Difficult sibling. Can't take anymore.

[Endofteatherreached]

My elder sibling has made my life miserable off and on since I can remember. We are in the process of selling the family smallholding as both my parents have passed away. Sibling is angry that the house and grounds have to be sold (won't go into details but the will means it has to be sold). The endless comments making me out to be the bad one is really too much. Sibling is dragging their heels with the estate agents etc and trying to prolong things. We are both executors so I can't walk away. I can't take the stress. AIBU to expect some cooperation. Sorry if this is garbled nonsense but I'm on the edge of a breakdown over it.

Well the end of the time you have to put up with the vileness of sibling is near.

Grey rock. Keep repeating "we have to. It's in the will." Ignore all remarks suggesting it's your fault.

Remember you will get through this.

Keep going . Each day brings you closer to finalising. Sorry you are in this situation OP.
The vileness is their problem. You are only doing parent's wishes bless you.

Talk to a solicitor. Under some circumstances you can ask a solicitor to act on your behalf - legally you're still the executor but you're not doing the legwork. Yes it will cost if you have them act, but it will remove you from your sister's views.

Well you kind of don’t have to keep in contact after this. I do understand people not wanting to sell their parents’ home, a neighbour of ours went through the same as she was bereft her mums home would be someone else’s while her brother didn’t want them to have to upkeep it and neither wanted to live in it so he couldn’t see her point but she couldn’t see hers. I found it so sad.

Wills and solicitors and house sales are already so stressful that it really puts pressure on family relationships. Will you get to keep any of the money? I know it's no consolation when someone has died but it is a consolation in this situation of having a rubbish time with your sibling. Keep your mind on the light at the end of the tunnel and how much less stress you'll have when this is over.

Thank you. I'm worried the estate agent will get pissed off.

Yes we will inherit a sizable chunk each.

Had the same scenario with my brother, just hang in there until a sale is agreed and completion day is set. Then you don't have to bother with them any more unless you want too. I'm not no contact now, but not far off. He's the same, suits me fine.

You don’t get on which is fine. But selling a family home is difficult to come to terms with, it might be that you have made your peace with that more easily than they have? Have they been dreaming of a miracle solution where the family home can be kept-and need a little more time to accept that that won’t happen?

Just keep persevering, the end is in sight. The estate agent will have seen this before so try not to worry about it too much - they only get paid when the sale happens, so it will take a fair amount to put them off! Don’t worry about that.

Keep the minimum amount of contact with your sibling- if they are finding it difficult- can you offer to deal with the estate agent and just tell them when something happens that they need to know about, like an offer?

They are questioning everything. Wants the price to be above what 2 estate agents said. It's exhausting

Ah yes this one, I had that! Get it on the market at whatever ridiculous price they want, wait for the feed back and then reduce it. Even my brother came round eventually and over a year later the house sold for £500k less than he'd originally agreed to put it on at. Which was the price it should have gone on for in the first place!!