To be thinking of paying for private doctors

[TiredAllTheTimeMum]

I do suffer badly with anxiety, OCD and recently diagnosed fibromyalgia though I feel this is a cop out. I've been backwards and forwards since DS was born with endless symptoms and very vague symptoms. My GP I feel doesn't take me seriously. Tells me it's all in my head. I recently had more bloods which found I was extremely deficient in vitamin D despite having said blood test three months ago and they told me it was fine. B12 all fine, ferratin all fine, apparently all my tests are unremarkable. I've been tested for pretty much everything. I'm too scared to take a the vit D supplements due to fear of side effects. (Not sensible on my part but I'm genuinely terrified) I even struggle with pain killers so spend most of my time in absolute agony for pretty much no reason at all. Some days I can barely stand up and get out of bed. I have to crawl up the stairs and sometimes come down on my bum because my knees, ankles, hips, lower back are just stiff and very painful with any movement.. I get episodes of lightheadedness where I feel I might pass out, waves of nausea, terrible stomach cramps and toilet troubles to the point some days I can control my bladder or my bowels and have some accidents. I feel extremely fatigued all the time. From the minute I wake up I'm already exhausted. I get tingling and numbness in my hands and feet and sometimes my face. I do t k ow what to do anymore. I know something is wrong somewhere but I just can't get anyone to listen. I'm due a large sum of money and I'm considering paying to go private and maybe get some answers. My partner says I am being selfish. He's not supportive to be honest and just thinks I'm batty, he dismisses my worries and I can't talk to him about anything because he says it annoys him so I just leave it now. I just feel like I need answers as to why I feel so terrible all the time. I don't know how much longer I can cope. I have a 2 year old and the demands of parenthood coupled with the way I feel and everything else just feels impossible. I spend most of my days just crying and feeling useless. I don't want to be in pain anymore and feel the way I do. Am I selfish for wanting to spend my money might I add on getting the answers/treatment I need?

This sounds so tough. I would certainly get a private GP appointment as soon as you can. If you can afford it I would consider therapy as well, this can’t be easy to deal with without support.
Your child needs you to pursue improvements in your health if possible so you can be there for him/ her and be in a position to support them. It’s not selfish to try to achieve this for yourself or them. If the NHS isn’t providing for you at the moment it makes sense to go private when you can afford it. There are other ways to support the NHS (if that is you partner’s objection) - for example by voting with improvements to it in mind.
Once you hopefully feel better, I would have a rethink of your relationship as well. Who wants someone they love to feel like this?

YANBU - DD has quite a complex medical history and I’ve found private GPs so much more helpful and thorough than our NHS equivalent. If I know that it’s not something clear cut like tonsillitis etc I just take her straight to the private one now

To update: you’re not being selfish in the slightest. I’d love to see how your partner would cope in your shoes - spolier alert, not well! He sounds like an absolute prick

His problem.is he wants to spend the money hie he sees fit even though it's mine. I've never said that though because I'm not mean. I've just called him out on not supporting me and he's stormed off so.

Op we have had a few threats about iron deficiency.

NHS has a low bar on what's ok but many women said around 70 and over is best. Any lower and you can suffer symptoms.

I felt dreadful and it was low iron.

My dd had tests for something and the doc said totally perfect. All perfect. Her iron was 34.

That's not perfect and a few periods from going lower. I've got her a supplement and I'm trying to build her up.

So double check all bloods yourself.

I would think that spending the money on your health is a really good use of it, if you can find out what is wrong and get some treatment then life will be better for the whole family.
It sounds as if there is certainly something not right, whether a deficiency, something like fibromyalgia or something autoimmune (or a combination). You need someone who can take an overview of everything that is going on and refer you as needed.
It is very hard to pull yourself out of the anxiety about medication while you are feeling so down and unsupported so definitely consider therapy too.

Exactly. If your health wasn’t your wealth then companies wouldn’t be forking out ££££ on private health insurance policies for their employees. It has a direct socioeconomic impact

Low vit d can have massive impact. I take the spray from Amazon. No side effects at all.