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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to ask this in the gym?

17 replies

AliceToTheWitchElm · 24/03/2024 20:21

I go to a gym in a really dodgy area, a lot of crime and poverty, notorious for it really.

It's predominantly male centred, an old school weights and weights machines gym. There's a small car park but it is awkward to navigate and often full. Sometimes I'll park on the street,just a little away from the gym but you can see my car from the door to the gym.

About 120 yards away I'd say.

I was parked there the other night. Only me and two men in the gym by the time I wanted to leave. I'm friendly with the owner and some of his friends, and I train with a (male) friend sometimes but this time it was just these two men and I don't know them.

They're familiar faces to me, usually in there but I've never spoken to them before.

As I was leaving I asked them if one of them would mind just standing at the doorway as I got to my car.

One said yes of course and came with me as I walked out, I thanked him of course, and then again once I got in my car, whole thing took less than a minute, he seemed quite happy to do that for me. If I've managed to get a parking space in the car park I'd not ask, it is just when I'm that bit further away, I do not feel it's safe.

Do men generally mind doing things like this? Would you (if youre a man!) Or your DH/DP mind? I feel a bit as if I might have behaved a bit weird or he thought I was being OTT even though he did seem quite happy to do it.

OP posts:
FlickFlackTrap · 24/03/2024 20:25

If they don’t understand why you’re asking/think you’re OTT they aren’t paying attention.
No decent man would mind doing this in my opinion.

AliceToTheWitchElm · 24/03/2024 20:45

Thank you @FlickFlackTrap . That was kind of my thinking, a decent man would be happy to. I just wondered what others might think, I'm not that man's responsibility am I!? It is just not somewhere I feel safe when it's dark especially.

OP posts:
Offthepath · 24/03/2024 20:49

It's fine. Actually it's probably quite flattering for him to be asked (all that hard work in the gym is paying off).

rwalker · 24/03/2024 20:54

I can’t imagine anyone having a problem with this

dudsville · 24/03/2024 20:57

Good people will understand how women are at risk and therefore be glad to help in that circumstance.

C1N1C · 24/03/2024 21:00

As a man, I'd be more than happy to. It's my good deed for the day :)

You wouldn't exactly be putting anyone out. A minute in the gym is a rest between sets, a few sips of water, a bit of stretching. I'd be surprised if someone actually felt put out by that!

Autienotnaughtie · 24/03/2024 21:12

I can't see the issue if you were attacked he could either rush to help or ring 999 (ideally both) men should support and help keep women safe.

WhoaJayShettybambalam · 24/03/2024 21:16

I don’t think being male comes into it. If I felt unsafe I would ask whoever is there and if I was asked to be the person watching someone getting to their car safely I would watch despite not owning a penis.

Gcsunnyside23 · 24/03/2024 21:18

I think any decent person would be glad to help someone feel safe

Axx · 24/03/2024 21:19

DH would walk you to your car.

No decent person would mind being asked. I'm wondering where your gym is though?!

Louise295 · 24/03/2024 21:19

I know for a fact my husband would do this for someone if they asked and he wouldn't think twice or think it was weird.

Cloudful · 24/03/2024 21:22

Both DH and DS would be happy to do this and would understand the reasons why. I used to walk down to my car through a deserted town late at night with a colleague. When he wasn’t working late, he’d give me the heads up so I could move my car in daylight hours. It’s an unfortunate necessity.

theeyeofdoe · 24/03/2024 21:24

I'd choose a nicer area for my gym

Forestcantrun · 24/03/2024 21:28

I used go to a similar type gym and on the rare occasion a random would come in off the street, at least one of the regulars in there would be over at the machine next to me in a blink. I never ever saw another female in there and I always thought it was very gentlemanly and lovely.

I have in the past asked security to come to my car with me when I got caught late in work at night (think leaving at midnight rather than 9pm) and male or female they have always kindly obliged.

AliceToTheWitchElm · 24/03/2024 21:32

@WhoaJayShettybambalam that's true, It's just I've only seen one other woman in there, once, so I just doubt I'd ever ask a woman 'cause there just wouldn't be one.
Thank you-I feel a bit more like I can do this now. Of course I wish I never even thought/felt I had to!
Good to get a male perspective @C1N1C . I guess because I am just nothing to do with that man am I. There's the perspective that I shouldn't be somewhere without making sure I was safe without having to bug anyone else. @theeyeofdoe I just really love this gym in particular but I take your point.

@Axx It's in West Yorkshire, in a town near me but I don't live there. It's been in the news over the past few years for quite a few things. 3 syllables does that help

OP posts:
AliceToTheWitchElm · 24/03/2024 21:37

@Forestcantrun that is lovely.
This gym isn't 'manned' so to speak either so no staff/security, It's ran on an honesty basis, members get a key. I only go at times when I know there's going to be a few familiar faces in, unless I can get there during the day.

OP posts:
NC03 · 24/03/2024 21:44

It's fine

Same with if I'm dropping a friend off home, I always wait until they're in the door and I've asked taxi drivers to do it for me before and they've always been happy to

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