I have sought help over the years from doctors and had counselling. I can function well day to day so life looks fine from the outside usually. But nothing seems to fix this. It is horrendous around my parents, where I feel the anxiety stems from, not sure why. Ive never had proper trust with them. Though we are generally close.
I constantly feel people are talking about me. That I’m being judged. That people are critical. That I will be reported to social services if I leave a bin bag outside for a few mins before putting in bin etc. Really extreme thoughts.
I always think my family are talking behind my back. I assume my parents talk badly when I leave their house. I look out for any strange look or glance from other people. I sometimes worry about losing my job and have been known now and then to ask colleagues questions about my work which I can tell they find strange and they reassure me it’s fine.
But work is a lesser issue. It’s more my general life I can’t cope with. I do trust my friends but in times of severe anxiety I have been known to temporarily withdraw from them (not to the extent that they would notice). I feel sick a lot of the time. I am always nervous. I worry I am being talked about all the time. I hate it. I have sought help for many years but nothing changes. I’m 35, in a good job, have a nice home, no partner but one dc. I don’t have anything to be ashamed of really, but I am constantly thinking everyone is talking about me. Even last week I went to the doctors about something unrelated and thought they were going to tell my mum (!!) I had to rationalise that they have to abide by confidentiality but it just shows how extreme these thoughts can be.
any help would be wonderful as I am at my wits end