To go or not go - conference 2 hours away

[YachtALot]

I’m in the first trimester and had some spotting this weekend. It seems to have mostly stopped and is only very light. I think (or hope) it is benign as it hasn’t got heavy and is more of a brown ish colour.

I want to call the EPU first thing tomorrow and ideally go for a scan asap, as I have had a loss previously so time might be of the essence (NICE guidelines says they will probably prescribe me progesterone as a precaution until 16 weeks).

I also have a really long day tomorrow due to a conference, 8-5:30 most likely with 1.5-2 hours travel tagged on each way.

EPU opens at 9. If I go to this conference it will be really difficult for me to have access to my phone or even pop out to make a call. Sometimes you have to wait on hold for a long time too, in experience, and they’re never quick calls. It’s possible they might not have a same day appointment but if they say come down at 11, it would be extremely difficult or impossible to get back in time and will add to my stress.

I’m working from home on Tuesday anyway, so fine if they give me an appt for then.

Would you give the conference a miss tomorrow in this situation? I don’t really want to disclose to work that I’m pregnant yet so not sure what to say. Thank you

Yes, prioritise your pregnancy and rest OP

Yeah just call in sick love and get sorted out instead. Hope all is ok

Give it a miss and say you have food poisoning!

In this instance, you should 100% tell your boss you won't be in.

Yes your body and your baby comes first. I hope everything is ok

Your health (and your pregnancy) is more important than work. Phone in sick and take care of yourself!

Just tell them youre ill. Surely they are sending others to represent them? You can ask another colleague to give you the pamphlets or discussion sheets. The speakers will surely be filmed for YouTube or whatever so you could watch a lot of it another day.
Get yourself checked out. If it ends up being another day when your working then say it relates to your illness from today.

We are getting a certificate to attend which counts as CPD, I daresay I won’t get it but I’m not bothered on a personal level.

When I had a bleed with DC2 I had only just returned to work after maternity leave and I felt awful for doing it but I took time off because ultimately my baby was more important than work. Call in sick tomorrow and prioritise yourself and your baby.

Thanks all. Would you suggest telling manager the real reason or not? They won’t be there themselves so it would just be a matter of letting them know I wouldn’t make it, I think. I could probably still work from home I just don’t want to be far from the hospital (which is only a 5 min walk!)

Yes, call in. I did call in when I had this ended up howling and telling my boss anyway. She never breathed a word to anyone else and was super understanding and supportive as things went on. It meant i relaxed during early pregnancy instead of stressing if I had to take time off and inventing some fake ailment. This was a boss who was very rigorous about attendance management even with those who were never off sick so made everything a lot easier. Good luck x

No need at all to tell them the reason. Say food poisoning or a stomach bug. There's no benefit to telling them the real reason at this stage.

Best of luck OP, put yourself and your pregnancy first

No, don’t tell them, just say you’ve been taken ill over the weekend and need to see the Doc first thing.

either way - and I say this as someone who has had MMC, you need to rest. Absolutely no to going to a conference tomorrow.

Can't you call someone today? And get a scan today?

All shut on Sunday annoyingly. Most EPUs are closed at the weekend

Absolutely call in sick and miss the conference. Your pregnancy comes first.

I had two miscarriages myself. The first time I kept it quiet at work. The second time I told my (male) boss what was going on. I'm in a different country, and women have a lot of work related rights during pregnancy, so telling my workplace ensured I was protected by law, but it also meant my boss was supportive and understanding. It was years ago, and I have a healthy toddler now, but looking back my only mistake was hiding my early pregnancy and loss the first time around.

Don’t worry that you can’t be seen today, just rest now and take it easy.

You do need to let work know so they can do a risk assessment for you, and so you're protected under equality legislation.

I’m only early still though

I would tell your boss because if you have to have a lot of time off with the pregnancy your protected from any issues with sickness policies as they can't count pregnancy related time off.

Lovely, pregnant is pregnant. They have a duty of care to you, just as you have a duty of care to yourself. You can tell HR in strict confidence. I would honestly tell them that's why you won't be at work tomorrow. Better than lying and getting caught out.