So upset and confused - issue at work

[Hereforthekickz]

I have worked there for 5 years. I work in admin for a large company and have 2 colleagues that do the same work as me. General admin, answering calls etc. I am a hard worker.

I am full time. My colleagues job share. One works Mon, Tue, Wed. The other 1/2 day Wed, Thurs, Fri. There is always 2 min admin staff on any day.

Our manager wanted to propose a home working arrangement with his boss. He asked what days we would like. The colleague that works 1/2 day on Wednesday ( let’s call her Jane) was very vocal and felt that anyone that got the Friday working at home was at an advantage as they wouldn’t have the travel time so, in her words, could go out early for the evening . This was quickly dismissed by our boss. Due to the short patterns, there was only actually Jane that could benefit if she got her shifts changed. She got very angry and said “well I might change my shifts to work full day Wed and Thurs and half day Friday so I can finish early on Friday then”. Our boss just laughed.

Last week we had a meeting. Boss wanted to confirm proposals for home working before he spoke to his boss. He gave everyone a home working day. When it got to Jane she was down to work half a day Friday in the morning. I raised my hand and asked how it would work because I would be the only admin person in the office for the afternoon. I explained that the phones are very busy and we always get an influx of last minute admin work before the weekend. I also asked what would happen if I was ill or had an important appointment as there would be no admin staff. My boss advised that he was okay to deal with this as it’s only an afternoon.

As the home working had not been agreed, I decided to wait to see what would happen next. Yesterday we were told that his boss did not agree to it. I thought, fine, that’s the end of it all. No home working, no problem.

Until today when this morning, I got an email from Jane, who was sat opposite me, to say her new shifts had been agreed with our boss and his boss. I just can’t understand the reasoning behind it so asked to speak to my boss. I advised again that I would struggle and explained that it meant that 3 admin staff would be in on Wednesday and only me on Friday afternoons. This balance doesn’t match the workload. I asked how I would be expected to manage this extra workload but he didn’t really answer. I asked what the business need was but he kept referring to a “possible” business need in some months to come. He basically could not give me an answer. We went round and round. I explained that I felt like I am being expected to pick up the work and if there was a real need, I would accept it, but I could see the benefit and he couldn’t provide me with a reason or what the plan was moving forward to help with this increase of workload. Basically, Janes shifts were changed because she shouted loud enough. Our boss is not exactly a great leader and he tries to avoid any kind of conflict.

This is not the only issue he has created in the office/team but I just felt completely dumped on. I was upset that he hadn’t spoken to me because it directly involves me. I was very upset that I got an email from a colleague that was sitting in front of me.

My boss got very defensive and tried saying that I should have tried harder to tell him there was a concern which I did in our meeting. He was raising his voice and became confrontational.

I got so upset that he said I could work from home so I went. His boss emailed me later to say she was sorry I was upset and that I can speak to her on Monday if I need to.

What shall I do? There have been a number of these types of incidents and today feels like the straw that broke the camels back. Jane messaged me to see where I was but I just can’t ring myself to get in touch. Please help?

I decided to take up the offer of speaking to the top boss. I asked her if we could meet and she agreed. However, the week went on and after asking 3 times and being told she was busy but would get around to it, I gave up! We were breaking up for the Easter holidays and I didn’t want to leave the issue for 2 weeks. I did explain this but it made no difference.
My colleague also got the email from Jane and asked to speak to me about it. She said she was 100% in agreement with me. She also has concerns and, although it doesn’t effect her as much, it will effect her if work isn’t being completed. I asked her if she would be willing to speak to our bosses boss with me but it was clear she didn’t want to. I did notice that she was in a meeting with our boss later that afternoon when I unexpectedly returned to the office. Maybe it was about the issue but she hasn’t spoken to me about it since.

I have spoken to my Union rep. She took details and advised me to log everything on my return to the office next week. She did say she would accompany me to any further meetings.

I have had time to consider my next steps and I still feel hurt and under valued. I know that Jane is very aware of the teams workload and that she is fully aware that changing her shifts would have a negative impact on me particularly. She is always very vocal about the amount of work we have, last minute jobs and the amount of calls we answer. She is always saying that Friday is a busy day and often leaves work for her job share to complete because she was too busy on a Friday. She knew exactly what she was doing and suddenly Friday isn’t that busy after all!

I am trying very hard to think she was just looking out for herself and that’s okay! But it’s not okay. I would never have done this to my teammates. I thought we had each others backs. That we respected each other but I have made a mistake and this makes me feel very stupid. My other colleague could have used this opportunity for us to band together and spoken out about it. After all, there is strength in numbers but she doesn’t want to upset Jane!

Anyways, Jane has tried to contact me a couple of times in the holidays. Once to ask if I am enjoying the break and another to ask me to join her and other colleagues for a drink. I have decided that I will remain professional for my own sake but I do not wish to have any contact outside of the office. I think I have learned a big lesson. So my plan is to go back to work, note any issues with the workload and to only discuss work. I think it’s call boundaries. I feel I have to distance myself for my own wellbeing. I think I may have to look for something else but I don’t want to jump ship too quickly until I have had a good think about things. This is one of many issues I have encountered in this job and I know it’s because our manager is not the best.

