Party game etiquette for toddlers

[Kidspartytroll]

Bit of a light-hearted one!

My DS is almost 3 so we've been going to a number of toddler birthday parties and party game etiquette is confusing me.

Now they're getting to 3 they're a lot more understanding of games and the rules but at parties, pass the parcel doesn't have an end prize and everyone just gets a small sweet/toy/something so everyone is happy but...it's boring!

Nobody goes out in musical statues and nobody even attempts the classic carnage of musical chairs. My personal favourite.

What's the point in playing?!

I remember growing up with these games and sometimes winning, sometimes not. I've got some childhood trauma but none of it is from party games.

To be fair, when I've seen pass the parcel done properly there are tears, but it's a rite of passage and at the end of the day, only a game. A good metaphor for life - which let's face it, isn't fair.

ABU - they're too young, games should be adapted and it's still fun
ANBU - they should play the games properly because they should learn it's fun and they can't always win

Do you also play full monopoly, scrabble, and hard ball cricket with your 2 year old?

Dont worry, plenty of time for the games to get more competitive when they’re a bit older. You could do the “full” versions at the next party you hold if you like, see how it goes. But I don’t blame anyone for giving the kids party game fun but not instigating tears quite yet - age 2/3 is still very very little. Plenty of time over the next few years for more game development.

The point of a party is to have fun, not to teach life lessons to 3 year olds.

At that age the engaging in a structured game for the full length is the high expectation. Teach them to lose later.

Pass the parcel has routinely had a sweet between the layers for at least 30 years! Not a new thing for everyone to get something (though no bigger prize in the middle is less normal).

And I think big organised toddler birthday parties with games are comparatively new - these parties only really used to start at school age. What 5 year olds are capable of understanding is light years away from what 2 year olds can manage. So it makes sense that games will have to be adapted if it's going to involve any fun instead of a lot of crying kids who don't understand what's going on (quite likely to happen at that age even with modified rules!)

You’ve seen the bluey episode about this?!

If they are three, are you sure you remember attending as a three year old?

I have a just turned 3YO and a 6YO. At 5th/6th parties you see all these games played normally with no issues whatsoever. Never seen anyone actually try with 2-3YOs because it should be obvious they won’t get it, and parties are supposed to be fun not a lesson in resilience, but doing it non competitively actually isn’t a terrible idea.

I thought that pass the parcel has a small prize between each layer (and intervention to ensure everyone gets one) and then a bigger prize in the middle and it's left up to chance who gets that?

YABU
The game itself is challenging enough at that age. Adding in an element of winning /losing is far too much pressure.
There's plenty of time for that later on.

At 3 our at home parties were more playmates. They still play beside each other rather with each other in some.cases.

Games I'd have weather permitting are bubbles. Indoor baloons and the games are just play.

Have some simple crafts set out on the side and a selection tion of toys to play. Food and drink for parents

My DD was sept so most of her friends were still 2. Maybe it's reverse for you but the best games party we had was when ds was 6.

I remember growing up with these games and sometimes winning, sometimes not
Are you sure you’re not remembering when you were older? I don’t remember a lot from
age 2-3, definitely nothing that detailed and my 6YO can’t remember any of her 2s class at all let alone what games they played at Teagan’s party and who won.

Lucky's dad's rules ftw!

I think if you look back at your memories of party games a little harder you won't have been three when they were competitive.

I wouldn't do party games at all at that age, but if you must then making sure everyone has fun is the best way to approach a party imo. Plenty of time for your three year old to learn the hard lessons of life, doesn't really need to happen at a pre-school birthday party.

It seems I'm a bit too hardline on the games! And perhaps actually they should just be played properly at school age. At DS birthday we won't do any party games so perhaps I answered my own question, but I was confused by others decisions and adaptations.

Yes traditionally there's always been a prize and everyone might get one but the missing middle prize to me seems a bit much.

I'll try Monopoly and Scrabble with my child later and see how we get on! He'll like the little hat.

I haven't seen the Bluey episode and will definitely watch. Like most modern parents I feel both inspired and also inadequate by Bluey.

you beat me to it. I'm puttin' my foot down, Janelle - we're raisin' a nation of squibs!"

I was about to say the same thing. Lots of children at the parties OP is attending are only 2 - joining in and following rules is learning at this age. Plenty of times for the real rules later.

I was just thinking that, possibly one of my fav bluey episodes "this isn't the 80s Pat"

I said YABU but with the caveat that 3 year olds can’t sit and wait for ages (some can but the ones that can’t are still very much without developmental norms - if not more so). I’d do activities that everyone does or a free play type set up. Party games with rules and expectations are best left for school age (and can still be a bit of a challenge for the younger ones). Just to say I’m so over parties 😂 too loud, overstimulating sensory overload for the most part. I think there should be a volume limit to preserve hearing but I don’t think that would go down well.

I hate the whole notion of party games. Kids run around having fun, suddenly a grownup steps in and we have mandatory fun of a party game which is not fun at all. Screw pass the parcel. Give them balloons and let them run around and give parents some coffee.

My DD insisted we did pass the parcel with Lucky's Dad's Rules a couple of birthdays ago .... her little friends were most put out :P

I played luckys dad rules at a party and the first time it happened it was a disaster. Second time they got it. I refuse the "everyone is a winner" mantra that some play by.

Party games are for children old enough to understand them, not for toddlers and preschoolers!

You’re misremembering how old you were. See also fairy tales.

My son absolutely refused Lucky’s dad’s rules at his 5th party! We did put a big prize in the middle though and left it to chance who got it.

I think the games you’re talking about are too much for 2/3 year olds OP, by 5/6 they are more appropriate. Though round us parties mostly involve either a bouncy castle or an “activity”, I’ve not been to one with organised games other than a round of pass the parcel.

The other thing that gets my goat at pass the parcel is when the birthday child wins the main prize. That's just not on. The birthday child shouldn't win the big prize as they have all the presents from the party.

100%! We did Lucky's Dad's rules, aka the proper way, for pass the parcel at DD's last party. No issues.