AIBU to not want to put DD back in nappies?

[Poostorm]

Have NC'd so I can share with DH...

DD is 3.5. We successfully potty trained her last June, however she regressed when she started nursery in September and ended up back in nappies for a while. She has been back in pants since December, although still having quite frequent accidents (both pee and poo). I suspected she might be constipated and that was behind some of the accidents; this week she became incredibly constipated and was prescribed lactulose, which helped.

She's having so many accidents now though. Today she's done four poos in her pants already. We are putting her on the potty and toilet regularly, she just doesn't go and then does it in her pants. I'm conscious that the lactulose may be a factor, so I'm going to stop that now.

DH wants to put her back in nappies again. I really don't want to take that step backwards once again. I'm going to phone the health visitor tomorrow for some advice, but in the meantime I thought I'd seek some options on here!

So - AIBU to not put DD in nappies again and to just ride this poo storm out? Or is DH right and should we protect our sanity/our floor?

I’d agree with LeanIntoChaos but do talk to the Gp and make a fuss -

Pull ups while you sort it out, but treat them as pants (super hero sanity saving pants) and keep up the potty habit.. saying that, at coming up four I’d get a loo step and seat which is FAR more glam and appealing to her (probably) and if it appeals go over to that, if it doesn’t stick to the potty for a bit.

She probably can’t feel what’s going on right now, but once that is sorted and you are about to take her out of nappies poo goes to pooland is a good book.

I won't comment on the potty training because we aren't there yet, but if constipation is the issue and it continues I would recommend moving to macrogol/Laxido sooner rather than later.
We used lactulose for ages because it did help, but there were loads of explosive poos and leaks as you described. I was very reluctant to get anything else but we finally tried Laxido in November because lactulose still didn't solve the problem. In just a few days we were back to regular poos, no straining or crying, a bit mushy at the start but now normal consistency. It's s massive relief tbh, because now we can start potty training normally.

We didn't 'push her' out of nappies 🤨 she was ready at that point, and barring one poo in the corner of the garden on the first day, didn't have any accidents over the summer at all. When she started nursery she started having accidents, and we put her back in nappies. Before Christmas she asked to go back in pants. So we've very much been led by her to date.

Agree it's a lot for one morning, unusually so. I will look at the website 🙂

Constipation/holding in + lactulose does that. My son could have 0 poos for 3 days, then 3-4 poos in a few hours for a week, then regular for a few days...

My daughter regressed when she was on laxido too, she couldn't control herself. I'd try tweaking the dose, we were recommended 4 sachets a day but she only needed one to stop being constipated. You need to keep with the laxido for a few weeks to stop the constipation.

Starting on 4 was a bad recommendation to be honest, that's the dose for impaction! You're supposed to start with 1 and build it up if necessary. We never needed more than 1 for now.

Yes to be clear we were told to build up to 4 from 1, but that was far too many at any point

I think you can check whether there is an impaction by giving her sweetcorn and monitoring its output iyswim.

I had to do this to myself when I had difficulties postpartum.

Sorry if that's tmi.

Id put her in pull ups, I had to make this decision when my son started wetting his bed recently... I think preserving your sanity is important.

Why is she getting constipated? This is derailing her potty trained status. Could you look into the diet?

As previous poster stated, macrogol is a far better option than lactulose. I never understand why a gp goes straight to it, especially for kids. I find even myself as an adult, lactulose is pretty bad for cramps and diarrhea. I'd do 1 sachet of something like Laxido in the evening and try and get her into a good, regular bowel habit, and in the meantime get some pull ups and keep encouraging going to the toilet periodically.

Try to look at it as a medical problem rather than a regression.

It may make it easier to stick to.

When the medical problem has resolved she can wear pants again.

I don't know. There haven't been any changes in her diet. She's been poorly this week but I think she was already a bit constipated beforehand.

What an incredibly helpful message. Great advice.

100% - I'm SO glad I posted!

Weetabix/All Bran are good breakfasts with lots of fibre, also warm drinks are quite good.

I would use the pull ups (just to give yourselves a break from washing if anything)
and, like other posters have said, would treat them as pants. Offer her to toilet every hour, or when you go. Keep up the communication at home and school with her, so she's as able as she can be to express when she needs to go.

After alot of back and forth I've finally managed to train my 3 year old, but I've had others who kept accidently wetting themselves 4+ when they were too engrossed with what they were doing to go to the toilet. When I could see they needed to go, I'd say "Are you doing the wee wee dance?" and then make up a silly little song to make it fun and they'd usually go.

Good luck :)