To wonder if dyspraxia is the answer?

[Slavetotherave1]

Long post alert - sorry.

DS is 5.5

He was a bit on the late side with most major milestones - sat up at 8/9 months, crawled at 11 months, walked 17 months, pointed at 18 months, talking at 2 years plus. That said, his speech is excellent now and developed very quickly once it started. Now has perfect functional speech and holds excellent back and forth conversation. No real concerns there other than he does like to whisper to himself at times, although it doesn’t seem echolalic or anything like that, more like he’s thinking out loud at times/processing rather than communication.

He is resistant to physical activity, has to be pushed/encouraged to partake. That said, he can ride a bike and scooter fairly competently but he had his bike for over a year before he would get on the blooofy thing despite having mastered the skill. We were at the stage of telling him we’d get rid of it before he decided he wanted to ride it after all 🙈 He is really struggling with swimming and seems to be making VERY slow progress but he is making progress. Very reluctant to lose the armbands though. He was overly cautious as a child at things like soft play, very risk averse. He has no interest in drawing, colouring, craft but will do so if pushed. He is behind with his fine motor skills, particularly with handwriting and pencil grip - this has been highlighted by his reception teacher as he has large messy writing and struggles with using scissors etc. However he is good at Lego and can have fairly good dexterity with this. He is a very messy eater and struggles with using cutlery - he still uses only a fork and spoon and we cut up his food for him. He is left handed (we think) but there is ongoing uncertainty over his hand dominance. He has poor short term memory and lack of ability to follow instructions at times (very easily distracted) but his long term memory is amazing. He fidgets constantly (mostly jiggling his legs) and always seems to need to fiddle with something. He cannot resist picking something up if he’s sat down, even if told to leave it alone. He can be clumsy, often knocking over drinks/dropping things and I often notice bruises on his legs which he doesn’t know how he got. He is full of energy at times and runs and jumps and throws himself at the sofa, particularly when excited or watching tv - I don’t then this is a stim or a tic as he’s aware he’s doing it and is happy to converse with me while doing it and is easily distracted from it. But could perhaps be explainer as sensory seeking? He struggles a little socially, and seems better in smaller groups. That said, he loves going to parties etc but he does seem happier playing with 1 or 2 children than in large groups. He has a best friend at school and he can be a bit controlling/bossy over what they do/play. He is probably more confident talking to adults but he will chat happily to other kids once he’s warmed up a bit/given encouragement. There’s probably more but these are the things that spring to mind.

He is very happy though, he’s confident and he really enjoys school. Very kind and empathetic little boy. No issues with food (he’s an amazing eater and will tuck into all sorts), sleeps well, and doesn’t appear to have sensory issues with anything although he did like looking at lights as a baby/young toddler 🤷‍♀️ He’s fine with transitions and doesn’t have any difficulty around routines or repetitive behaviour etc. He enjoys parties, loud/busy places and doing new things/meeting people, nothing like that seems to phase him, in fact he embraces it. I wouldn’t say he has any obsessional interests although he likes trains, planes, cars and Spider-Man and likes reading books about them.

I’m so aware that a lot of these things can just be normal for a boy of his age but bearing in mind he had some delays in his early milestones does anyone think dyspraxia could be the answer? I would really appreciate any input or advice. TIA x

I would not get too hung up at this stage on whether it is or isn't officially dyspraxia but try to get OT help/advice for the things he seems to have difficultly with. If he struggles with handwriting then school will become increasingly hard and being good at Lego doesn't change that for him.

He sounds very like my son who was diagnosed with ASD and dyspraxia just before secondary school.
Keep a note of all the things you've noticed would be my advice. I would then just wait and see how he goes because he is unlikely to get any specific support for the things you've mentioned so don't stress about early diagnosis. Mine was diagnosed at 10 and wasn't offered any sort of support for either ASD or dyspraxia.

I think you should consider ADHD.

Dyspraxia commonly goes hand in hand with adhd.

TBH, but it doesn't sound like it to me, he sounds pretty standard.

