Will this get easier when he’s two?? I hate my life

[sofedupofthiss]

My son is 16 months. Partner is at work a lot, but does his bit when around. I’m so fed up. I hate being a parent. Constant shit, washing, food prep, struggles with dressing or car seats etc etc etc what age will it feel better

I’m so sorry that you feel down like this.

is it all the time or has it been particularly tricky at the moment? What does your week look like in terms of childcare, groups, play groups etc?

It’s a tough age, sort of straddling baby and toddler. I did find things eased off after two and a half and he’s now three and lovely mostly.

I think three is a significant jump. Much easier after that. Then four easier again. At two they're very mobile with very little sense. Plough on. Definitely easier times ahead.

Yes! IDK why anyone talks about ‘terrible twos’ because they’re a breeze compared to 15-18 months. This too shall pass. Repeat ad infinitum.

It's a tough slog OP!

I found my son started to feel more like a "person" (if that makes sense) around 2.5 - 3.

When they can actually start to have a conversation with you, you begin to learn from their own words what their likes and dislikes are, their favourite characters in a TV show or who they played with that day at nursery.

I felt more like I was actually hanging out with someone then not just looking after them.

Thanks, so seems like it’s more like 3 it might get better? I feel like it’s such a slog at the moment :(

Do you work? It might help 😂

2 hasn’t been easier for us but 1-2 was fairly easy going. I do enjoy the little chats we have now!

I found 1-2 really tough. They need a lot of managing, but can’t yet really play or chat.

2 was easier, 3 even better, and now she’s 4 she’s a genuine pleasure to be around, nearly all of the time.

Do you work? I would have gone demented it I didn’t. There’s no prizes for slogging through motherhood.

Honestly 2 is tough going as well. They get a bit more reasonable around 3.

Nothing wrong with putting him in nursery and working if you don’t enjoy being at home all the time, if it makes sense for you financially etc.

It is a slog at that age. Only now at around 5 I feel like I’m on the other side of things and it’s mostly enjoyable.

I went to a nice café with my 2½-year-old today. He picked the café, the chocolate cake and the table. We sat opposite each other in separate chairs and talked while we shared a delicious chocolate cake served with whipped cream, fresh berries and drizzled with caramel sauce. It was so nice. Felt like we could do actual people-stuff together, not just baby/toddler-stuff. Couldn't have done it like that just 6 months ago. It's definitely starting to feel easier now.

Would agree with 3. Both my 2 seemed to flip a switch and become much easier around this age. 18 months is the peak for hard work IMO

My DD is 2 and her cousin is 3 and I can see a massive difference between them so I am hoping around 3. 🤞🏼

Thanks. I work 3 days and find the two days in the week a lot alongside the weekend too. I feel like an awful mum wanting to do four days in work when I don’t have to

Does your husband ever feel bad for working?

…. thought not.

YOU are important too.

If you can afford he has a 4th day in nursery and you don't work! Chill at home? Get on top of the housework so the rest of the time you are less stressed.

It definitely gets better from my own experience. I remember hating being a Mum for the first few years when my DDs were small, but as they get older, I find myself thinking "These are my favourite ages", but then the next year I'll think "Actually, these are my favourite ages!", so for me it has just kept getting better. My DDs are 15 and 17 now, and I'm really enjoying being Mum to teens - I'm dreading the oldest going away to university next year, but if you'd asked me when she was 2, I was counting down the days!

Hey,
I have twins who turned 2 in November... so they are 28 months old now.

Honestly the change I've seen in them in the last 2 months has been astounding. I struggled hugely from around14 months upto around 24 months. Everything felt so challenging and at times monotonous.

Since the beginning of the year, their speech has improved meaning they are able to verbalise what they want more, and their beautiful personalities are emerging.

Physically they're challenging because they're full of beans, but the joy really does outweigh everything else.

I shudder to think about doing the newborn/baby stage, I'm enjoying this so much more.

Keep going xx

It definitely gets easier. I was wondering what the hell we’d done when mine was that age and my husband works at the weekends too. I was an absolute shell of a human, I feel for you and no one explicitly tells you this in advance! After about 2 they can start to entertain themselves for short spaces of time and whilst I know people will judge, when they can follow a storyline on a tv show for 15 mins giving you a break to do basic chores or whatever it feels much less intense. Mine has just turned 3 and it’s a different world. You’ll get through it, but yes it’s so tough. Treat yourself to some alone time every now and then.

My youngest is nearly 2.5 and is finally starting to be a bit more manageable. He's a complete wild fire though and has spent most the past year destroying our house 400 times a day. As PP said, 1-2 can be a really difficult age with lots of mobility and zero sense.

It will get easier. Not everyone loves every stage and every child is very different (my eldest was a breeze until about 3.5 then seemed to develop big feelings over night and it's been trauma since)

2 and a quarter was when it got easier, I could get out some playdoh and spend half an hour actually engaged with it, asking for things to be made, following instructions.
Could focus on a short programme giving you 15 minutes to prep tea.
Now at early 3 there are a lot of emotions so thats no picnic but she'll climb in her car seat, put on clothes, help you with things, have great chats, sit in a cafe and eat cake, all lovely stuff

And don't let anyone make you feel bad for plonking them in front of the TV when you need a minute.

Ryder and his team of pups save my life and/or sanity on a daily basis.

My DD has just turned 2, it definitely isn't easier. I found 13-22m fairly easier, she didn't have any difficult behaviour and went along with anything. Now she is much more opinionated! I don't work so she is with me all the time, it's very hard work. I wouldn't want to return to work though, but I hate working more than slogging it out with a toddler

Have a 22m old. Parenting is the worst.

I adore him - I know I have to caveat that.

But the days are long and full of battles and constant 3 healthy meals and snacks and chasing him around to stop him killing himself and of course not sleeping through at night.

I work too but honestly still feel like I never get a break and it is HARD right now. Sympathies OP.

Honestly, no.

My youngest is nearly 3 (I have 4 kids). I work 4 days a week in a stressful job and by Sunday night I’m looking forward to going back to work for a rest. The five, twelve and fourteen year olds are a dream though and my 3rd child was lovely from day one so it’s different for everyone.

My current 2 yr old is adorable but she’s also a demon from hell. The story upthread with the chocolate cake and the chat would not happen to us - she would end up throwing a tantrum because she didn’t want the cake she’d chosen and then crying because I ate it.

If you really aren’t enjoying being at home then don’t feel guilty about working a longer week. I parent really hard on the days I’m at home but I can only do that because 4 days a week I get to drink hot coffee, eat my lunch without anyone sharing it and go to the toilet alone… 4/5 when they can go to school is definitely better….