Feel scared after husbands heart attack

[Bibbetyboo]

Husband is only 45. Had a heart attack this week. Kids are 3 and 6. His work is stressful and mortgage more than doubled in the last year. Both work full time and feel run ragged.

We really need to downsize and reduce financial load on him/ me. But right now I can’t handle thinking beyond day to day.

Really scared about the future. He has to take 8-10 pills now and he struggled to take 2 before (for high bp, probably why he had the attack this week).

Advice on supporting family to turn things around? I have my own issues with depression and always feel I’m failing as it is.

Very frightening for you all. Me, I would take this as a warning/ sign whatever you want to call it, to make changes now. You're coming up to perfect selling season, get someplace in place, work out what you can afford as a mortgage. A busy proactive mind leaves less time to stress about things you can't control.

You've had a shock. Don't make any rash decisions and give yourselves time to recover.

When you say struggled to take, do you mean forgetful or struggled to swallow. I would buy a little pill dispenser to keep a good track can be kept of the amount taken.

But agree take a breath, you are in a state of shock.

Hi, I’m so sorry to hear this. Same thing happened to my husband in December, he was 46 at the time. It’s a huge shock and I’m still trying to process it now I think but thankfully he’s doing well after having a stent fitted.
At this early stage I would suggest trying to keep things as normal as possible for your kids (mine are 6 & 4) and putting on a big, smiley brave face as best you can for them. Lean on the support from your family and friends, you’ll need it and just focus on the basics right now. Get out for a short walk everyday, remember to eat and try to get to bed at a reasonable time.
I’m assuming your husband is still in hospital so it’s a lot with visiting, school runs, work etc.
Can you take some time off work?
Don’t think long term just yet, that will come once you’ve come to terms with it a bit. Just put one foot in front of the other just now and look after yourself the same way you’re looking after your kids.
You will be fine and sending lots of love ❤️

My DH was 51 when he had his ‘widow maker’ heart attack. I was 41. He’s here because of a miraculous set of circumstances. That and the massive number of daily drugs lol

Our children (6 of them) ranged from 11-23 at the time. It was hard. I worried far more than him, he remembered nothing but I remembered every little detail.

Hes 61 now, since the heart attack he’s more breathless and can’t race about like he used to but he worked to 58 (then he retired and we moved) we took on 2 toddler grandchildren as their primary careers full time. We adjusted to a new reality and over time it is just normality.

Sadly he’s recently been diagnosed with cancer, totally unrelated to the heart attack, we were just unlucky.

I also suffer anxiety, exacerbated by the stress of his ill health probably. The British Heart Foundation has some great forums. Also there’s a few groups on Facebook for partners of heart attack cases.

I found educating myself helped a lot. I make sure I keep my first aid training up to date. I never want to feel powerless. I also campaign to get defibrillators installed everywhere lol. I also have one at home now.

message me if you want a chat sometime.

Huge shock, no wonder you're scared.

I agree with others above, don't rush into decisions just let things settle down a little.

My DH had a heart attack and cardiac arrest when he was 49. It's very shocking and hard to manage emotionally.

He is in good physical and mental health now 10 years later (also here due to miraculous circumstances - he survived the cardiac arrest because he was on a night out with nursing colleagues!) He rushed straight back to work, in denial really, and had a huge mental break down about 6 months later.

Take your time, and reach out to talk to people about the impact it has had on you too. Then you'll be better able to support him.