To ask for advice on how to deal with 5 year olds behaviour?

[lionlass]

I have a 5 year old ds and a 9 month old ds. Whenever I’m home alone with both of them and I’m trying to get the 9 month old down for a nap, my 5yo deliberately tries to wake him up. I’ve tried asking him to stay in another room, giving him a snack, putting the tv on and even bringing him into the same room with us and giving him my phone to watch at a low volume. Nothing works. He constantly wakes him by trying to touch him, making loud noises and even hits him. It starts with me whispering to him asking him to stop, to be quiet or to leave the room but inevitably ends with me losing my patience and shouting. He doesn’t seem to care that I’m shouting and just laughs.

I’m at my wits end and always feel bad that I’ve snapped at him. Does anyone have any ideas on how to handle it?

@NuffSaidSam we do stuff like this too, well said

'If you're nice and quiet, you can have xyz once the baby is alseep. If you wake the baby, you won't be doing it.'

Stick to this. If your child wakes the baby then calmly but firmly remind them of the expectation and remind them that they wont be getting the fun thing. They may scream and cry, but let them. Then try again the next time. Your 5 year old needs to learn that when they do x, you do y. They will get the hang of the system quickly.

You can do lots of lovely bonding, inclusive activities throughout the day, and going forwards, but this needs to be knocked on the head now as a priority. I firmly believe that everything falls into place and everyone is happier when children know that they don't rule the roost.

I find it quite alarming that a 5 year old would hit a baby and I would come down very hard on this.

Is the noise also deliberate? My eldest is 6 and has a hard time remembering to be quiet when he needs to be, so I would make sure he was well out of the way when I'm getting the baby to sleep. I'd sit him down and talk to him about it when calm, explain that everyone needs sleep and we will get ill without it, and babies need lots and lots of sleep and we need to help them with that. How does he think he can help and be a good big brother? Ask him if there is a fun thing you can do together when the baby sleeps. Like a game or toy that's not practical with a 9 month old. Then remind him of the conversation a little bit before each nap and remind him of expectations and get his agreement that he will be good, and remind him of a fun thing you will do when the baby is asleep.

My son really likes getting the popcorn maker out when his brother sleeps as he knows I won't make it when the little one is around due to choking concerns for small kids.