TO BE PISSED OFF AT DP FOR BLAMING ME FOR EVERY ARGUMENT SINCE I STARTED MY ANTI DEPRESSANTS ???

[sicktothebackfrigginteeth]

It just seems that the blame can now be solely on my shoulders because i am on anti dpressants!!!! i have been on them since october 20mg of citalopram and i have namechanged because even though i am not ashamed it has been a private matter for me.
I just feel that i am used as a scapegoat by him...if he has genuinely done something to piss me off and i say something to him he asks if i have taken my tablet....i am rambling i know but he is just pissing me right off

That is seriously annoying, yanbu. He should take responsibility for his own behaviour.

i completely sympaphise with you my dp does the same with me although not on ad have border line depression being monitored dp always makes things my fault

he wouldnt have done this if it wasnt for me doing this he didnt start it all in my head really drives me nuts

try your best to rise above it and concentrate on looking after yourself it is hard to hear it every single day though

i know for a fact that if i wasnt depressed or being treated for it, i would pull him up on some of the things he does. It's really easy for him to try and belittle me by saying...you obviously havent took your happy pill today WHAT THE FUCK...my argument is who says that when they are supposed to be supporting their dp through an emotional time.
It wasn't easy for me to go and get help and now he uses it as his ammo...fucking ridiculous

i know dp told me to go to doctors after ds was born as had really bad anxiety and was diagnosed then as border line and doctor told me to tell him with tlc i should be ok but support is needed

and then all the time thrown in my face how much i changed blah blah blah he does not know how to support told me many times doesnt know what to do

so tends to be mean as it frustrates him

im much better now still have bad days and i dont i know it as even if i have it under control i'll be to blamefor everything

next time he mentions happy pills throw the pack at him and say i think the wrong person was given them

lol i may well do that.... i was really low a couple of weeks ago and couldn't for the life of me do anything...i couldnt get dressed, have a bath cook...nothing. I just sat there crying most of the time and he was really caring and helpful, he has seen first hand what happens when im not doing too well. so for him to do this makes me feel very hurt. He doesnt realise how his behaviour affects me, utter prick sometimes

arent all men could he be feeling run down? i know men tend to bottle up how they feel and maybe doesnt want you to worry about his feeling in fear of added pressure

i always know as much as i hate dp attitude its always because something going on with him that he doesnt feel i want to be bothered with

but i tell him i would much rather him talk to me about it than take it out on me

he works hard and is tired at the moment, but i still dont feel that it is any excuse for him to speak to me the way he does when it comes to my depression. I just feel that he totally forgets how hard it was for me to go to the doctors and deal it. My depression isnt just stemming from recent things...7 years of stuf have contributed to the fact that i am on anti depressants, and i am actually starting to feel happy in myself, so for him to throw it in my face is very hurtful

i agree but men dont think before they speak try and do nice dinner and try to just ask how he is and gently broach how you feel things are at moment and how you would like tom pull together and have his understanding as it would help speed up your recovery

men just react like this i dont know why but i think we all ahve near identical stories when it comes to a man and handling problems just trey and set romantic evening of just cuddles and talking good luck

i have just sent him a text

"you're shitty mood has made me feel like crap....i dont think you realise how your emotions affect mine PRICK toodles for now as i must take my happy pill"
i know its petty but it made me chuckle

lol well im sure thats set the mood for romance lol

maybe in few mins text back and say your sorry but his moods affecting how you feel you just want to get on and support each other you know it must be hard for him but you appreciate all he does and you want a cuddly evening it works ive done it many times its very easy to get caught up in how there moods affects us but ours must affect theres also

try and have a good relaxing evening if you can wee all allowed bad days and try and nicely say you'll accept this as a bad day but fro now you want support and you'll support him also

"Have you taken your tablets" is a frequent phrase around here - for any emotions being displayed. The professionals I see even use it, as do some of my friends. Don't let it push you in to thinking you have no right to feel whatever you feel. I would try and sit down and talk to your DP, and ditch the text conversation. It kind of works with mine.

he has just rung me asking what the text was all about...i told him it needed little explanation...he is acting all sheepish now trying to be nice, but until i get an apology he can get shagged

bubbla i do my best to support him...the fact is that i was having a really good day today and have tried my best not to let his mood drag me down, but he succeeded around 6.20pm just before he set off to work. I sent the text because i know if i had rung him i would have ended up shouting at him

It's obviously your tablets.

Did you not know that the inability to tolerate muppity behavior is a common side effect of ADs.

DP used to blame all our arguments on MY PND - he was quite supportive when I was really down, BUT when I started getting better I started challenging his attitude and behavior, as he did need to make adjustments and changes in his (up to that point) bachelor lifestyle (even spent nearly £1000 of our money on boys toys WITHOUT EVEN ASKING OR TELLING ME while whining about having no money...when bubs was small)

He found the adjustment from having a very teary, struggling with life, dependent BUT easily manipulated (due to her condition) wifey to having ME back quite difficult and said all sorts of stupid, undermining and insensitive things.

It should get better - it sounds like you've both been through the mill and NO ONE asks to get ill, which is what depression is. And it's not an excuse, but he's probably quite tired too.

KWYM about having a good day ruined! Try not to let it spoil your good day today - focus on YOUR good day

And no, YANBU to be a bit bored with this as a standard view point to any disagreement!

ohhhhhhhhhh, don't get me started!!! I thought it was just me. I get the whole "have you taken your tablets" if i show the slightest sign of stress (ive got a two year old, we are skint - stress comes with the teritory), oh and if im having a go at him for something he has done "take another tablet", or even worse "i think you should go back to the doctors and ask for a higher dose" Well, i'm already on the highest dose i can have, twunt face . He treats it like a joke sometimes, it is infuriating, we went through two years of hell with my PND/anxiety/general depression, before i got help - so of course, all the shit that has happened in the past few years was because i was depressed - FFS!! talk about chicken and the egg!!! He totally does not understand my illness and i often feel completely let down by it. I love him dearly, and know he loves me, but WTF - its not my fault i got sick and it certainly isnt a flaw in my personality - There!! Thats another rant off my chest. Sorry for the hijack

bloody men!

ok outing myself as cannot be arsed with the incognito shit....lucyellens mum rant all you want love....i feel the exact same way, dp is supportive of me when i am showing signs of distress, but i feel that he uses it as ammunition against. I am going to take him to the doctors with me on monday and im going to ask the gp to try and give dp an insight into my illness....that i'm not using it as an excuse and that i wish i wasnt fucking depressed...like i asked for it. i feel that he needs to understand depression more that way he will realise how hurtful it is for me to be blamed for everything because im a "nut job"

dump him!

I'm not on ADs but my charming ex used to suggest that I should go on them when we had a row since he reckoned that I was unbalanced, because of course, arguing is solely a sign of immiment madness instead of a healthy relationship .

You have my sympathies .

lol pinkyp i know that he can be an utter shit but i dont want to leave him....i just want him to understand what i go through

"nut job" "fruit loop" "psycho".......just a few of the things i get called, oh but its only a joke

yeah "i only say it cos it annoys you" oh well thanks for that you utter nob jockey

Have to add that my ex had to go on ADs as he suffered from stress for a time. He kept the tablets when he stopped taking them but to make the point that I was the problem, he used to take one if we had a row. Fantastic misuse there.