Mother in law

[alexis97]

Hey guys,

I'd love an insightful chat about good old mother in laws... how do you get on with yours?

My mother in law has always been great from the beginning however she doesn't like not getting her own way and has spit the dummy out on several occasions. My husband is her second child and it's very clear that she has a favourite which is her first born. My husband knows this and it hurts him... ALOT...

So i had a baby in January, and she was supposed to have him overnight a few weeks back to which she wasn't feeling great, she had him for 2 hours and I appreciated that so much. I haven't had a lot of support and husband has been working away. Her first son has a baby and her son and his gf have just had a 5 night holiday away while her parents had their baby. My mother in law had her for the day while they worked, and is also having her overnight. Myself and my husband were annoyed by this as I have a Sen toddler and new baby and she didn't offer to help, she pops in 10 minutes a day and that's all. Her first and his gf get so much time and she has their baby ALOT. We obviously said something and she said "it was our choice to have another baby so soon" we never expect her to have our little ones they are always with us, but I'm very run down and could do with a full nights sleep. Is one night too much to ask? Did she need to comment that because I asked for one night when we never do?

BIL always takes advantage but we ask a favour and we're treated like we expect the world...

It’s unfair she doesn’t treat you equally but it sounds like BIL and GF are taking advantage of MIL. Do you mean your baby was born January this year? I wouldn’t expect anyone to look after my baby of just a few weeks over night.

I'm sorry but you lost me when you said your baby was born in January. They're still in the fourth trimester, and must be a matter of what, 8-12 weeks old? It's an awful lot to expect of someone to take a newborn overnight. I don't think you should have said anything at all especially when she has helped you out by taking the baby for two hours. She'll probably be less likely to offer in future due to the lack of gratitude.

It does sound like the other brother is really taking advantage but I guess I don't think that means you should too.

So i had a baby in January, and she was supposed to have him overnight a few weeks back

Sorry, but that's bonkers. Totally unreasonable to expect anyone besides the parents to have a baby that young overnight.

Also, no one owes you childcare, regardless of whatever childcare they provide for anyone else.

Congratulations on the baby op, a sen toddler and a newborn- I think I’d probably be worried looking after them too, it’s a lot to cope with!!! As for your bil, he probably has had to beg too but you just don’t see it!!

I would do anything for my children and grandchildren, anything. But Eve I would balk at having their newborns. If they needed support I'd go to them.

MIL - where do I start??? I have a DS then 2.5 yrs later a DS. Even prior to that, my own parents were made to feel like 2nd place at a wedding they paid half of! I met my DH at uni - as soon as I met his family, it was evident that his younger brother was 'golden child' - my DH has never been strong enough to argue. They were happy with their grandson, but as soon as I was pregnant with my beautiful girl, they criticised the name I chose and never favoured her. My parents are so balanced in contrast. They were great until their 'golden child' got a partner pregnant - lovely boy but the world revolves around him even if they have committed to help us - quite happy to text and ditch other grandchildren. It causes a huge rift in our marriage. The point they were utterly nasty about our children one summer in 2022 is the day I walked away.