Son FaceTime dad

[blacksocks33]

Son who is 7 is off school poorly.
I informed my EH, he asked to FaceTime him (probably checking up on him 🙄.
Son was in bed so I held the phone up for him.
EH snapped... "he's old enough to hold the phone himself, just give him the phone" etc.
I never thought any more of holding the phone. He was tucked under his quilt and tbh I'd rather hold the phone to avoid DS wandering around my place with FaceTime on and EH seeing the i side of my place etc.
Just took me back abit.... is this an actual issue?!

No, this isn’t an actual issue. Without sounding too harsh you two sound very petty and ‘tit for tat’ with each other. EH shouldn’t have snapped at you like that in front of your son (although he probably just wanted some privacy to speak to your son without you listening in maybe?) and you don’t need to feel so offended by such a non issue. Just shrug it off.

Kindly, it sounds as if your ExH doesn't want you on the call with him and his son.

Why did you inform him?

Just with him being off school, I always give the heads up! Just because I expect that in return.

Oh ok it would never occur to me to let my ex know every time the children were off school.

I can see why he’d want a private chat. Would you not find it a little uncomfortable if your ex is always in your calls with your ds?

The eyeroll at him wanting to check on his son is telling...

He's right, he is old enough to hold the phone
He probably just wanted some privacy with him
No biggy

He never ever calls them and talking to my son on the phone is like talking to a brick wall so if I rang them when they were with him I would expect him to be in the background to encourage him (he always is). Wouldn't really bother me.

Telling in what way?

He was a bit snappy but perhaps had a point.

Surprised @CatCatCatCatCatCat thinks you odd for telling your exh your son was off. My exh and I also extend this courtesy to each other, without fail.

But if he wanted you to facilitate the conversation over the phone he'd have told you...

How often does he see him and how often does he call him?

Sounds a bit possessive and controlling.

@Trystand on the rare occasion he calls and when I call them when they are there the other parent normally engages.
If he wanted to change that he could just say before I called or say it in a pleasant way instead of being snappy and condescending in front on my son who didn't want to call him anyway.

@Trystand I mean you couldn't be more wrong and it's interesting how you would make such an observation from one emoji and no back story... but hey! If that's how you judge, judge away!

Well he is 7 & he can hold a phone himself.
If he was tucked up in bed then he wouldn't have been wandering around your place would he?

Maybe your EH wanted to check he was okay? You probably would do the same if the roles were reversed.

I'm a separated parent and we both FaceTime when child is off school just to check they're okay and see them & chat to them - I don't see why you think he's "checking up on him"

He might have been a bit abrupt in how he said it but I think it's a non issue and you're over thinking it.

I have no problem him FaceTiming him when he's off whatsoever. Or if he wanted to FaceTime him in general it also wouldn't bother me.
It also doesn't bother me as such to not be in the room - I've already explained why I support those calls and he does the exact same thing when I call them in his care.
But I don't think it's nice to snap at me like that when I'm not doing anything wrong. My Aibu isn't about him calling him... it's about that. Why is that even a reasonable way to talk to someone??

There's obviously a back story here and I don't want to air it here.

I don't think you were being unreasonable. I also inform ex whenever the children are unwell. Don't forget, both parents will be fined if the dc attendance drops below a certain percentage.

If your child doesn't want to talk using facetime and your ex is being rude for facilitating it for him. Then stop. You don't need to facilitate it. Let your child rest and recover in peace.

My ex also likes to make issues of none issues. If/ when your child feels better, then have a conversation first with your child and then inform the other parent.