Friend is needy and cries every time she drinks.

[seeitthroughmyeyes]

I have a friend whom I met around two years ago. She's a lot older than me, 15 years age gap.
We love going out and enjoying ourselves. But when she drinks, she gets incredibly emotional and hugs me obsessively, or chews your ear off over something so minuscule and makes it into a 30 minute discussion. For example, i told her i wanted to change the colour of my hair. She then went on telling me I don't need to change my hair, I'm beautiful the way I am, I need to love myself for who I am and it just becomes eye rollingly painful to sit and listen to her.

This happens every single time we go out and I've accepted, she clearly cannot handle her drink. I've avoided her for a few weeks and she keeps asking if I'm ok, I'm not quite sure how to tell her, she's too much when she drinks and I can't continue on, even my other friends find her overwhelming....

She sounds like she has issues she needs to deal with - you need to decide whether you have the will and capacity to challenge and support her. Without judgement, as I’ve been there, if not just distance yourself.

She also was asking really inappropriate questions to our gay friends about their sex life one night, she's never met them prior to this! I told her that it was out of order and not everyone is as open. She got into a strop that night and cried about it (drunk again). Another thing that tipped me over the edge...

Doesn't sound like you like her very much. Maybe she has low self esteem hence what she is saying when drunk. She probably needs to watch her drink tho you're right.

I'd be wondering if this is why she isn't out with friends her own age?

Tell her you're doing dry April and does she want to meet for coffee instead?

Some say you're allowed to have friends of any age once you're a adult 😉- i know I do.

OP I would keep the friendship to coffee dates, lunches, and activities that don't involve alcohol.

Yes, but to me it sounds as though her own age group have given up - feels a bit like that is why OP put the age gap in the post...she is acting far younger.

She sounds fucking irritating. I wouldn't be having any more nights out with her

She sounds absolutely insufferable. I could not be bothered with this nonsense.

Ah well, she clearly has a lot of issues, and no boundaries when drunk. She won't change on your say so. If you still want to hang out, stay away from alcohol.

She sound like she’s on gear, is she going to the loo a lot once she had a drink or two?

I think it's best if you only meet her during the day, for coffee, walks, cinema etc, anything where she's unlikely to be or get drunk.
If she shows up drunk to an 11am date then I think she's definitely got more than a problem.
Some people act annoying as hell when drinking but are lovely sober. You could say your 'cutting down the booze, people get so emotional and Annoying on pissed nights out, haha. So I decided to calm it down a bit'. If again she takes this badly then I'd say just keep your distance on a more permanent basis.

Definitely meet her in the mornings for a coffee and cake and perhaps a walk

I have a friend like this, not in the same way but is deeply irritating when drunk.

I've told him straight that I don't like them when they're drunk and I'm happy to see him when sober. To be fair he's taken it well and we go out for lunch or a walk instead

Thanks everyone - we do occasionally meet in the day and she's such a different person sober. I think she does have a few issues she needs to address and this is why she isn't friends with people her own age...

I've got a friend who's a bit like this - gets very intense after a few drinks, stares intently, tries to analyse you, cries, wants to read out poetry she's written. It can feel a bit full-on and uncomfortable. She's a good friend though & I found a way to acknowledge/make a joke of it.

You don’t need to put up with it. Just be straight and say you find it too much when she has had a drink and would rather meet for coffee. You will be doing her a favour. A bit of straight talking might be what she needs.

Omg op you could be me! I told a group I cba to drink with this week because there's 3 annoying drunks in it that I won't be drinking with them this week as I'm so motivated by the London marathon I'm on a fitness drive😂I said sorry for being boring and one of them will join me for a run in the morning instead. Use this!