Feel guilty about not going to soft play and playgrounds more

[Letsseewhattomorrowbringsshallwe]

It’s all over my Instagram/Fb…lots of friends etc at soft play and so on.
I do lots of activities & crafts and meet ups with my Dd, but not every weekend. Do you take yours to a playground/soft play every weekend & during the week?
Today we did the food shop, took our dog for a long walk by our house, took her for a bike ride, she made a den, her neighbour pal came to play for an hour and she went to his for a bit, dinner, stories & bed
Tomorrow, I envisage similar as we’re taking the dog for a picnic to a nature place with a stream to play in with her net etc, we’ll come home and she’ll either play in the garden or see her neighbour pals again.
We sometimes go to parties but not all the time, I see on everyone’s feeds, constant parties and soft play/playgrounds and wonder if we should be doing this more?

Shes 5

Nope, you are doing loads with her. Its not like she is sitting home watching TV all day. And I actually think what you are doing is better, it encourages imaginative play rather than being entertained by soft play etc.

Your day sounds much better than soft play! I hate soft play! Absolute chaos! My kids really don’t like it either unless it’s during a quiet period. I’m trying to cut back on spending so am doing more creative things with the kids. Today we went for a walk through the forest collecting twigs for the fire. We made Easter bonnets (for school) in the afternoon and tomorrow we’re going round the local area on a litter pick the lunch at Nana’s house. We all chat together and it’s lovely and relaxing. Save the soft play for the parties!

Honestly? And I may get shot at Dawn, whoever she is, I hate sofplays and playgrounds so rarely took DD. I MUCH prefer what you describe and I think it's better for kids.

Outside, fresh air, exercise, having fun.

Dons HardHat
Are you ready? Steady?

Don't read further.. that's a warning..

(I think some, not all, but some people are idle and use sofplays as a lazy escape from proper activities like walks and bike rides and playdates.)

*Runs...

I think your weekend activities sound lovely for your daughter. She is spending time with you and doing a variety of things. There's a lot to be said for being able to think up games e.g. den building.

I get what you mean though. My son is 10 and I see posts all the time of other families who seem to be on expensive trips out all of the time. I don't begrudge them and it is their choice how they spend their money. We are fortunate that we are not short of money but neither are we rich and we are currently saving for some house things we want to do and we are having a holiday in Austria this summer which isn't exactly cheap.

During term, my son does cubs and swimming. At the weekends, we do things like go for walks, see my parents, he plays with the girl who lives further down, we work on his homework, build lego etc. Basically, pretty normal stuff which isn't expensive but he loves it! My job is very demanding and I need some down time at weekends.

It's Easter soon and we are not going away but again, have plans for local walks, swimming, a few projects such as building ds gravity bug, baking, seeing family. I know some parents will be taking their dc somewhere every day but I also know lots won't.

I’m not on social media which I think is awful for making parents feel inadequate. Honestly you’re fine OP. We hardly ever do soft play as DD is autistic & she finds it overwhelming. I also think it’s hell on toast 😂. I grew up without ever going to soft play & I turned out ok!

Your weekend with her sounds lovely! Last time I met someone at soft play I went home with a headache - absolute chaos. Don’t know how people abide them.

What you are doing sounds much better in my opinion soft play and playgrounds are for when you have nothing else to do as more of a back up. I have never understood either of them if there are other good options. I know what you mean about other people have an obsession with them though. One warm summer day we were taking our reception age child out just us on a 30’ motor yacht so free to do what we want and go where we want. A day to spend picnicking on board, swimming off the boat, exploring deserted beaches, seal spotting, fishing etc. I was told I was mean not taking him to softer play with a relative instead!

Yes I grew to never going to a soft play too 😅
Dd loves walking in the woods and often plays games on the way. It’s just today she mentioned that she wanted to go to a playground and I wondered if everyone takes their dc every weekend, I mean she goes to playgrounds a fair amount. Just made me feel guilty and think I’d better squeeze one in tomorrow maybe, but our picnic day out was the original plan

don’t worry what ‘everyone else’ is doing …

… when mine were little money was really tight and I could only afford soft play once in a while so was a real ‘treat’ for mine.

I always felt bad at the time as other mums I knew took there’s 2 or 3 times every week but I never had the money.

I took them to playgrounds as free and did loads with them at home with craft / playing with them.

now I’m older - I see I did both the best I could with the resources (1 wage family) that I had and also that comparing myself to others is just a recipe for beating myself up.

