parents booking a hotel makes it a bigger thing that it is. I don't want inlaws arriving, and then thinking they should have booked a hotel too because it's a party party. So could mention it before, but not sure how to do that without making it sound like that's what we want them to do. (I'm awkward with Comms in case that isn't obvious!)

OP posts:

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/03/2024 20:23

Say to them “there’s no need to book a hotel, it’s just a lunch. We’ll be done by 3.” (or whatever it is). Don’t give the option of staying on.

Original poster

Canteentina · 27/03/2024 20:25

I invited them because they are my parents and its a family get together. I hoped the lunch plan / no invite to stay would make it clear. I never anticipated them booking a bloody hotel. They don't drink during day unless socialising, it's not like they can't physically go without booze for a few hours.

OP posts:

RawBloomers · 27/03/2024 20:36

Don't feel guilty about your in-laws, just don't change the nature of the celebration to be more what your parents want instead of what you'd planned.

Is the lunch at your house? If so, don't serve alcohol, claim to have nothing in if asked, maybe have a soft drink your DD will like to celebrate with. They will probably want to leave so they can go and have a drink with dinner but just in case, have something you are taking DD to in the evening so there is a finite end to the lunch. If at a restaurant, you just all leave and then your parents can make it as big a day as they like, just not with anyone else.

toomanyy · 27/03/2024 20:47

Can you be clear with parents that it’s no drinking and the party ends at 5pm
so they will need to leave and drink at their hotel?

Cherrysoup · 27/03/2024 20:51

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/03/2024 20:23

Say to them “there’s no need to book a hotel, it’s just a lunch. We’ll be done by 3.” (or whatever it is). Don’t give the option of staying on.

Yup, reiterate this and tell them you’re going somewhere in the evening (booked a pantomime/theatre trip for dd’s birthday etc)

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