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AIBU?

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To think my DM treats me like an useless teenager

2 replies

PurpleSky300 · 24/03/2024 22:17

Sometimes I find my DM so frustrating, she treats me like a foolish child and I’m 31!

She’s so critical all the time and it’s so demeaning , she doesn’t treat me like an adult. We could be talking about the weather or something completely mundane and she’ll turn it into some story that will make me feel stupid. A random, boring selection of recent examples:

“I’m buying some new bookshelves” – she said “Oh, that’s because you collect clutter and you’re untidy and you’ll just be spreading clutter to different areas”.

“I’ve decided to landscape part of the garden” – “Well why, who’s going to keep it up, you’ve never been good at gardening” blah blah

“I’m babysitting for X on Friday” – “Good luck with that, dealing with screaming kids, you’ll be desperate to come home within an hour”

“I’m planning a holiday to xxx” – “Why would you want to go there, you don’t like sunbathing, why don’t you go to XYZ instead”

She’s like this all the damn time, like I’m an incompetent teenager who can’t be trusted to make a sensible decision about anything to save my life. And she’s bizarrely stubborn, she has to be right.

Another daft example – if we’re out and I say something like, “Oh I just need to go to Tesco for cat food” or whatever, she’ll swear blind that the shop doesn’t sell whatever I need and if I still go in, she’ll say “You’re UNBELIEVABLE” and rant and rave as I quietly find it and pay for it. It’s mad. It’s driving me out of my mind.

OP posts:
sunights · 24/03/2024 23:25

Reverse and correct everything she says.

As she is just repeating (as in projecting) her own inner voice onto you.

Also look up grey rock communication techniques.

Or just stop seeing her unless she stops critiquing you - as unless she does this to everyone all of the time she is capable of controlling it but choosing not to with you - ultimately because you are letting her get away with it...

MintyCedric · 24/03/2024 23:27

Mine’s like this too…I’m 48.

I know it’s hard but grey rock and let it all wash over you. Also only tell her stuff on a need to know basis…gives her less to work with.

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