Neighbour wants to replace MY fence, I don’t want them to!

[Fencewoes]

We have recently had new neighbours move in next door. A month ago they said that they would like to replace all of the fences around their garden (sides and back) which includes replacing mine. They said they will pay for this as they want their garden to look uniform. At first I was on board with this, actually quite pleased at the thought of having a brand new fence as mine is quite old, however they have now said they will be replacing my current 4ft fence with a 6ft fence instead.

I have told them I do not want them to replace my fence with anything higher than 4 ft. They’ve now said that in that case, instead of replacing my fence, they will just build another fence against mine in their garden. So basically, I will retain my current fence, then there will be another in their garden, but I will have double fences on my side! Is this even allowed?

But the fence is coming anyway! The boundary will be raised regardless 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes
But it’s perfectly acceptable if OP wants her own fence on at least one of her boundaries. It’s her boundary.
It’s fine for OP to disagree to something on her land. It’s not ok for neighbours to insist. Which it seems they haven’t and now alls good their fence will go on their side.

So the tittle/issue isn't "Neighbor wants to replace MY fence, I don’t want them to!" but actually "neighbors are building a taller fence and I don't like it ".

You were offered a new fence for free, and you chose to stick with your old one for an extra 2ft of viewing directing into their space (your prerogative of course). Now you're unhappy because they're just building the same size fence on their side and you still end up losing that extra 2ft of sightline but you're also stuck with the same old fence. I can understand you not being happy about it, but they aren't bullying and they're entitled to privacy in their own yard, they were polite enough to offer to upgrade the barrier between your spaces at no cost to you. You're entitled to refuse their offer obviously, but you're only entitled to say what happens on your own land.

Ultimately they can legally put up a 6ft fence in and around their yard and it's pretty standard in many parts of the UK. Personally I can't think of a reason why you'd want to start this relationship off with arguing over a fence that needs replacing anyway.

I completely understand you feel. I grew up in a street where everyone got along, all the kids played together and all the houses had 4ft fences. It really was a community. As time has gone by people have moved and new people have put up 6ft fences. My parents hated it at first and felt really closed in. They couldn’t see if anyone else was home and couldn’t have a chat over the wall and they actually felt like the neighbours must dislike them to want such a large fence essentially blocking them out.
It’s definitley a more modern thing. People don’t care if they know their neighbours anymore and definitely don’t want to chat in their gardens.

They couldn’t see if anyone else was home and couldn’t have a chat over the wall
Probably why the neighbours wanted the 6ft fence in the first place!

My parents hated it at first and felt really closed in. They couldn’t see if anyone else was home and couldn’t have a chat over the wall and they actually felt like the neighbours must dislike them to want such a large fence essentially blocking them out.

And this is why I’m with the neighbours, I don’t want anyone peering in to see if I’m home and trying to talk to me in my garden. Ten foot fences for the win! Leave me alone! 😂

you beat me to it!

Haha probably so. It’s definitely a different way of living now though. My parents loved all their neighbours and spent many summer days sat in the garden chatting. They were probably hoping to have the same friendship with new neighbours but as I said, people don’t care about neighbours these days.
We have a 6ft fence between us and our neighbours, it’s in great condition so won’t be replacing but when the time comes it’ll be 4ft or 5ft. We chat everyday over the fence and I love it would hate to have nothing to do with them.

Can I ask why though? Don’t you want to get to know your neighbours and have a chat? My mum would shout over the wall to next door and ask if she wanted a brew and they’d stand and chat while kids played. It’s building community and friendship.

That would be a nightmare for some.

You can build friendship and community in your front garden if you want to, or anywhere else you want to that isn’t your back garden or any other space you wish to be private.

nope. I get on very well with my neighbours, we take in each other's parcels, chat when we meet and so on but we don't have much (anything) in common. I think they think I am generally weird because I do lots of crafty stuff and live in my garden, don't take holidays and am perfectly happy to live alone (widowed). I don't want to chat or socialise with them and the feeling is politely mutual.

I was born in the 50's and my parents didn't want to chat over the back fence either!

No. I don’t particularly want to get the know the people who just happen to live near me. I don’t want to feel obliged to ‘socialise’ every time I stepped foot out of the house. Especially as I work bloody hard. I want my downtown to be my own. I want to be able to get on with things and play with my children I don’t want faces popping up over the fence.

As it is, I live in the middle of nowhere. Bloody blissful. 😂

You’re really not obligated but that’s your way and that’s fine.
we all work bloody hard and enjoy our downtime.
i just know the street I grew up on was a lovely community, low fences, lots of chatting and spending jubilees, bonfire night, summer holidays together and I still speak to them now and look out for them and their family like they do ours.
maybe it’s not a generation thing, maybe it’s a working class thing.

You aren't considering the affect on your neighbours on all things though are you, just the things the other posters on here think the opposite of

Completely off topic but I have just realised where your username comes from @Prunesqualler . It had been bugging me!

I’m really not sure what this post means, or what you think it means, or how you think you know anything about me beyond what I’ve posted here…and I’m not entirely sure why you’ve taken such an interest in trying to shout my pretty innocuous and completely and utterly inconsequential opinion down!

Anyway, I’m off now to help my neighbour in their garden, in return for them kindly giving me some free power tools. Kindness and thoughtfulness begets more kindness and thoughtfulness

yup it does but it doesn't rely on low fences.

Haha! No of course it doesn’t! I never for one second thought or said it did! Good gracious, this thread has turned the world tipsy turvy

It's odd how some posters (thankfully a minority) think privacy in the garden means no community spirit or friendliness with neighbours. We live in a village, houses and gardens completely detached. Nearest neighbours and ourselves will still put bins out/take them in for each other, talk regularly, exchange Christmas gifts, etc.... however we quite like going into our own gardens and not being stopped for a chat! I'll keep my 7ft fences and the neighbours not knowing my every move.

I bet.
I mean who would want a name like that🤣

Maybe your neighbours just value their privacy..its not bullying , they've given you choice personally as long as the fence is fairly traditional I'd just accept their offer and say thanks, is it worth falling out over?

Our neighbours years ago complained about us watering our garden as it went on their tomatoes. There was a low wire fence.
They also tutted when we sat outside for a drink.
We put up a 6ft fence.

See we had six ft fences and I still had friends round we went in and out of each others gardens but only when parents had gates open as an invite. Parents spoke in front gardens or over the phone or whatever. We didn’t need 4ft fences. In fact one of our fences was actually a 7ft council brick wall

I think we’ve established that it’s totally reasonable for a neighbour to want a 6ft fence out up…after 24 pages.

The OP is coming across as a rather awkward person to live next door to. Like someone as a kid I lived next door to back in the 90s..

As I said before, my dad was a dog handler and trained dogs for the prison and police service. He had to have 6ft fences to minimise the risk of the dog jumping at the neighbours, or even getting over the fence.