When someone posts a photo of you that’s just horrible

[Igglepigglewriggled]

I have just had this.

A really important meeting where if the photo had been decent I could have used it myself but it was just awful. I have just had this.

I was totally unaware because it was essentially my meeting so I was concentrating on what needed to be done.

I know the person who took it and he tried to explain it away, that it wasn’t that bad, but I had three million chins and a hunchback. He even tried to flatter and flirt his way out of it - always looked great and couldn’t take a bad photos. Please don’t get me wrong, I know I am no stunner but you know when something is particularly horrible.

It’s just so annoying. Why do people do it?! I would never dream of taking such a horrible photo and posting. I would just wait until something was slightly useable at least.

Horrible isn’t it. It says much more about the photo taker than you - they must be very insecure to make themselves feel better by posting unflattering photos of others.

It is horrible but I don't know why you'd assume that a man would feel better by posting an unflattering photo of a woman

Some people just genuinely don't see others in the same way that they do

Totally not unreasonable to be upset

YANBU to be upset by it, I think most people would be.

I'm not really sure what else he could have done though, what if he didn't use it and you asked why, he'd have to say "you didn't look good in it" which would surely be worse. Whether it's "slightly useable" or not is not his judgement call either, you might have hated it whatever he decided to post.

Always a possibility that you genuinely didn't look bad and he meant what he said. Just saying. I know it's a different situation but my DP's favourite pictures of me are usually the ones I hate. He sees a naturally happy smile or laugh, I just see wonky teeth, wrinkles and mad eyes.

This is a work context and I'm guessing he'd been asked to take pictures? Very difficult if you're in a meeting trying to juggle what you have to do in the meeting with grabbing some photos - you want to get them over with so you can get back to concentrating, you can't wait for everyone to be in a flattering pose.

If it doesn't represent how you really look, everyone will know that - the camera can 'lie' in both directions, i.e. flattering and unflattering.

If I was posting a photo for work, I honestly would not be considering if it was a flattering shot of every person.

People only look at themselves in photos

I can’t post it cos it’s outing and I know the focus of the photo was the person next to me but it’s one of those things where you go why? And the meeting wasn’t quick. It’s not like he won’t have taken a look to check he hadn’t missed out his head or something. He could have easily found a time to take another.

No he hadn’t been asked to take photos. He was in the meeting.

Why was he taking photos unasked? Where were they being used afterwards - on your intranet?

If its a photo of just you or you and 1 other person it is a bit weird. But if its a group shot or you are in the background and they are supposed to be candid, it's fine. It's not like he can check that everybody likes how they look.

And I was next to the person. It was perfectly reasonable that as the person running the meeting I might want to use something myself. But anyway. Hey ho. I need to be more self aware.

He was taking photos of cos who it was. Nope it’s out there publicly.

Why was someone taking a photo and posting it of a meeting if he wasn't asked to ? That's weird in itself.

If he was trying to just get the person beside you then tell him to remove the photo and crop you out and that you don't appreciate your photo being posted.

And tell the strange man that it's not normal to go around taking sneaky photos of people in meetings.

Doubt very much that's the reason.. he probably just didn't even think or notice
Not nice though

As pp said, ask him to crop you out or blur you.

YANBU
I know how you feel, I had a similar situation where I'd already said in a group chat that I hated a particular photo, It was really unflattering. One of the group posted it on social media and I had to ask them to take it down. As PP has said we only really look at oursleves in pictures but I really questioned if that's how I look to other people? Also I couldn't understand why they posted it when I had already stated how I felt about it? I was on the end so did say to crop me out if they really wanted it online.