Dd and A levels like watching a car crash about to happen…

[Watermelon999]

So frustrated that dd has reached peak teenage just before A levels and is currently on course to fail (well E and C) based on recent mocks. (Predicted AB, not a chance of this now).

Lack of effort and engagement, lack of communication as to why and maximum use of phone and prioritisation of relaxation time. Revision non-existent.

Really struggling with how to deal with it, have tried carrot and stick, full on support with doing everything for her at home to free up her time, helping with lifts etc, all thrown back at me. Tried communicating, offered to help manage time and revision plan, but declined.

Anything else I can do? I’m so worried that her life choices will be so limited unless her grades improve, including not getting into her uni choices, but even this doesn’t seem to matter to her….

I feel like a prisoner in my own home at the moment because I feel like I need to be here to make sure she’s at least looking like she’s working and it’s not a nice atmosphere to live in.

This is why it's so so stupid that there is so much pressure put on exams at 16-18 years of age. It's so unfair.

Our DS was similar. "Failed" the lot. Took a year off working in a music shop and then re-did his A-levels at the local college.

He has an MA now.

In her head, it's better to not try and fail than to try then fail. I think all you can do is ask her what she plans to do in September if she fails. It might be worth pointing out that most/all of her mates won't be around.

Some kids are going to take a different path. It may be the harder one in the long run but at some point you need to let them fail or succeed in their own way.

Honestly if you’re going to fail it’s better to fail young when there is a chance to recover.

Have one last chat and clearly lay out expectations. If you fail and don’t get accepted to Uni…then you are working full time and paying X in rent or will be moving out. (Or whatever your terms are)