For feeling left out

[Lilllypad11]

The company director was offering out tokens of appreciation today as we close for 4 days. Usually in the last 3 years I’ve always received a note on my desk to say “well done and thanks for all your hard work” I’ve always always got one. I keep hold of them in my work drawer as a reminder for the difficult days.

This time, I didn’t get one but my other 2 people in the department did. And so did a few others. I was more upset about this than I realised, I came home crying. I’ve tried my level best lately and I took a few more things on lately too and I’ve been doing my best to get it all right.

One of the other men in the team said he got nothing either but said “you’ve been here longer though so I understand why you’re upset about it”
I don’t know if I’ve offended the director some how or if I’ve done something to someone somewhere, all I remember saying, and the worst thing was “I woke up knackered this morning and though oh eff this when my alarm went off” and I didn’t know he was in the room but we all think that from time to time.

Im super upset. Aibu?

How do you think others felt when they were left out? Did you challenge the system then?

I think they're just giving it to other people too, and it's nothing you've done.

You don't want to come across as one of those school swots that always gets the best part in the school play.

If you keep winning it every year, it just looks bad on them, like the director has a favourite. Then other people won't work hard, knowing you'll always get the award.

Let others shine!

🙄 and 😂

Just let it go!

You didn't get one this year, others did.
Be happy for them.

In all honesty, I’d say you’ve reached the point where all your efforts and hard work have become standard for you, so you could be performing 180% better than someone who got an award this year, but that person showed improvement which is the reason for the award.

This happens often I’m afraid. If you are genuinely consistently going above and beyond and have not been approached for progression, then you need to seriously look at other opportunities elsewhere - it needs to be now as you will let this rot in you, it will make you feel increasingly down on yourself which means you won’t be as confident as going for other things.

Look to get out now.

Good question!

yeah but you don't seem to have been bothered when other people have been left out previously
only when it affects you

I agree with the poster who said it's a crap system, either thank everyone for their work or just the one or two who have really gone above and beyond to achieve something specific that month/year/quarter. Recognising 50-90% of your workforce is a) pointless and b) bound to lead to issues like this

Just ask your manager, say you're worried director isn't happy with your performance and see what they say. Maybe he still has yours as uou weren't there at the right moment?

As an adult this shouldn't bother you this much, it's an extremely childish reaction.

What is it with the pathetic Managers and Directors of today? Where do they get off? Why has this even become a thing? Exalting favourite members of staff to then gaslighting others. It enrages me to know people have to endure this daily shit when we are all doing the best we can. It's going on everyday at my job.
It's a tool they use to say that you are not worthy, or you're invisible to us. Our pathetic OM is being bullied and victimised by her Senior and she's constantly posting reviews because she's being told to. I have zero respect for either of them.

I feel that your boss is a manipulative piece of crap. You can't put staff into two distinct groups like that without making half feel smug/relieved and the other half feeling frightened/distraught.

They know exactly what they're doing by making it obvious to everyone which members are safe for the next year.

Next time you get your shitty piece of "thank you" that cost nothing and isn't even edible, put it in recycle. The only bit of paper you need from them is your payslip.

For the sake of your own self respect you need to take this on the chin OP. Look deep to find out why other people’s opinions bother you so much, particularly those of your boss. It will help to try to be less sensitive in your working environment.

I agree. This is rubbish. Also, at Easter everyone should get chocolate not a rubbish card. It's cheap and divisive. Just thank everyone ffs.

I’d be asking my manager if I’ve done something - but try not to over think it, I can understand why you’re upset