To have another child

[StarLight201]

I’ll try and keep this brief.

Happy relationship, 1 child who starts school in September.

Both work full time.

We were firmly one and done up to now. Different reasons such as the state of the world, not wanting to burden our parents who already help us with childcare, not wanting to lose any more freedom, money etc.

Recently all I can think about is having another one. The pros are another child to love and watch grow up. Watching our child become a sibling and enjoying that relationship. All the wonderful things that children bring. We have a spare bedroom albeit we’d have to clear it out.

Cons would be less money, less freedom. Worry about if we did have a new child, what if it was a multiple birth, additional needs etc. the original reasons for not having another one basically. also worry about the age gap and if it would essentially be 2 only children of sorts (I have a sibling 8 years younger than me and whilst we get on well, we never properly played together as such as we were always at different stages of life)

how on earth does anyone make these decisions! Would I be silly to potentially bring another life into this awful world, risk pressure on our family, when we are happy as we are and about to have no childcare costs/free time in the day for the first time in over 4 years.

It is a choice only you can make really. I see both sides of your arguements

People are happier with one child than they are two if that helps

www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20230110-only-child-or-siblings-one-and-done#:~:text=Other%20research%20has%20showed%20that,there%27s%20no%20boost%20at%20all.

All of this might be part of why research has showed that, while having one child is associated with a gain in happiness, having a second is associated with a drop in happiness for mothers. (That study found no effect of a second child on fathers). Other research has showed that while parents are happier in the lead-up and first year after having their first child, there are diminishing returns: the boost of happiness for the second child is half that of the first, and by the third, there's no boost at all. "Globally, happiness decreases with the number of children parents have," one analysis across 86 countries put it.

There's not a right answer but it sounds like you want a second. What do you want your family to look like. 5, 10 and 30 years from now? There's no guarantee on anything but if you see a second around the table then is the potential risk worth the rewards of what you envisage?

For what it's worth I stuck at 1 as I felt that a second would risk upsetting our family balance but I'll never know what could have been.

Thanks all :) found that article very interesting.