To contrast DS is dyspraxic, he couldn't feed himself (and even now at 13 is ham-fisted, and errs on the side of stuffing in as few, enormous, mouthfuls as possible). He learned to scoot his scooter at 4, and needed more help and supervision than his 1 year old brother who learned at the same time, and only learned to ride a bike at 12 last year. Shoe-laces I've given up even trying.

He always hated swings and slides - far too scary for a kid who can't balance.

Basically, compared to his little brother, who isn't dyspraxic, he is about 3-6 years behind on anything requiring co-ordination, and he gets to about 80% of the skill level.

And that's after a fair bit of OT and at-home practise.

Imo reception age is still pretty early for swimming.
Dc1 was only on stage 3 at 7. And cycling at 6.

It maybe he is just hypermobile.

With writing he is only half way through reception...

Hello! I’m your friendly neighbourhood dyspraxic person 👋🏻

It’s certainly possible your son could have dyspraxia. Equally he might just be, y’know, five - all kids have different strengths and weaknesses. Some of the things you describe are a lot like me at five (some of them are a lot like me at 48 to be honest) and some of them are a lot like most kids at five.

Most people with dyspraxia will not have every single trait on the checklist - for example, I have pretty good fine motor skills, but I can’t swim or drive. People will often confidently say things like “He wouldn’t be able to do X and Y if he was dyspraxic” or “My child is dyspraxic and still can’t tie his shoelaces at 17” but it simply doesn’t work like that. Like a lot of neurodivergent conditions, it’s a spectrum disorder.

If your son is at a point where he’s getting frustrated, angry or embarrassed at the things he can’t do, or it’s affecting his self-esteem, or he’s being held back from progressing academically because of things like organisation or handwriting, then I would definitely seek an assessment for him.

My son was very similar when younger. He was referred twice to occupational therapy and under the paedatrition, also under behavioural optomotrist all in primary. He coordination was poor, handrwiting very laboured, had specialist handrwitting sessions offered by OT, I could list endless sympoms. Anyway, we were told not deffinitive enough for dyspraxia in his case but almost certainly ADHD and was referred on. I ran a bit scared at this point, this was 12 year ago and didn't really want a label to define him (maybeI was a bit misguided). Instead we focused on what we could do to help him not what he couldn't do. He learnt to touch type (had a scribe for sats in primary school who suddenly realised he was far brighter than they realised when he scored really high marks - easy for him with someone writing for him, he just couldn't get it on the paper) and has done all exams on a laptop through high school, college and will also do so at uni. We encouraged him to try many different sports and (at times very uncoordinated in his efforts), he is now at 18 much more coordinated, no doubt it's taken him a lot more effort to be so that some. Its built in some resiliance to not give up. Now at uni with independednt study and away from home, he has floundered a little so finally got an official diagnosis of ADHD, dyslexia and dysgraphia, I had to push him to do so as he was relecuant. Doenslt really change much apart from a little extra support through uni.
Your son could have enything, no one on the internet can diagnose. I expect waiting lists are high for asessments and referrals these days as awareness has raised. If you have concerns flag them and get a referal and decide where you go from there.

I have also wondered about adhd but he doesn’t seem hyperactive enough, and he is fairly well behaved most of the time, even if he does find it tricky at times to follow instructions but I wonder if that’s more due to poor listening than anything else. The fidgeting and sensory seeking behavior we see at home could be explained by this I suppose but again, I’m not sure if it’s significant enough to affect him in any meaningful way.

I’ve just responded to your message above as well, I’m just not sure he ticks enough boxes for adhd as well but what do I know?

My daughter is 10 so I'm seeking a diagnosis now. She's regressed in a lot of activities like cycling. Can self refer in my area to occupational therapy. Wait here 6 months approx

Similarly I’ve also wondered about ASD at times but as his communication skills are so strong and he doesn’t appear to have any restrictive or repetitive behaviours or sensory issues, I also think this is a bit unlikely too. The only thing that concerns me a bit on this is the social side but then he is social given the right set of circumstances and he is also a hearing aid user which would certainly help to explain his preference for socializing in small groups. But again, really, what do I know?