Any further advice or help??

Honestly, I think maybe you’re making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. It’s annoying the big boss hasn’t made time for you, but why don’t you just get on with it and see how Fridays work? If I was your manager, I’d be pretty annoyed that you were second guessing my decisions before even trying it. You might be right, and they need more cover on Fridays, but you might also be wrong. Presumably when you’re off for school holidays, things don’t grind to a halt? So it must work with fewer people, or others pick up the slack.

If I were you, I’d stop catastrophising and give it a go for a few weeks. If it’s too much, you can ask for support then.

The other stuff about the project and the drinks is just noise - put in boundaries if you want, but generally your working life will be easier if you have a better relationship with colleagues.

On a Friday you work your usual hours and speed. Anything not done is left until Monday then Monday stuff pushed back to Tuesday and so on.

Then the backlog of work will be put on Jane on a Wednesday morning - or at least a share of it surely?

On a Friday before you leave email your boss a list of all the outstanding work that will be pushed back to Monday.

Thanks. I agree and think I am overthinking it so appreciate your honest advice. I have gotten myself into such a state about it, it’s ridiculous. It has been on my mind constantly because I feel so angry. @Liquidity.

I don’t know why I am reacting like this. I think I feel like no one was willing to listen to concerns or offer any guidance. I also feel
like it was done for the wrong reasons and not communicated. I feel like I don’t matter.

I don’t care what my manager thinks to be honest. He made a decision that makes no business sense and which directly affects me and will more so in the near future. He did this without explanation or communication. I have every right to ask why that decision was made and to air my concerns in a professional manner which I did. I know the reason it was agreed and that was because he didn’t have the balls to say no to a colleague that feels she should get everything she demands. Otherwise she causes issues.

There is no one else doing the work. When we break for holidays the whole business shuts down. If I am totally honest, I do more than my share of work anyway and always have. I am an idiot and this will not be happening in future.

I explained that I felt like I am being expected to pick up the work and if there was a real need, I would accept it

You'd clearly handled it well up to this point, correctly focusing on the workload, but I'm afraid this was probably a mistake

Effectively you've just said you'll do it, so he's put this straight back on you to speak up if it doesn't work, when you'd already made it clear it won't

Certainly raise this with the more senior manager, but the real answer is to do only what you can by working at a sensible pace, reporting anything there isn't time for straight back to your immediate manager (with proof kept of course)

Edited to add I see you tried to speak to the senior manager and it didn't happen - not really surprising as this is what your more immediate manager's paid to do

As said, do what you can and no more and keep the reports of anything not done and the reason why

Are there any consequences if work is left over the weekend or the holidays if it comes in on a Friday?

@Puzzledandpissedoff thank you. I will make notes and maybe it won’t be as bad as I am thinking. It’s just the injustice of it all. I like fairness. I think we all like to feel we are being treated fairly and I certainly ensure I am fair with my colleagues. I am so disappointed that Jane took this decision knowing the result for me. She made it clear that she wanted to work Friday mornings so she could benefit from being at home in the afternoon, in case she was going away for the weekend. I never thought she would ask for it and even more shocked she got her wish on that reason alone.

I just can’t be bothering with some one like this. She makes out like everything she does is for the good of the team and has high standards for her colleagues. Always preaching about work morales. She didn’t even speak to me about the change in her shifts but instead sits opposite and emails me instead. Spouting about how we should all be happy that the holidays are approaching and, oh by the way, I have changed my shifts so you can pick up the extra work you sucker!

Sorry I am venting!!!!

Just take your experience somewhere else, it sounds like poor management and you sound conscientious. Jane sounds like an arse.

It’s just the injustice of it all. I like fairness

So do I, @Hereforthekickz, but what you've got there is someone thinking only of herself and a flaccid boss

You still did the right thing approaching this from a workload perspective though, and as said if it doesn't work out the only possible thing to do is hand it right back to him

@RandomMess Fridays and Mondays are notoriously busy. If I can’t answer the phone then we could end up with complaints. It’s important the phone is answered due to the nature of the business. The work coming in on a Friday is usually last minute, must be done now jobs. I will have no choice but to complete this.
We each have certain responsibilities on set days. These have had to be swapped around because Jane will not be in for the full day on Friday and I have to do this. That’s fine but it’s now added to my workload on a day when there is only me available.

Any work that I can’t finish will
pass to Monday when I am in and another colleague (the job share). We work together but look after different parts of the business. It’s a school so I look after certain years. It means that on a Friday I will be looking after my part of the school and my colleagues part of the school in the afternoon too. If I don’t finish a task for their part of the school, I will carry that onto Monday. It’s not like we all work on the same pot. It’s a clear split and responsibility.

So ask your line manager the plan for when you have too much work on a Friday and Monday? Who is going to complete the urgent work when you leave at X time and the same on Mondays.

At the end of the day, you can’t do the job for two people. It will get noted and they will need to have a rethink.