As long as it works for you and your family and is legal - do it - enjoy it!!!!!

Don’t waste precious time and headspace on comparing / wondering if it is ‘good enough’ by others standards .,

It’s not really about the money or comparing myself to others, it’s more am I giving my Dd the best life and happy experiences

I hated soft play, it was always a last resort option if it was pissing down outside and I needed to get out of the house. There’d always be the inevitable snots and coughs after it too.
Playgrounds I liked because there was a coffee van there.😂

We do a lot of playgrounds and a fair bit of soft play as my dcs enjoy it and it fits in with the other activities they have planned. We don't post any of it on social media and I don't follow anyone else who would post about that kind of thing. But it's what my DCs prefer to do (along with other organised activities outside the home) and what I enjoy doing with them. I don't see the point in feeling guilty about doing something else if it's what your dcs want to do.

Soft play is my idea of hell on earth. A walk in the woods or any stroll in the fresh air sound so much better. When my two were little we’d also pop to a local cafe for a treat. Some lovely local parks and playgrounds near us but we didn’t go too often. One of my favourite things to do when they got up early was we’d all sit at the table and do some colouring - wouldn’t last long but it was bliss and I’d normally manage to down a coffee in the time.

OP I think your activities are great and certainly more budget friendly than going to soft play.
If you feel inclined put some pics of your walks on social media to push back on the activity based ones you see. Simple pleasures are so much better.

I hate soft play; sticky germy places. I’ve taken my eldest a few times before, my youngest is 1 next month and has never been. We much prefer what you do!
I spoke to my mum once about this and said I felt bad I didn’t take my kids much and she said ‘me and your dad never took you because we thought they were gross, do you feel like you missed out!?’
and the answer is obviously no 😂
but I do have great memories of bike rides, forest walks and feeding ducks!

Soft play 🤯🤮

I think it depends on the child to be honest. My older less social child preferred little party. My younger spent most weekends going party to party at that age.

Your child is getting out and about to me that is the important point. Fresh air, exercise and engagement I think are beneficial to children and adults 😉

My DDs are now 23 and 20 and the only time they ever went to a softplay was if they were attending a party. I never took them otherwise.

I agree with a previous poster that soft play has always seemed to me an easy way to tire your kids with minimum effort. I've never considered going to soft play as aspirational or even remotely positive - other than for helping them build a strong immune system maybe!
Craft activities, walks in the woods and den building are a billion times healthier and better for your child than soft play.
You sound like you are doing a great job.

When mine were young we rarely did soft play because it was expensive and we couldn't afford it. Similarly cinema was a treat every so often. We did have Sky though so they had access to plenty of films.
We only did a couple of activities for much the same reasons too expensive and frankly who wants to spend weekend after weekend, evening after evening taking the kids here and there. We did loads of stuff altogether though. Playground, picnics, plenty of free activities we found , including tree planting, a day foraging, museums, heck they even enjoyed brass rubbing once when we looked round a church. Board games, card games, all good times. What kids enjoy the most is your time. Spend time having fun with them. That is what they remember the most. The rest well its all the same. My kids are adults now. None of them really know which soft play they were at when even though it was a rare occurance, supposedly a treat, but they all remember exactly where and when they had their nets at a pond and Mum fell in. It is probably their favourite holiday memory.

Dry robe alternative
Towelling robe
flip flops for manky floor
Good swimming cap

Take swim suit off, stick towelling rob on, then dry robe and head home for your shower.

Both my children got verrucas at swimming, I hated taking them but I never learnt to swim so I was determined they would

Totally ignore my last post, I replied to wrong thread 🫣🫣 time for new glasses

You are doing loads with her already! We only go to the playground every weekend because we are very unimaginative and can't think of anything else😂

@MrsPositivity1 I was so confused 😂

No and she (same age as yours) wouldn't like it if we did. I'd say per month we have one or two party / play dates / soft play events, one trip away as a family, a couple of extended family visits and the rest is picnics, walks, beach, or doing Lego and crafts at home. Myself and her dad get out about twice together and more times separately also.

Trust your own judgement. I know if we've been doing too much she will tell me she wants a "relaxing day' at home. I also let her know that sometimes I have to be away from her for work or other engagements.

We are all doing our best and it sounds like your DD has a loving balanced home.

You know perfectly well that what you are doing is fine.