He sounds very similar to my DC of the same age. The only differences is that she can swim now (but she's been having lessons for two years!), she can't confidently ride a bike yet (not had much practice though due to how poor the weather has been over the past YEAR!), she was clearly left handed from being a toddler. Ime most people who are left handed have some additional difficulties with things like handwriting when they're young. It makes sense because all of learning is set up for right handed people and if you're left handed you can't as easily see what you've wrote up to that point/the word you're copying could be behind your hand and so on. So I think DD is just a bit slow with the handwriting aspect due to that. Certainly the teacher has never expressed any concerns so I'm not concerned either.

I'm autistic and my motor skills are poor as a result. Worse than DD's tbh with the exception of hand writing.

Sounds a bit like my son. He was a lefty, talked early, no trouble walking. Struggles to write legibly, OT didn't help much. Had trouble learning to bike and swim. Messy. Very messy. Had difficulty following complex oral directions. No time sense. Found learning to drive difficult. Weirdly good at some things, though, including martial arts and dance. Physically cautious; not impulsive. Ended up with diagnosis of dyspraxia at age 17. Doing great, honor student at uni now.

There's a preconception about adhd that hyperactivity is only physical and must be constant.

Hyperactivity can also be fidgeting, fiddling with stuff, impulsivity, the behaviour you say about him throwing himself on the sofa (stims aren't always done unconsciously - I'm often very aware that I'm stimming) racing thoughts that you can't shut off, talking too much or too fast, easily distracted - i have inattentive adhd where my hyperactivity is mostly internalised. Outwardly I'm very much a couch potato. The things that you describe that also describe me and my children: is easily distracted, struggles in social situations, but can be very outgoing in the right circumstances, tendency to anxiety, fidgety, impulsive, he can focus on the things he finds interesting but struggles to follow instructions for routine tasks (because they are boring) poor short term memory, having to ask him 5 times to get dressed, appearing to be lazy. The other points - empathetic, kind, caring, creative, are for me the upsides to our adhd.

One of mine has similar issues with fine motor skills and unexplained bruises from constantly knocking into things. I thinks hes dyspraxic. I think I'm dyspraxic too, i struggle with the mental side of dyspraxia. Lots of these things go hand in hand.

I'm not trying to diagnose your son but id really have a look at adhd, see if it might look familiar.

Sounds a thing of my DS7 who is now 7. On waiting list school querying dyspraxia and ADHD.

Hes a delightful little boy and has literally never had a tantrum but I am 99% sure that major signs of both can be seen in myself and it can be rather frustrating to parent. He can ride a scooter , not there with bike which is difficult because he's too tall for stabilisers. Swimming has been a disaster and we are taking a break for the minute. He's so overstimulated in the pool environment he cannot follow instructions at all and it can be very distracting for the other kids...I'm waiting a place for 1:1 lessons. Can't use cutlery consistently, his DB 3 years younger will. Still needs a teatowel covering clean clothes and completely unaware of face being dirty. He is very distracted all the time so following more than one instruction at a time is impossible. We have seen major improvements in handwriting.
He is exceptionally smart, great reader and so curious and his memory for facts is exceptional. I just think he is supposed to be a slightly eccentric academic!

i am dyspraxic. Never crawled as a baby. Shuffled on bum. Then one day stood up and walked the length of the house without stopping.

I can’t swim, ride a bike and was shit at PE.

Im also dyslexic. Had a stutter.

Well this was an eye opening read as everything you have listed sound exactly like DS. I hope I haven’t offended with my obvious lack of understanding of adhd, because he isn’t one the ‘boisterous’ boys scrapping and being full on hyper 24/7 I has thought that it was ruled out but based on your experiences, perhaps not! 🤔

My daughter was diagnosed at 6, I started the process at just turned 5.

