Feel like the least visible of the group

[Blusterydayslikethis]

Have a group of friends, we all meet fairly regularly, me less so as I have a chronic illness that flares up and I often miss events.
Met up at the weekend and everyone is lovely, but I really notice that a couple of people I don’t bond aswell with. For example, on leaving with one of my friends (the one I’m closest to) one other friend was hugging her for ages, saying they should catch up soon etc and I was just stood there, so ended up just walking off as I found it so awkward. If I say I’m going somewhere (with my kids) where this person has said they are (We do kid meets up the most) this person doesn’t acknowledge it or say we should meet up. We used to get on well, I’m thinking because I miss a few things (through no fault of my own) I’m just not part of things as much, just makes me feel low and like this person isn’t a great friend. I felt pretty o visible at our last meet up.

Nowadays OP, I match people's energy. So for instance, if stand offish friend is not making much of an effort with you and actually being quite rude in the process, I'd respond in the same way by being polite but distant. I wouldn't go out of my way to be friendly but equally I wouldn't be rude to her either! By all means invite the people you're closest to for smaller meet ups, why shouldn't you!? But don't do anything drastic by ' confronting ' her, it'll only backfire and become unpleasant for everyone.

@BerryMess Definitely wouldn’t confront, not that sort of person 🙈but yes to matching the energy, just a bit disappointing though

I have a very similar situation. It feels like you are forgotten about when your condition flares up. The group I am with always want to meet for long walks with the kids which due to my condition I can't now partake in. The person I am closest with I still get on really well with when I see her but I feel awkward with some other members of the group I know they literally wouldn't be bothered if I was there or not. I have also had the issue of some people getting hugs in front of me as they are closer and I stand there like a lemon, but to be honest I don't actually want a hug as well as I am not so close to this person so that would feel uncomfortable too. I does make me feel sad that I do not feel so included but unfortunately I think that is the nature of chronic illness. At times it has made me feel so lonely and I am not sure what the solution is.

@Shakeandstirred So sorry, I don’t think people really understand, I’m sure some people might think it’s unfair I don’t attend some parties or events etc, but I genuinely can’t plan for things and when I am well, I’m keen to meet up, even though it often means a drink and then I feel unwell for days afterwards, no one has any idea how hard it is. It just really annoyed me as it seemed v over the top and even my friend looked a bit uncomfortable