@LipikarAP thank you. I have never had any problems with work until I started working in schools. I did this so I could have a better work/life balance for my family. I wish I had never made the decision.

My boss is fine as long as he doesn’t have to make any decisions or communicate anything. There have been a number of things that have happened that have not been right over the years.

@Puzzledandpissedoff I am such a stickler for fairness. I am an honest person and am always thinking about others. Too much so I think. I am a very conscientious worker. I have put up with a lot in this job. Having to give a task back because my boss wouldn’t deal with an incompetent co worker which resulted in me not being able to do my part of the task. I begged for him to help and got stressed but he didn’t do anything. Then he offered me another, higher paid role only to take this away that afternoon because he had decided to set on externally. I had only been back at work 2 days as I have been off due to bereavement.

Its no wonder I feel
like I do now. The straw that broke the camels back!

After your update that you work for different year groups, i wouldn't do any work for the other year groups, i would answer the phone and take a message and pass to colleague on a monday. Same as i would if someone who usually works on something i don't is on leave.

But will you?

If you're on the phone to someone you can't deal with someone else!

Won't they notice this is a problem?

And can the job actually be done from home anyway? What is his reasoning for the change?

Do you think Jane proposed it in the first place?

@RandomMess I did ask all these questions and he didn’t answer them. He just kept saying that I should have raised my concerns sooner but I did raise my concerns, in a meeting we had before he agreed the shift change. So did my colleague. Everytime I asked what would be put in place to help me with the extra workload he kept saying that in September the student numbers will rise significantly, which we are aware of. He feels that it’s better to have 3 members of staff in all day in a Wednesday. When I asked where that leaves me on a Friday, on my own with more students, he started to get very defensive and was repeating my name over and over whilst I was speaking and saying I should have made him aware of my concerns before now. I just couldn’t get a professional answer. I was being very professional and only focusing on the work.

@Nanny0gg sorry not sure I fully understand your question? I guess I can’t do 2 things at once. I just feel
like it’s me that’s going to be getting anxious because the phone will be ringing and people will be wanting things doing etc.

We don’t work from home. Our top boss won’t allow it. There was talk of this happening and this is when Jane caused a bit of a stir in the office. She said it was unfair that anyone should work from home on a Friday. It actually didn’t benefit anyone anyway but that’s by the by. She then joked and said”well maybe I will just change my shifts and it can benefit me”!

No one took it too seriously and the top boss didn’t agree working from home anyway so that was the end of that! But unbeknown to us, she had asked for it and our boss had agreed it anyway, despite there being no business need.

Also to add, unfortunately the culture created in the office is that it is normal that work gets dumped on us last minute. It has been the subject of many heated discussions. Work that should have a deadline and a process is often left to the last hour and doesn’t conform to any process or procedure. The work takes twice as long because it’s all wrong. There are numerous unnecessary distractions making it difficult even with 2 staff members on duty.

Sorry to go on. I do feel better for getting that off my chest 😤

Just put in writing now that on a Friday you well let him now what jobs are outstanding at the end of each day. Prioritise the year groups you cover.

Then follow through or if you are as stressed as you sound you may need end up off sick with stress.

If I can’t answer the phone then we could end up with complaints. It’s important the phone is answered due to the nature of the business. The work coming in on a Friday is usually last minute, must be done now jobs. I will have no choice but to complete this.

Do what you can do, if things can't be completed because you are on your own or if there are complaints because you are on your own then so be it, that's for your manager to manage

There’s always a fricking Jane and I always fricking hate them!!

She’s a selfish manipulative cow OP and your boss is a wimp. I hope you have the meeting with the union rep next week and the big boss sees how absurd the arrangement is. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jane flounces off if so, fingers crossed.

@FrogTheWarrior thanks for this. It’s just what I needed to hear 🤪

I can’t believe it took me so long to realise what she is like. She made me laugh in the meeting and I thought she was acting oddly. When the boss announced what days we were working from home (come to think of it that was all very odd as the top boss hadn’t approved the working from home arrangement yet)!! He said “and Jane will be working Friday morning”. When I looked across at her, she was pouting and leaning back in her chair. My colleague said to her “isn’t that a really busy day to have one person on duty” to which she replied, very noncommittal “no, I don’t think so”!! I nearly choked!!!

So yes, I have just discovered the real Jane and what an absolute arse hole she is! No wonder she brought cake in for the boss after the announcement was made. I kid you not! No one else got a slice of cake but the wimpy, deck of a boss got a big, fat slice!!!! 🤣

Sorry to hear about the bereavement, OP

To be frank this workplace sounds thoroughly disorganised; yes there are "rush jobs" everywhere occasionally, but if it's happening regularly that's a management issue

So is handling the stress of sorting it out, so please don't ever feel you have to take this on yourself - and if you still get nowhere, consider taking your skills somewhere they'll be appreciated

I think you’re massively overreacting. It’s just one afternoon. You’ll be able to manage for a few hours. I bet you’ve managed when one has been off sick?

Is it envy making you feel this upset about it?