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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to step back from this?

2 replies

justhereforthecraic · 21/03/2024 14:45

Hello,

Apologies if this is a long winded one.

I became friends with Friend A about 8years ago through a mutual hobby group. We are still close . Throughout this friendship, she introduced me to some of her friends. There was one in particular, Friend B, that I gelled with and we became close ( Friend A was really happy with this as it meant we could hang out together). However there was another one, Friend C, who I didn't particularly gel with ( no hate to them, I just don't feel we are compatible and I think she feels the same )

As we share Friend A, we are often together for some social events and we chat and are respectful to each other. There is also a Whatsapp group set up by Friend A where we chat and discuss plans to meet. Friend A often tries to make me and Friend C hang out as a twosome but we just don't bother or we will suggest to pop a date in the calendar for a walk/coffee/lunch and it never happens.

Friend C is having a party this year for a significant birthday ( which I have heard through the grapevine from Friend A and B ) and It sounded like I didn't get an invite. No problem there as we are not close. I wasn't expecting one. However, I have just been sent the details of the event and unfortunately I cant go due to work commitments. I wished her well but got a very short reply. Then i noticed that the invites had been sent out a few months ago ( which I kind of already knew).

Would I be unreasonable to use this as a get out of jail card and pull back from friend C? Id still like to keep my friendship with A and B as we get on really well. When its just the 3 of us, we have so much fun together and we speak regularly. Id like to organize a little dinner together soon but I feel they may want to bring Friend C along. Should I just be honest? I'm guessing if they are good friends , they will understand and they can still continue a friendship with Friend C on their own terms.

OP posts:
ILikeItWhatIsIt · 21/03/2024 16:30

You don't currently see C one on one so what are you pulling back from?
When you get together as a group, is it always the four of you? If it is, I'd continue like that. Why cause drama for no reason.
You say you're not bothered about whether you got an invite to C's party or not, but it seems like you are, otherwise you wouldn't be trying to drop them now?

justhereforthecraic · 21/03/2024 16:44

ILikeItWhatIsIt · 21/03/2024 16:30

You don't currently see C one on one so what are you pulling back from?
When you get together as a group, is it always the four of you? If it is, I'd continue like that. Why cause drama for no reason.
You say you're not bothered about whether you got an invite to C's party or not, but it seems like you are, otherwise you wouldn't be trying to drop them now?

Thanks @ILikeItWhatIsIt i honestly don't think I am bothered as this is something that's been on my mind for awhile . I suppose, if i don't want to hang out as a foursome, i can just keep saying no, and if I want to have meet with 2 of my friends then i should just do it.

I can still keep things drama free then

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