She is / was very messy
She could fall over thin air
Bruises all over legs
Could not follow instructions
Sensory issue around textures
Sensory issues with clothing
Brain live a sieve
Didn't seem to take onboard anything you told her - agreed with you but went straight out her head.
Issues with cutlery and writing

This is what l was coming on to say. An Occupational Therapist will give you great advice and suggestions on how to support him. As a primary teacher l have seen children really improve with the help of an OT. Also look up ideas online on how to improve his fine motor skills. The OT will also advise on when is a good time to seek a diagnosis.
My ds has some similar difficulties coming..l believe..from quite a forceful forceps delivery at birth. How was your ds's delivery? So many times ..as a teacher..l have parents describing a difficult birth when their children have these struggles.

This sounds very much like both my DS's - both have diagnosis of dyspraxia. Schools don't offer much help with this IME, but it can help to have a diagnosis in order to be able to access a laptop instead of handwriting everything, and getting teachers to cut them some slack with the constant fidgeting. If you ask the school to refer him to a paediatrician, or ask them to give you a letter to take to your GP, you might get a diagnosis in about 3 years' time (based on our experience), so it's worth getting a move on!

Not at all! I thought adhd was something that only affected hyperactive little boys... Until i was diagnosed with it and finally had a name to put to all my quirks!

Yes me too. I mean, there were boys DS was at preschool with and is at school with now that I would have put money on having adhd in some form but never DS. Probably because he was so risk averse as a younger child and still to this day isn’t the loudest, fastest, most talkative, most physical, most out of control etc of a lot of his peers. He doesn’t have meltdowns or real tantrums either which I thought was a key part of adhd, he gets a bit emotional at times but usually when he is really over tired. But I suppose with any of these things, it’s called a spectrum for a reason.

It can get more apparent as children get older and more demands are placed on them. Mine are 7 now and they are getting far worse in terms of meltdowns as school gets harder and they're expected to keep up.

A lot of adults are being diagnosed with inattentive adhd because until very very recently, only the stereotypical, outwardly hyperactive adhd was recognised, and many people don't fit that profile - women in particular are being diagnosed in record numbers - not because it's trendy but because the diagnostic criteria simply didn't include the ways it presents in women until the last few years!

Also could be describing my son completely, although he can’t ride a bike. Makes me think there’s a spectrum and this is more normal than one might think

It’s definitely a spectrum. I am undiagnosed but, when my oldest son was being diagnosed with autism, l realised that the symptoms for dyspraxia fitted me perfectly, although it is mild for me, I think. As a baby, I started talking at six months but couldn’t walk until I was seventeen months old. As far as I know, I didn’t have any problems using cutlery and I learned to pedal and ride a bike at the usual age. I can remember not being able to draw and finding pencil and scissors activities horrendously difficult. I started school at nearly five and found reading, spelling and maths very easy but writing was another thing altogether - my writing was at least two years behind my reading and normally reading and writing abilities go hand in hand. I was sixteen before I could write neatly and to this day I find long periods of handwriting tiring. Since discovering triangular pencils and thick pens, I have found writing easier. I can still remember struggling to write the number eight as a 5 1/2 year old, yet at the same age I could read anything and spell words like actually. My artistic skills never improved and as for PE - the least said about that the better. Has your son decided which hand he favours yet? I write with my right hand, but do many other things (including typing on the iPad) with my left hand. I am also lett leg and eye dominant. A little while ago, I asked my mother if I was very undecided as to which hand I was going to use. She replied that she thought I probably was but “of course we encouraged the right hand.” This was still very much the thinking in the late sixties. I think if I had been allowed to wait longer, I would probably have chosen my left hand. This probably accounted for a lot of the problems I had with writing. However, it is not all bad news. I learned to drive, albeit quite late and passed my test in a manual car. However, I much prefer the automatic car l now have. I am also a professional musician and my instruments are piano, violin and viola. I can also play the organ well enough for church services. I started school in September 1969 and left in 1983 after A levels. In those days, knowledge of specific learning differences was very much in its infancy, especially if the child was academically bright. These days, there is much more understanding and help available. I have had a good life and done well, but I would very much have benefited from extra time in exams. I think that for your son, a watchful eye from you and his teacher is probably the best thing at the moment, but I would also be noting down any difficulties you notice so that if it becomes apparent that his quirks are more than those in other boys and you go through the diagnosis process, you will be able to have written evidence to show the professionals as well as something to jog your memory.