Neighbour wants to replace MY fence, I don’t want them to!

[Fencewoes]

We have recently had new neighbours move in next door. A month ago they said that they would like to replace all of the fences around their garden (sides and back) which includes replacing mine. They said they will pay for this as they want their garden to look uniform. At first I was on board with this, actually quite pleased at the thought of having a brand new fence as mine is quite old, however they have now said they will be replacing my current 4ft fence with a 6ft fence instead.

I have told them I do not want them to replace my fence with anything higher than 4 ft. They’ve now said that in that case, instead of replacing my fence, they will just build another fence against mine in their garden. So basically, I will retain my current fence, then there will be another in their garden, but I will have double fences on my side! Is this even allowed?

Maybe they want to get a dog and are trying to ensure it can’t jump a fence and end up in your garden. Maybe they just want privacy. It is not unreasonable to want 6 foot fences in your back garden, it’s standard. I would take the fence offer.

One person's "community feel" is another person's "lack of privacy" I guess. No-one is right or wrong, it's a difference of opinion, but they are in no way bullying you by wanting to make their garden private within the allowances of planning etc!

Yes they can do this

Yes it is annoying

Yes you are kinda being bullied

Yes it is correct that there is nothing you can do to prevent this

Your options are

1. Agree and have a new 6 foot fence , which will look ok but isn’t what you want, or
2. Object and have two fences next to each other, which will shrink the width of their garden and thus create bad feeling, also it will look shit and make it hard to get things which fall down / weeds that grow in between the fences

I topless sunbath. Maybe the women does too. 6ft fence or free range boobies 😂

Yes they can do that. One of our rear neighbours put a new fence behind a couple of our panels although it isn’t noticeable as it is the same height (6ft) and just in one corner. We also have plant and shrubs in front of it. The fencing next to that is closer to 8 ft as those rear neighbours raised up/levelled their garden. Fine by me. I don’t really want to see them pottering about or them us and 6ft on our side would be 4ft on theirs. 6ft is pretty standard. Lots of people want privacy or have pets they want to keep in. I would take the new fence. You aren’t being bullied. They can do what they want in their garden so you may as well choose the nicer option.

You’re suffering from we-were-here-first-itis.

They are legally and morally within their rights to do this, and it’s also totally reasonable to want privacy in your own garden. Who wants a “community feel” on their private property?! They’ve even been decent about the way they’ve gone about it all.

This is the new situation. Up to you whether you accept it or not.

4 foot fence sounds awful. I'd bite their arm off for a 6 foot one

Can't understand why anyone would want to have people able to look into their garden over a 4 foot fence, but horses for courses...

They're doing it anyway, have the free fence OP

A 4ft fence is not sufficient for both you and they to be able to use your/their garden in privacy.

I too would be suspicious that somebody insisting on only a 4ft fence to separate back gardens might be a nosey parker and/or one of these people who is constantly trying to talk over the fence to you when you just want to relax in peace in your own garden.

Unless you were very close, longstanding friends; or maybe lived next door to your parents and were always chatting and spending time together anyway, a 6ft fence would be standard.

They can put pretty much anything in their garden, subject to any laws surrounding maximum heights. They could erect a huge long wooden shed that spanned the length of the fence on one side, which would effectively be the same as a wooden fence from your pov.

Christ...I genuinely cannot think of anything worse than a 'community feel' garden arrangement

OP you are being ridiculous! Just agree to the bloody fence!

🤷🏼‍♀️
You’ll just have to put up with it.

If they are putting a 6 foot fence on the other side then you won't be able to see their other neighbours anyway.

I was just about to post exactly this!
'Community feel'?!?!? shudder

They want a six foot fence and they can erect one on their side of the border, leaving your four foot in place, which will look really strange. It's not bullying, they aren't forcing you to pay for a six foot fence that you don't want. It's two different requirements that's all, but seeing as legally yes they can do it I'd eat some humble pie and say yes please, thanks very much, that would be great.

