Do I sound straight to you?

[Causei]

30 yo female. Only dated men. Vast majority of crushes have been men… or so I thought.

Have occasionally had random dynamics with women where I find them to be extremely beautiful to the point of being shy/self-conscious in their company. ALWAYS assumed this was more intimidation/jealousy than anything. The women I have had crushes on have never been conventionally beautiful by society’s standards.

I am considered beautiful so attract good looking men - who I am far more likely to be attracted to than their female equivalent (if that makes sense). E.g. if you had a line up of 100 good looking guys let’s say I would be attracted to 30% of males but this would only be 0.1% in the equivalent line up of conventionally attractive females.

I also remember an openly out lesbian friend at school (all girls) once had a hickey that she was hiding and I remember feeling jealous that she had been intimidate with someone. She was androgynous- seems to be what I am attracted to on reflection.

I wonder if I am lesbian or just really admire women who are confident enough to ignore gender stereotypes. I am very concerned with my physical appearance sadly, so this may very well be the case.

I remember basically worshipping Avril Lavine but was this a crush looking back?

You know the choice isn't limited to straight or lesbian right?

Random people on mumsnet cant tell you if you are straight or gay

I’m assuming I’m bi and somewhere on the spectrum - much further away from straight than I first realised

Try it and see?

I don't think anyone is in a position to identify your sexuality but you. Also, not sure why it matters? You're entitled to have a relationship with anyone you like who reciprocates. You don't need to put yourself in a box.

You can of course be bisexual... and no one here is going to know better than you if you find women sexually attractive as well as men.

I know I shouldn’t put myself in a box, only just realised I may have even be putting myself in one that is wrong. A little mind blowing

I too find androgynous and butch women extremely attractive. I don’t see this type ‘in the wild’ very often though and so can forget that this attraction exists and hadn’t realised it until recently. I’d say I’m about 70% straight.

I get occasional very rare crushes on women including sexual and romantic feelings but I don’t think I would want to be intimate or in a relationship with a woman, I don’t know if that’s because of a lack of experience but even if in an alternative life I would have been bi I think I’d always have stronger feelings for men. I’ve tried to explore a bit further with women a couple of times but I quickly felt inauthentic and that I was leading them on. I wouldn’t consider myself anything other than straight. I don’t think there’s much point worrying about it in terms of labels or identity. If you’re single then explore if you want to, don’t if you don’t. It’s a practical matter not a theoretical one! If you’re in a relationship with a man and have only ever been involved with men and haven’t just fallen head over heels for a woman that’s left you doubting everything that came before, then I don’t see the need to dwell on occasional passing feelings you’ve had about women.

edit - although of course if you are single and do find the feelings can grow and have the opportunity to save yourself from a lifetime of men then obviously get out while you can!