Secrets

[littlesmellyteddy]

I have just found out that my DF is not my biological dad. It has come as a great shock to me and I am distraught. I have told my partner and he is so supportive. Not to drip feed but I am unsure if my DF knows and I am unsure if any elderly relatives know. My DM passed away a long time ago so cannot find out any details. My dilemma is do I ask my elderly aunts if they knew and try to find out who my biological father is. I would like to know. I more importantly do I tell my grown up daughters. They love their grandfather very much. As far as I am aware my parents had a happy long marriage. I somehow feel as I am betraying my DM by opening this can of worms but I dislike secrets thank you for reading

When you say DNA test, did you also do your dad's at the same time? I'm asking because I've read of cases where the child was adopted and the dad knew, rather than an affair, and even cases where the dad was adopted without knowing it but the child assumed that their own mum had been unfaithful, since their DNA didn't match up with their paternal grandparents'.

So I would say to really really think through the options. Perhaps worth mentioning to your dad that you want to take a DNA test and see what he says? He might surprise you with what he already knows.

I really do not know which way to turn with this. I love my D Father very much. The situation is taking a toll on my mental health

I think your Dad has a right to know

What led you to taking a DNA test?

I think the @VampireWeekday 's idea of mentioning to your DF that you are thinking of doing a DNA test for fun is a good idea. You might be surprised with what he comes out with. If he doesn't react then you don't have to mention it again unless you want to. Personally I wouldn't. Was your mum close to your aunt's? If she was then I might consider talking to one of them.

I wouldn't hurt him. Whatbis to be gained by sharing that bombshell. He is your dad end of

This sounds a really good option. I'd not mention it to your Dad because he possibly does not know and he could have a heart attack from the shock. No point in telling your own DC. I understand you have a nerd to know the rest of your family not so much.