To want to end this friendship?

[Simplicitea237]

First time poster, be gentle!

I have a friend who I met on mat leave who has similar age child to me. Since we returned to work we have met up and I've come to realise we actually have very little in common other than our children. She constantly talks about her child and is v anxious about everything/moans alot and I find it quite draining as I prefer to have a more relaxed/optimistic approach to parenting and life in general! I love talking about the kids sometimes but find it really dull not to chat about anything else.

It's nice to see our children play together but I feel like she wants more from the friendship. I have started to pull away a bit but I feel awful doing that / lying about being busy etc. I also feel it would be horrible to be honest that I just don't really want to spend time with her due to having nothing in common esp as she is quite insecure/anxious as it is.

Welcome any tips on how to politely end friendships I guess too.

YANBU - life is too short for a superficial friendship just let it drift and she will get the message- not kind to mislead her
YABU- grow a pair and be honest/ keep the friendship going but just for occasional playdates so as not to hurt feelings

Do the children really like each other? If they do then if it was me I would probably continue with the occasional play date so that the children can see each other. You don’t have to be best friends and see each other all the time. However, if you are finding the meet-ups too difficult then just gently let the friendship fizzle out.

I would gradually dial it back. Stop initiating contact, only meet up occasionally. I met a range of people whilst on mat leave. Some became good friends, some were friends for a couple of years until school, moving away etc and others I just had a couple of coffees with and nothing came of it. It's fine for you to decide the friendship is not for you.

They get along but are still quite little and won't be going to the same nursery or school so I'm not overly concerned they will miss the playdates!

Thank you. I have had a few friendships fizzle out a bit in this way where it has felt more mutual. This is the first time I feel like it's more me pulling away as she is always trying to arrange meet ups and that's made me feel a bit mean, but I think you are right it's fine to step away and dial it down a bit

Next time she contacts you just say something along the lines of 'thanks for the invite, unfortunately things are a bit hectic this end, can we get together later in the summer?" You never know in better weather she might be more fun and spirited, it's been a nonexistent spring so far.