AIBU to request my DD is in a different class when she moves up to reception?

[MintMat]

My DD is currently in a school nursery and will be moving up to reception in September. She has gone to a previous nursery with a girl that lives around the corner and now they are at this nursery together. My DS and the girls sister are currently in reception together. The family are quite clingy and recently got really funny with me when my DD got invited to a party that the girl isn't get invited to. Tonight at pick up the dad approached me and was asking about the party in earshot of the boys mum who's party it was, then the girls sister said to my DD that she wasn't invited to a party tomorrow that the girl is going to with another friend so they don't care that she went to a party that they weren't invited too. It is so awkward and we don't want my DD to be having this until year 6 where her every move is watched and commented on. AIBU to request they are in a different class to break the cycle??

You can ask (and be instantly labelled as 'that' parent) but don't be upset if it doesn't happen. The problem is unlikely to remain as it is for 7 years.

I think you can request it, but not get cross if they can’t do it. And make the request like “if this isn’t possible I completely understand, but if it is possible to put my child and child x in different classes it would be much appreciated”. Especially as it’s possible the other family may actually ask if they can be in the same class, if she is clingy?

We are asked after they are offered a space any children they would like to be with or not be with and then also a preference to the class and teacher, I'm not sure whether to not get involved and then regret or get involved and regret it 😅

Since they’ve actually asked you, just say you’d rather not with child x. You’re not “getting involved” and I can’t see anything to regret there - you can’t see what else might be in the future but seems reasonable to respond to their request honestly.

I think you need to explain to the Teacher your reasons .It is unfair on your little girl to have this level of behaviour .If it carries on to yr 6 it will become unbearable

I’m a teacher who splits Nursery into classes for Reception and I definitely wouldn’t think anything negatively about a parent requesting this. I would perhaps say something along the lines of, my child and —— child have been together since they started Nursery and I think it would be beneficial for my daughter to develop a wider social circle. The school staff are probably aware of the way the other are and will completely understand!

I asked, and am grateful every day that I did.

Do it. From bitter experience with a little friend of DDs and her weird family, do it.

The school has asked the question, in what way could you be unreasonable to express a preference

They aren't asking out of politemess

Teacher here - I wouldn't think negatively at all of a parent who requested this, I say go for it!

I would do it but I also think these sorts of people are unlikely to be deterred by this and you might have to be quite firm with them about not having this sort of thing become your problem.

They sound like a nightmare family and no doubt they will soon latch onto some other poor sods.

Oh gosh that whole story was something and nothing.

Lots of kids get jealous about parties etc, so even if she does end up in another class, it's unlikely to stop these fairly insignificant things from happening.

Plus September is 6 months away, which is a long time when it comes to children.

She'd be better off learning to brush this sort of thing off, just like her peers will be learning to do too.

Definitely ask them to be separated, your dd is not a companion piece.

Thank You to everyone who has given advice and guidance, it is much appreciated and has made things very clear in my head.

I know I am really worried as I can see what the future will be like x

Thank You, this is how I feel exactly x

Absolutely ask - Teachers 100% get it

My DD has been invited to some parties and not others, she isn't upset about that at all and I don't think even notices, that's not what I'm concerned about, it's the behaviour of the other girl and the family that I don't want my DD wrapped up in. I know that there will always be these kids and families etc but they live near us and have been extremely full on for the last few years. Hence me wanting to put a stop to it before it becomes a real problem. I hope I explained that a little better as maybe my initial post wasn't clear :o)

Thank You, I really like how you have put this and really appreciate your point of view

Thank You, I get the picture you understand what I'm going through!

They are, it's been really awkward and uncomfortable at times so I really want to put an end to it before it gets worse

Definitely ask the school to seperate them (you can bet the other girl’s
family will be asking thet they be together!)

But. The problem in your anecdote is the behaviour of the Dad and the older sister. I would be tackling the problem there. I’d tell the Dad that he made you feel uncomfortable asking about someone else’s party, the guest list of which is nothing to do with you, and that you also were really disappointed to see the big sister being mean to your preschool age child about it.

Yes you're right on the money, it's the family as a whole and the way they act that I'm (for want of a better phrase) trying to keep my DD away from. I can just see the future and what they will be like ongoing. You're right I need to tackle the dad too.