We live in a town that has plenty to do, in the town itself and a certain radius.
However the parents of DC at my child's school (late primary) seem to be increasingly booking birthday parties that are further away. A 40 minute drive minimum, and including in city centres.
The difference in attending these includes roads closed across the county and needing to go miles out of the way to get to the location, including finding multiple roads closed part-way through the journey, waiting on long queues of traffic for a couple of miles on the diversion and feeling completely lost where diversions aren't signposted, the satnav being no help, in fact worse it keeps telling us to go back to the closed route. We end up down tight little residential side roads that aren't familiar with higher risk of an accident. It wastes fuel. It is really stressful. Then sometimes the satnav (which is a good one) doesn't get us to the place and we're left figuring out how the hell to do it, finalising realising it's at the back of some industrial estate on the city outskirts. The parking when it's in s city centre is another £10 on top of the child's gift and card. And because we have to wait, money in a cafe or shopping. If you add these the party has probably cost 3x as much as if held nearer to home.
Sometimes the place is nice when we get there. But not nicer than places near to where we live. Sometimes it's downright nasty in comparison. Today we had to navigate a parking garage that smelt of wee with gross rubbish in piles around the doors. Several groups of homeless men yelling things as people passed. Only to find the party in a grotty old shopping centre.
I don't know the parents well which to know the rationale for these choices, or question them.
AIBU to just say no to these invitations? I don't want my DC to be left out and not go to parties but getting so fed up, and don't like how stressed I feel by the time we actually get there.