We had long thin gardens at our last house with low fences, everyone got on and it was really sociable out the back, with people chatting two and three gardens at at a time, however a new owner changed to six foot plus trellis and it put a stop to that! Some of the longer standing residents were very upset, and as the adjacent houses got new owners they followed suit. Zero chatting over the fence.

Although it wasn't something I'd have thought necessary, and it was a bit weird at first, I actually am a fan of six foot fence plus a foot of trellis and I enjoyed the feeling of being less overlooked. Don't fall out with your next door neighbours over two foot of fence, would be my advice, because either way you're not going to be swapping pleasantries over it.

My parents live in a semi detached and have had the same neighbours for 40+ years, they share a 4ft wall between the properties and quite like standing for a chat with the elderly lady next door.

Mum says as soon as the elderly lady leaves, she intends to put up a 6ft fence.

The times now come for you op.

I'm stuck with a 3ft fence on one side of my garden due to my idiotic nosey neighbours. It drives me mad and the people (who rent) the house on the other side of them. Everyone else has put 6ft fences in but they insist on these tiny fences. Our gardens are small and the people who lived in our house previously planted 3 random conifers along the fence line so we can't even put a higher fence up without removing the trees first. I truly hate it the fact that we've got no privacy in our back garden and as soon as I go out there then you can guarantee one of the immediately appears to have a chat as they're lonely. I've no problem saying hello to them at the front but back gardens should be private in my eyes.
I've now planted numerous large shrubs and trees in between the conifers to block them out entirely. They moan about the leaves dropping off in winter and pedantically throw them and the branches they cut off over the fence but that doesn't bother me.

I can understand it’s going to be different to what you are used to, but I don’t see it as bullying you. 6ft is standard, they have their own reasons for putting in fences that high, which are their own business.
I’d go for the new single fence, rather than silently fuming at the old 4ft one and the new one towering above it every time I went in the garden. You’ll soon get used to it.

Whether it’s your preference or not they are going to have a 6’ fence in their garden. So it serves no purpose for you to keep your 4’ fence. It will be unsightly and the gap between will be a difficult to access trap for weeds and litter to gather. I’d grab the chance of a new fence at their expense. Most neighbours would suggest sharing the cost.

Also, you’re being forced to accept something you don’t want. When that person is doing the thing you don’t want, it’s not bullying. It’s quite a leap so suggest that the person not living their private life the way YOU want them to, is them bullying you. If anything, it’d be the other way round if you tried to prevent them or were unpleasant about it (not saying you are).

They’re just going about their lives, minding their own business, but aware they have neighbours and trying to do right by them. On no level does that equal bullying.

They are not trying to bully you, they (like me and many, many others) don't want people being able to see into their garden and want some privacy.

I would never use my garden if the only thing between my neighbours and myself were 4 foot panels, it'd be so awkward all the time. Just let them replace the fence as you originally agreed to, your garden will look neater not having a short fence then a tall one and you don't have to pay a penny.

Wish I lived next door to someone that offered me a new free fence!

I'm stuck with a 3ft fence on one side of my garden due to my idiotic nosey neighbours.

A 3ft fence isn't really a fence at all, practically speaking. it only suggests fence! It's the garden equivalent of jumpers for goalposts.

Not getting your own way isn’t the same thing as being bullied. Yes, you are going to have to suck it up.

As an aside, something I have never looked for in a garden, alongside ‘gaping pit that leads directly to hell’, is ‘a community feel’. Actually I’d say the former would be the more attractive proposition, just for the novelty factor tbh.

I prefer a 4 ft fence as I like to chat to neighbours. But, if they want a 6ft fence, they're entitled to do that

I live in a terrace of four houses, slightly oddly the road access is at the back and the fronts have gardens. The fences between the gardens are about three feet high and there's a footpath along the fronts of the houses, with gates, which the postie uses, as well as being access for the middle houses. We chat over the fences and pop in and out of each others gardens, it's lovely.

I know, it's the most pathetic thing, like the OP's new neighbours we offered to pay for a new 6ft fence when we moved in but according to them it was a genuinely offensive offer 🙄. I now just put my earphones in whenever I'm in the garden and ignore all attempts at conversation