To want to go on long term sick leave or make myself unemployed?

[Tellmeifimwrong]

For context: I'm a lone parent to 2 dc with some (mild) additional needs. Ex is abusive and now refuses to see dc as a way to continue control over me. I've also left my own family behind as I had a difficult childhood and needed to start afresh. So I'm basically quite alone and quite burned out. And I work full time (term time only).

Current situation: been signed off work for the first time ever after a virus over Christmas left me with quite severe long covid type symptoms. I've now been off work for 2 weeks, I have one more week off then Easter hols then I'm back to work. While I'm feeling physically slightly better (although still shattered most days) the benefits to my mental and emotional wellbeing have been unimaginable. I didn't realise how stressed I was before, I can't believe how relaxed I am now. My relationship with my dc has improved immeasurably in just 2 weeks. My sleep, my diet, my happiness have all improved. I feel fucking fantastic and I don't want to lose it.

But of course I have to go back to work at some point. I'm dreading it already. I've looked at jobs that are wfh but there's nothing I'm qualified to do that would maintain my current salary (which isn't high, but I certainly can't go any lower). Changing jobs would also mean working through the holidays. I'm desperate to stay at home and not return to the manic rat race of getting everyone up and out in the mornings and rushing into work and getting everything done in the evening and getting to bed on time and getting up at 6am and doing it all again.

Please help! I need a brainwave as to how I can maintain this lovely zen feeling I have, and not get ill or burned out again!

I get it OP. I'm fortunate in that I can work part time, term time only. Going so part time has immensely improved my mental health and I feel I have the best of both worlds really. Obviously not the pay, but the quality of life is so good.

Thank you @Willmafrockfit you're right that work does bring a sense of purpose and value but actually what I'm remembering is so does parenting your dc really well! I think my parenting (and therefore my kids) was suffering when I was so stressed and busy.

@MalbecandToast please dont tell people to "get a grip", i am tempted to report your post

@Tellmeifimwrong
but you dont want less money so tricky.
can you take a worthwhile lunch break, do something for yourself, once you are back at work

If you can’t get out of school work altogether- would a change to a different school help? I’m moving jobs at the moment as I figure a change is as good as a rest. It might not work. I might be moving somewhere worse but I know I can’t continue where I am. I think when you’ve been somewhere a while and have showed willing you end up doing far more than you should be doing. I’m going to start my new role in the summer and work hard on boundary setting.

As you are also having therapy (which is emotionally very draining and exhausting as well) I would suggest you ask your doctor if you can be signed onto reduced hours and work 4 days a week instead of 5?

Gosh there are some really horrid people on this thread. The OPs title wasn't entirely serious, it's just how she feels right now, and who can blame her?!

OP, if you are suffering from long COVID or post viral fatigue it can take months or years to recover and you may never fully recover. It is classed as a disability and so your employer must make reasonable adjustments. These aren't huge but can help eg WFH one day a week, attending only certain meetings, a quieter office space. I know these may be impossible but you and your employer can discuss what may help. You could also get referred to the long COVID clinic to help manage your fatigue. Try to pace yourself, take regular 5 minute breaks where you try to fully relax. Rest more than usual etc. It's really hard to do but will help you get through life and through work. Then in the summer you can decide what to do long term. Good luck.

Thank you for all the lovely supportive replies! Yes obviously I'm not going to make myself unemployed, I'm a single parent so can't ever actually do that.
@OurChristmasMiracle can a doctor/therapist support a request for reduced hours? Didn't know that

Have pm you @Tellmeifimwrong

I have to get up 30 mins before I can shower because ancient immersion boiler needs switching on!

I mean, you can fix that bit with a common or garden timer plug, cost £5.

Ah yes I've been intending to buy a timer plug for about 2 years, have been too busy/overwhelmed to remember to do it so thanks for the reminder @DreadPirateRobots !

Yes they absolutely can and will especially in circumstances such as yours. I have been previously when I first returned to work after a series of multiple traumas.

You want what everyone wants, money in their bank at the end of the week / month but not having to work for it.

life just doesn’t work like that

you say you can’t go any lower salary wise so I’m afraid it’s back to work.

It does for some :/ I'm not surprised op is jealous. I'm not working rn as being supported by my dp so I can raise my children, I was finding work too stressful but I have the option to take a break. Poor op, like many others, does not. I'm sorry you're going through this op. Have you considered being a childminder so you can spend more time with your children?