Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have expected a romantic weekend?

24 replies

EveryonesMother · 24/03/2024 18:51

For context illness has put intimacy on a bit of a lull, it is a rare event these days.
I dared sugest a romantic break away to reconnect which was agreed. Off we go, stunning country spa hotel, have a light lunch, few drinks, explore the hotel then grab our things and head to the spa. In the room grabbing things he lays down and nods off...........for an hour. I waited patiently. Then says hes not in the mood to swim but begrudgingly comes with me, we arrive and hes forgotten swim things.....goes back to room and never returns.
I swam, i sat in the outdoor hot tub under the stars alone waiting.
When I returned to the room he was in bed watching football.
I fell asleep sometime during the football but awoke around 11pm to find he had gone to the bar, eventually returning to sleep off the drink.

He was in a foul mood the next morning and at 7am just told me we were leaving.
My assunption is that he was expecting s3x after the football and was angry i was asleep.
AIBU to expect a romantic break to be romantic? To spend time with the focus being on eachother NOT the usual football and booze.
I am actually thinking that he thinks because he paid for a hotel i should just (do it) I am so fed up, it was a beautifull place and could have been so lovely and all i felt was rejected and lonely.

Why am i the one left feeling bad.

He has stomped off to the pub all day today.

OP posts:
JustWhatWeDontNeed · 24/03/2024 18:54

Well, it doesn't sound like he's interested in reconnecting. No idea why he agreed to go with you. Did he know where he was going?

Can you bin him?

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 24/03/2024 18:55

Why are you putting up with this shit? End the relationship. It sounds as though it's over anyway.

As an aside, you can type sex.

Chamomileteaplease · 24/03/2024 18:55

Oh that sounds really horrible.

What is your marriage like generally? The weekend sounds like he didn't want to spend any time with you at all which is very sad. The fact that you were hoping to reconnect makes it even worse.

namechange1986 · 24/03/2024 18:56

Sounds like relationship is over. You can do better.

Zephyry · 24/03/2024 18:57

He sounds awful. And like he doesn't love like or respect you at all. Unless there is something else that's been going on to explain this, I would leave him

WarshipRocinante · 24/03/2024 18:57

Have you had an actual conversation about this?

WarshipRocinante · 24/03/2024 18:58

Or, since he is out, pack your bags and leave? Go stay with a friend or family member and tell him straight why.

Daleksatemyshed · 24/03/2024 19:01

You want to be romantic and reconnect, he just wanted to drink, watch the football and have sex- you are poles apart here Op. He thought paying for a hotel meant he was on a promise even though he showed you not a moment's interest nor an ounce of kindness. I won't say LTB but please have a good think about what you're getting from this relationship.

Comedycook · 24/03/2024 19:01

Sounds like he would have had an opportunity to have sex at some point but decided football was his priority

ProbablyHungry · 24/03/2024 19:02

Did you ask him why he didn’t come back and just went to watch football? That’s so insanely rude I can’t believe it.

I would have been furious at that, but would probably have gone up to check on him if he’d not come back after 20 mins or so.

I’d be having serious words about his behaviour tbh.

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 24/03/2024 19:06

Wait, so he just said “We’re leaving” and you just … left?

Did you not say why, or wtf? Like, have a conversation to establish what was going on?

Justmuddlingalong · 24/03/2024 19:08

Don't waste any more time or effort on reconnecting. He's obviously not interested and you can't save the relationship by yourself.

ManchesterBeatrice · 24/03/2024 19:11

Did you just...,leave when he said that?

God I'd love to see my other half try this.

marlfield · 24/03/2024 19:13

They say the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. I think your relationship has run its course I'm afraid. You deserve much better than this.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 24/03/2024 19:14

Maybe he is also feeling neglected and lonely?

But if he had demanded we leave I'd have told him where to jump. Actually, I'd have been to find him when he didn't come back quickly after just going to grab swim things. And I'd have told him where to jump if he was more interested in the footie

EveryonesMother · 24/03/2024 19:45

Comedycook · 24/03/2024 19:01

Sounds like he would have had an opportunity to have sex at some point but decided football was his priority

Edited

That was the idea, reignite some intimacy away from kids pets etc

OP posts:
EveryonesMother · 24/03/2024 19:50

ManchesterBeatrice · 24/03/2024 19:11

Did you just...,leave when he said that?

God I'd love to see my other half try this.

Yes I did as I was told. He paid for it and he drove.
Although the plan was to get up for an early swim and have a nice breakfast then a leisurley drive home maybe stopping for lunch. Non happened. We left at 7am this morning home by 10 he went to the pub at lunchtime and just arrived home now, 7.50pm legless.

OP posts:
EveryonesMother · 24/03/2024 19:51

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 24/03/2024 19:14

Maybe he is also feeling neglected and lonely?

But if he had demanded we leave I'd have told him where to jump. Actually, I'd have been to find him when he didn't come back quickly after just going to grab swim things. And I'd have told him where to jump if he was more interested in the footie

And i wanted to make the effort.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 24/03/2024 19:56

I’m sorry op, I’d feel it was a lost opportunity for proper time together. He doesn’t sound like he cares.

I'm guessing it isn’t out of character for him to go to the pub / watch football so maybe talking about expectations in advance would help. But whatever happens, make sure you tell him you’re very unhappy at his behaviour. If he accepts this and agrees he should not have, you have a starting point going forwards. If he denies it’s a problem, I suppose you have to think if you’re really happy to accept a relationship like this.

thedendrochronologist · 24/03/2024 19:58

I think he's checked out op.

I'd be devastated.

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 24/03/2024 19:59

I mean, it all sounds sad and I am sorry for you, but it also sounds pretty troubling tbh. He announces what’s happening and you do as you’re told.

Kitkatfiend31 · 24/03/2024 20:11

It sounds like his current relationship is with alcohol?

MiltonNorthern · 24/03/2024 20:16

God how fucking depressing. What a boring husband you have.

Noseybookworm · 24/03/2024 20:43

He sounds like a charmer 🙄 does he always behave like an arsehole? Does he have a drink problem?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page