to think badly of my SIL for binge drinking while pg?

[Saveme]

Ok, first up, I have to say, I know I'm being a judgey little cow, I do know this, but I still think I'm right. I also know it's none of my business, but....

My SIL has just had a m/c, she was about 10 weeks I think. DH had a phone call from his brother worried that they had done something wrong - it turns out that whilst on holiday and knowing that she was pg they went out on the lash, basically got totally pissed up the pair of them. Not one or two restrained drinks but a proper session.

I feel sorry for them, but I also don't know how they could have been stupid. SIL told me that in her antenatal appts they "tell you" to have a drink. That's surely not right.

So, yes, I'm being judgemental and it's none of my business, but am I right to feel disappointed in them?

In that case everyone I know has a drink problem. Rubbish!

If they would answer yes to all the 4 questions then they probably do yes!

Or rather not that they definately have a drink problem but it's purpose is to ring alarm bells that someone might have a drink problem. Because these are all very well recognised and validated ways that people with drink problems behave. Of course doing these things once each at different times in your life wouldn't necessarily mean they have a drink problem. Its just a ways of identifying people with risk factors and is just one of many tools to identify those who might have a problem rather than people who definately do

Have to support you alicet - it is the most common questionnaire used by mental health and substance misuse services is screening for an alcohol problem. Very well validated. May be simple but is proven to be sensitive.

Thanks everyone.

DH and I are hopefully getting back together, we'd been together for a long time and I've known SIL for quite a while, which I guess is why I feel so invested in this.

I am worried for them though, esp if she gets pregnant again and carries on...

Just after a m/c isn't the right time to start mentioning she needs to put a cap on her drinking though.

Yes, exactly ding, they will be feeling shit enough already. Plus, knowing how sensitive she is will probably take it as an implication that the m/c was somehow her fault, which would not be the intention at all.

Perhaps she won't get pg again, perhaps her drinking isn't that bad, I thought it reduced your fertility so if she got pg she may not be that bad.