To talk to dd10 about emotional/boredom eating?

[Feckinlego]

How do I broach this? She is overweight. She has a terrible diet. I do all the right things, offer healthy choices alongside safe food, she fills up on pasta rice etc and ignores the veg etc. When she looks for a snack she picks the carb heavy things, toast/crackers etc, then wants another snack. She has low self esteem issues and is already very conscious of her weight, so I don't want to shame her. Her older brother is very thin and try as I might not to, I do treat them differently. She's had therapy after being bullied and the therapist has said she is displaying signs of trauma and is ripe for an eating disorder when older.
I definitely think I have some fat phobia myself which I'm working hard to change. I've been reading about intuitive eating which I'm trying to get on board with but I can't fully buy into.
I'm sorry this wasn't meant to be so long but any advice appreciated.

Following as I have an emotional eater of similar age. I had a thread on here a while back and everyone said up the protein. It's not a magic cure but it has helped, that Dc doesn't feel so hungry after carby food

Something to look at is that you've said above you want to tackle the "physical and emotional problems that come with being overweight"

I'm working on my own fucked up attitude to weight and this jumped out at me: you / she will only have emotional problems with being overweight if you've been conditioned to believe that your worth is related to your shape / size / looks.

There are many many people in this world who are overweight and have zero emotional issues as they aren't bothered about what they look like or what the scales say. The know they're good people and that gives them pride / self esteem.

I am trying to work on this being my goal rather than trying to lose weight. I have disordered eating so can't safely use any 'normal' methods to lose weight so need to lose the emotional pain instead

What time is she eating?

I remember tea being on the table as soon as I got home from school, and being too tired/needing to decompress before I had a meal. I’d be okay with a sandwich or toast or picking pasta but not a big meal.

Would she eat something less carb heavy? An omelette with salad, or chilli served on rice? Something where it’s not easy to just pick the carbs and leave the rest.

As the adult, you do not have to facilitate/allow endless unhealthy snacks.

Provide healthy meals. Swap white pasta and rice for brown. Try offering alternatives - a curry with blitzed cauliflower. At 10 i wouldn't allow unlimited self service of any thing she likes at a meal time - serve a portion of the carb & protein element, then have central dishes of veg with plenty of choice and let her have as much of those as she wants. Include root vegetables as well green leafy/cruciferous - beetroot, swede, carrot, turnip are all good. Find some fish based meals - prawns are great for being tasty/palatable for kids but have lower calorie content.

Simply dont allow snacking, or limit it to fruit, veg & hummous

Up the exercise. Riding a bike or scooter, go for walks as a family.