To ask, why are users of Mumsnet referred to as vipers?

[ManchesterBeatrice]

I see this often, is there a reason in? Always wonder!

Are you new?

The responses the OPs get is equivalent to a snakebite.

You’ve probably seen it yourself and most likely will get some replies like that in this thread.

Some women are just nasty bitches.

Stay around long enough and you’ll find out!

Thank you for demonstrating my point so quickly.

Because quite a lot of them are nasty for no reason at all.

AIBU is a snake pit - dip your toe in with a completely innocuous question and you're taking the risk that you might get ripped to shreds. The first few posts will set the tone - if one or two people get snarky with you, you can guarantee that 90% of the following posts will completely miss the point and will rip into you for no reason at all.

Go and look at the recent thread on streetloghts/blackout blinds. The mind boggles over how some people can be so unpleasant.

A woman journalist referred to Mumsnetters as a nest of vipers after posters made shitty comments about her after her son committed suicide.

I love Mumsnet and there are brilliant women here doing a great job supporting other women with emotional support and practical info.

There are also women here who really put the boot in to someone who is already on the ground.

All of the above and if you dare to be a step mum, or childfree, or a woman who enjoys her career watch out.

Or a SAHM!

It’s not about who you are, just that there will be a group of people out there who object to it!

I agree. Polar opposites there will always be someone who hates you.

Some nasty and unhelpful posters appear, particularly if it is topic that they feel strongly about. The Royal Boards were awash with posters putting the boot into Kate and William pre her cancer admission. There are posters out there who haven't got anything good to say about MILS, SILS, Stepchildren. Oh and men of course. Nothing positive to say about men from some posters who think Dads should not be allowed on a parenting forum. And anyone perceived as being old can face discrimination.
You get some innocent first time poster asking for help and they end up trying to defend themselves and their situation. Next thing their thread has been taken down because it is too 'identifying' ( shorthand for they never expected to have nasty responses to an innocuous question.
There are some lovely posters who are supportive and helpful. They make up for the poor behaviour of 'vipers'.

Oh I see!! Thanks! Love that the first post was a great example 😂

MN can be a nest of vipers. Just look at all the Kate threads prior to her recent announcement. Look at the Mother's Day Photogate response.
Read threads like, "Why are men so shit?" and you'll quickly learn, one post in, that it's our fault, the women. Yay!
And basically, everything Brabican said.

I take a certain pride in being a mumsnet viper!

But the way I interpret this label is that women are traditionally expected to be nice, kind, gentle, compliant, all that. Whereas a lot of women here are straight-talking, opinionated, and not afraid to argue their point, while also being supportive. When I first joined, more than 10 years ago, I found that refreshing, especially in comparison with other “mums” forums.

For me, I try to distinguish between that and being unnecessarily mean, mindlessly piling on, and being narrowly judgemental. I never want to kick someone when they’re down. (And I didn’t know about the suicide case.)

Some boards on here are full of supportive posters. The life limiting illness board is an oasis of support and understanding. In fact there are lots of boards which are full of kindness and understanding. Fashion and Beauty have some posters who make it their responsibility to search out lovely clothes when posters ask for help in dressing for a special occasion.
I find the Feminism Board scary. You have to toe the party line on there with regard to issues such as trans or you are chased away.
Many of the smaller boards with a specific interest or focus have lots of kind posters.

Agree with previous about the vitriol poured onto Kate this time last week.
Not one of them could stand down and think It's.Not.Our.Business.
Oh and don't have a different opinion to someone else. That never ends well 🤷‍♀️
I usually read first couple of posts on each thread then go to the last page as whatever the topic there will have been an argument somewhere or it will have changed direction.
But possibly that makes me as bad looking for the drama 🤷‍♀️

Oh gosh yes! I've seen that 😂

I also hate to see women turn on other women. It happens a lot on some boards on here. I have lost count of the times I have seen some posters suggest that a way to deal with a MIL is to feed her the idea that she has dementia. Probably the same posters who appeared to glory in Kate, a young mother, suffering from a life threatening illness.
As I said, there are many helpful, caring posters on here and that sometimes gets lost in the desire from some posters to put other women down. On line bullying.

@DoorOpening Yes that's a great distinction to make 😊

Because a lot of them are cruel/rude/sarcastic/enjoy sticking the boot in to OPs at their lowest moments

Because they display firm boundaries and wont excuse abuse.

@TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled If that's the case then definately a viper.

Interesting different takes on it 😊

Then I'm definately a viper.

Because they don't feel they have to #Bekind to people who are abusive, having a negative impact on others or behaving horrendously.

Saying "are you new" is hardly being a viper.

There are some right dicks on here but there are also a whole lot of people who need to grow a backbone and some resilience!