DH has sympathy for ASD Nieves and nephews but makes no allowances for me…..

[ScottishScouser]

I’m undiagnosed but as I’m 48 it’s not unusual. However even by objective observations I have so many traits of Asperger’s it’s ridiculous and younger family members have been diagnosed. No children myself but nieces and nephews.

anyway. He always makes allowances for them because they are Asperger’s/autistic.

But when it comes to me he’s not…… examples

1. clothes - I hate high necks, anything with no give and long sleeves. He’s always pointing out clothes he likes and gets annoyed when I dismiss them without even trying.

1. i hate talking to people and prefer text messages or emails unless really good friends. He’s forever trying to force me out of my comfort zone making me talk to strangers and make phone calls.

they are really the main things but it really winds me up. Other things are not picking up social queues and butting in on people when I think they’ve finished talking but haven’t.

Since this is aibu and he makes you make phone calls I’m starting with ltb.

phone calls can fuck off. We hates them, the same as high necks and long sleeves (I like 3/4).

Maybe it’s worth looking at getting an assessment but in the meantime push back.

I hate the way my husband dresses but, he’s happy with it, so who am I to dictate what he wears? It doesn’t really matter why somethings make you uncomfortable they do and that’s that and he should respect that.

You'll get ripped apart for saying Aspergers by the Autism Police but just ignore it.

When he argues, remind him you're autistic. Every time.

Well I'm not autistic and I still wouldn't allow my husband to tell me what to wear or when to talk to people.

He's not your boss OP, and it sounds like you need to remind him of that.

We’re actually not that intolerant. I still remember when Asperger’s was a diagnosis

How do you know you are if you do not have a diagnosis?

Is this because Aspergers is not diagnosed anymore? My sons mental health team don't even say Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) now, they took away the word 'disorder' and renamed it something else. OP can say what she likes though. Edited as think I remembered what they call it! ASC. Autism Spectrum Condition. They wrote my son has ASC and I was thinking omg what is that 😱🤣

Autistic or not.. he can‘t dictate how you like to dress or make you do phone calls if they can be avoided by writing but do not expect him to take over your phone calls..many people don’t like phone calls!

Regarding the social skills.. keep trying but don’t put yourself down. I sometimes interrupt people when i‘m excited and my mind works fast and some people talk so slow i think they‘re done when they‘re just pausing. I‘m working on it, too, but it’s difficult for me.

Actually, a lot of us are. As well as people advocating on our behalf.

This isn't really about if you are autistic or not. He's pressuring you to do things you don't want to do that's not ok. And with it being clothing and social interaction that's just controlling.

I'm autistic also late diagnosed. I found saying you are autistic gets resistance but just saying you are not comfortable doing that is acceptable to people 🤷‍♀️

I’m not sure really what them two things have got to do with Autism? Isn’t DH just being a bit of a dick?

By that I mean, they are traits/preferences neurotypical people could have.