'Clean your own house'

[LovelyTheresa]

This is just something that bugs me about this site. Every time there is a thread about the etiquette of employing a housecleaner, whatever the question is, someone invariably says 'clean your own house'. Why is that? It is so utterly bizarre, nobody would say 'do your own plumbing' 'do your own plastering' or even 'do your own garden' so why is it seen as so odd to have a cleaner!? I have a cleaner, everyone I know has a cleaner. It is only on this site that that is seen as out of the ordinary.

It's women's work and therefore should be free.

I don't know anyone who has a cleaner.

Basically any stupid opinion you could dream of, someone on the internet will get behind. That said I see far more people on here recommending cleaners for problems that a cleaner can’t solve than I do people saying ‘clean your own house.’

Agree with the comment above. It's women's work and women who don't do their own cleaning are seen as shirking some kind of womanly obligation. No one ever comments on a man not doing enough housework.

I know people who would really benefit from a cleaner, but don't want one because they are quite private, feel it's 'too posh', know they'd spend all the time cleaning before the cleaner arrived, don't want someone in their house....

We have a cleaner, had cleaners for years. Very happy with that. My mum had a 'lady what did' when we were growing up.

I wouldn't hire a gardener though as I enjoy that!

People are weird about it though and seem to almost hide it if they have a cleaner or widen their eyes a bit when I say we have one.

You think it’s seen as odd on mumsnet to have a cleaner?! Are you kidding??

Its much more common for posters to be advising some person clearly on the bones of their arse to get a cleaner 🫠

And? I assure you that lots of people do. Do you resent people who can afford paid help?

I’m working class, childless, permanently wfh and have a cleaner. My mum is horrified.

The only person I know who had a cleaner was my DM when she had cancer. The rest of us do it ourselves.

However I did read the post you are talking about. I suspect that person is deliberately trying to wind people up for fun. Some people do that, especially when bored.

when I lived in my own flat my lodger paid 50% reduced rent on the basis that they would clean the flat once a week. they needed financial help, I hated cleaning. when I got married I wanted it written in the vows that I could always have a cleaner once a week. I dont smoke or drink and am not frivolous with money. I choose to spend £60 a week on a wonderful person who cleans my house exactly the way I want it done. Its only the same as paying to have your nails done, or your gym membership or whatever you want to spend your spare money on. It provides employment for someone locally and we are incredibly flexible, any day of the week any time whatever suits them best.

I would dearly love to have a cleaner and could easily afford to pay for one. The problem is that the house is so untidy that there isn't much opportunity for cleaning anything!🙃

I like the idea of my house being cleaned by someone other than me or my husband so we get some chill time on the weekend (between kids activities). I keep saying "next time I increase my hours" or "next promotion" but in reality we don't actually like having someone in the house or the idea of having to manage them. The kids pull their weight but obviously need overseeing.
I'm struggling to think of a suitable response other than "do your own cleaning then!"

Agree with this.
Having a cleaner seems fairly common on mumsnet, I've seen it advised countless times.
I don't have one personally but I know quite a few people who do.

Do you know anyone who is a cleaner? It's just a job and can be outsourced like any other task such as gardening or car maintenance. I had a cleaner for a couple of hours a week when I was working. I also know a retired teacher who does cleaning because she likes it. There's no shame either way.

No I don't care what you spend your money on. I'm just saying that in my world having a cleaner is not the norm. It's only on MN that I see having a cleaner is the normal thing to do.

"Everyone you know has a cleaner" is hyperbole. (I hate hyperbolic, sweeping statements.). I doubt your cleaner has one and you know them, or don't they count?

I haven't often seen that comment so are you posting just to pick a fight? Most people really don't care what others do.

I have a regular cleaner but it's not up to me to judge whether other do or don't. Just pay the person properly and treat them well. Simple.

Can you show me where I said there was shame in being a cleaner?

On Mumsnet it’s expected that you do have a cleaner. I only know a couple of people who have a cleaner, and they don’t have kids or work longer hours than the norm. I think it’s fine if that’s what you want to spend your money on. But at the same time people shouldn’t feel that everyone should have a cleaner, and feel like they’re living a life of poverty if they have to clean their own toilet.

I’d love a cleaner. In the past I’ve had a cleaner. Now I can’t afford one, so I don’t.

I do clean my home, but I like my cleaner to come once a fortnight to come and focus on deep cleans of the bathrooms and the kitchen.

A million reasons, some ideological.

It's a job. Paying for a service is not an act of evil. Thinking you are better than someone who does a service for you is different.

I’d love a cleaner but my kids would undo their hard work in such rapid form that I can’t bear to throw the money at it.

If I can afford one, I’d have one!

Purely anecdotal of course but some members of my family hold the view you should clean your own home, but they come from generations where families lived on one income and there was a lot more time for housework/taking pride in your home compared to now where often both partners are working and one income won’t stretch. They’re also quite proud and are of the view that asking for help/delegating housework is a sign that you’re struggling and they wouldn’t want others to know that. But that’s their own view of course.

I suppose some people hate cleaning and would gladly pay for someone else to take it off their hands, but for others cleaning is something they don’t mind doing/can find time for - so spending money on a cleaner is seen as a waste of cash. You get a lot of difference of view re how you spend your cash on here though. Some people think takeaways are a lovely treat and it’s great not to cook, but others think they can cook better than any takeaway and the money is a waste. Nobody is necessarily wrong, just have different priorities about how their income is spent.

It's just another form of judgement. See also:
"I don't understand why people have cleaners, why don't just clean their own houses"
"I don't understand why you don't have time to go to the gym, why don't you get a cleaner"
"I don't understand why people have children just to send them to nursery/childcare/have a nanny/boarding school"
"I don't understand people who don't put a hot dinner on the table every night"
"I don't understand how someone can let themselves go - if I put on a pound I diet until it's back off again"
"I don't understand how people say they don't have time to get their nails done/have a facial/do hobbies - you just have to make it a priority"
"I don't understand how people are untidy, you just put everything back where it lives"
"I don't understand why her kids are so badly behaved, I wouldn't let mine behave like that"