How to navigate this

[mapww]

I am 49 and in the trows of menopause. I don't know if this is connected, but I can't stand my DH anymore! Everything he says/does making me angry.
Only very recently I have started working FT (was PT for 9y previously), while DCs were little. We had DCs late, the youngest is still 10yo.
Since I started FT (physically demanding job, on feet all day), I am expecting to share workload at home with DH, but he's having none of it! Only yesterday he asked to bring his plate to him to the TV room, as he was watching something, AFTER I HAVE COOKED A MEAL FROM SCRATCH (with the help of 1 of the DC). DH says he is tired after work and will not do anything at home. Big arguments happen, if I tell him to get washing out of a dryer or similar.
I am absolutely fed up with arguments every single day.
After I refused to bring his plate of food to him yesterday, he had to do it himself eventually, and this morning I found his dirty plate next to a sink. Another argument ensued, where I was called lazy! 😠 I just want to kick the * out and stop being his servant! He doesn't understand why I am 'so angry all the time' and said I should go see a GP for HRT! I am more than happy for him to disappear from my life! Been married and together for 20y.
I don't want to clean and cook for him anymore and quite happily live on my own + DCs, of course!
Is this my menopause talking or my DH is a horrible man?

Your H is a misogynistic prick.

You both work full time, but you also have to do all the childcare, cooking and housework?

If you divorce him, your life will get easier and his will become massively more difficult; start getting your ducks in a row and prepare to leave him and in the meantime, stop cooking for him and cleaning up after him.

Your hormones are not the problem! The problem is that you're living with a selfish pig.

It's not the menopause, he's being a pantomime dick

Well it’s not your hormones or anything else you related. He’s an asshole. A lazy, misogynistic, pig of an asshole.

you are not his mother, maid, chef or otherwise. I’m angry on your behalf.

Your DP is a lazy, selfish, misogynistic prick which is only just dawning on you now you're working FT.

The menopause is just coincidentally timed, or is perhaps giving you the confidence to envisage a future without him.

You say you don't want this life anymore and would happily live alone. How quickly can you start to make that happen?

What on earth does the menopause have to do with this? By even mentioning menopause you are giving him free rein to make out that you are an unreasonable banshee-it's practically Victorian. What next? You're crazy? You're unstable? You need to see a psychiatrist?

All so he doesn't have to do some domestic tasks! This is such a slippery slope OP - don't let him create this narrative.

First things first: GO ON STRIKE.

What the fuck does he think you are? Some kind of domestic appliance?

Stop doing anything (and everything) for him. From now on he sorts his own food, clothes, shopping, washing etc., and you only do for yourself and any deserving DCs. If he leaves dirty plates around. Do not clear them up. Put them in his car or wherever is "his space".

Keep your stuff in a wash-bag so there is no soap, shampoo, etc for him unless he gets it.

When he complains, tell him to hush-up because you're tired.

What an arsehole.