Breastfeeding - cold turkey 13 month old tips

[AmeliaHay]

My 2nd son is 13 month and exclusively breastfed, but the frequent waking for boob is killing me now. I am permanently exhausted from it, because he always wants to boob back to sleep, and if I try other methods he just cries and cries. I feel we've got to the point that he is forcing me to have to just end our breastfeeding journey completely because I'm getting angry at him for waking / wanting boob all through the night, which is then making me feel guilty for getting so frustrated with him, because I'm so tired. I'm sad to have to stop, because it's such a wonderful bond and I love feeding him (just not up to 10 times a night!) and I also know we're not having another baby, so I'll never do this again, so I know it's going to me difficult to stop - for us both. I went cold turkey with my 1st who was exactly the same when he was 16 months but I can't remember how I did it. Would you just say "it's all gone" this morning, and just stick with that until he stops asking? :(

We are co sleeping, which I love and embrace it, our eldest is 4 and it's mad how quick the time goes, so I have no intention of rushing him out of our bed. He doesn't snore, or sleep with mouth open, or sweat, no sign of allergies or anything. I'm gonna sleep on it tonight, they say don't quit breastfeeding on a bad day don't they... I would like to ideally feed at bedtime, and morning, and just night wean. Least then it's a slowet weaning process, I'm jusy not confident I can do that without thinking I'm confusing him or being cruel.

I'm jusy not confident I can do that without thinking I'm confusing him or being cruel.

That's what I did with my DS and it was fine. No confusion.

Lots of other posters are saying the same.

Has the sleep consultation got and BFing Qualifications?

I suspect not if she's giving out dodgy advice like this.

I would ring one of the BFing Helplines and talk through your plans with a BFC

This is kinder than cold turkey in my opinion. As others have said it is actually likely that it is a helpful or healthy approach because it teaches that you have boundaries but that doesn’t mean the breastfeeding relationship is ending completely. By having the boundaries you need/want you are teaching your child that it is okay for him to have boundaries as well and to respect the boundaries of others.

It is actually a very common, “normal” way of gently weaning. The bedtime and morning feeds are the last to be dropped for the vast majority of children. Lots of mums night wean first, when they feel their need for sleep is outweighing the child’s needs for night feeds.

Breastfeeding in the morning can be a lovely reconnection after the night of (hopefully) sleeping, bedtime breastfeeding can be relaxing and soothing and perhaps lead to better quality sleep for both mum and baby.

If night weaning and doing bedtime and morning is what you want to do then go for it, I imagine that if you could discuss it rationally with your child he would find it a preferable solution to going cold turkey.

I have heard of lots of techniques for this a popular one is saying we will breastfeed again when the sun comes up. Calling a breastfeeding helpline or going to a breastfeeding group you would probably hear lots of ideas.

Morning! So I decided to feed him ti sleep at bedtime last night, 7pm. He woke at 11pm so i gave a beaker with milk, he cried but not hysterically. I said milkied were asleep. Woke again 1am ish and was breaking his heart, pointing at my boobs, he cried for a good 30 mins :( again i said milikies was asleep, he fell asleep with a cuddle. 4am,third wake, but this wake was more of a whingey cry not too upset, and he was blabbing in between crying. He then woke at 6am and i said milikies are awake and gave him a feed. Is this ok? I want to carry on day feeds, and then eventually just do bedtime and morning, but want to stop nights, will this work and is it fair to him? How long will it take do you think?

That sounds much less traumatic than cold turkey!

I think the advisor who said they don't understand only feeding sometimes is a nitwit. Of course they do, just as they understand the difference between breakfast and dinner!

If I were you and you only want to feed at waking and bedtime - just do that, and be determined enough to see it out for a week even in the face of protest, then it'll be your routine.

I think the advisor who said they don't understand only feeding sometimes is a nitwit

Nitwit is so underused but yet so fitting in this context

Take something like lempsip to help dry up your milk at the same time so you dont get mastitis

Nitwit 😂
Well he's still awake atm tonight as he's had more naps today (could be tired from the upset during the night or a bit of a temp as his older brother is poorly). He's had a bath, pjs, story, and feed in bed but wasn't ready for sleep so husband has him downstairs whilst i see to his poorly brother. Really hope he's not coming down with this bug too as it'll feel so much harder saying no if he's poorly 😢 but my plan is not to feed now until 6am at least

BFing aside, I don't think it's advised to sleep train any baby if they're unwell?

When I weaned both of my DS off breast milk, I gradually phased out the day feeds first, then it was easy to end the night feeding because they were used to not getting bf by then. If you want to keep the day feeds I think you might struggle giving up the nights as that's when baby needs the most comfort and you share the same bed so the milk is always there. Imagine getting into bed with your favourite food in the whole world but you can't touch it!

If he’s ill you might want to feed him through the night until he’s better and then begin again. Poorly toddlers often want to feed more both for comfort because they feel so wretched and because mother’s milk is medicine as well as the most easily digested and nutritionally complete food. He is more likely to tolerate it with less upset when he feels well.

Yes I agree, if he's poorly I'll stop, but he was ok in the night after calpol at 11pm. He only protested once last night, at about 3am, which was tough because he was upset for about 30 minutes, but I kept telling myself if I give in now he's cried for nothing and he'll learn that protesting will make me give in, he eventually went back to sleep with a cuddle and I fed him when he woke for the day at 6:30 x

Another great result

Yes I think what you're doing is fine :)

Well there were a fair few wakes last night, but hardly any crying, I haf to feed him at 4am though, my breast was so full and pump wasn't charged, but he still came off before falling asleep, so definitely progress!

Of course it's ok 🙂 there is so much access to "advice" these days, I think going your own path with your own baby and doing what works for you both is absolutely fine

Go away for a few days. Only way

@fuckthemail yes I agree. @whatwhatwhot couldn't disagree more.