AIBU for going no contact with my brother?

[LadyMaine]

I come from a very dysfunctional family. Crimes commited by family members include, assault, gbh, arson, prostituion, rape, incest and murder.

I kept my head down, worked hard at school went to uni and got a good job, yet I have always been regarded as the 'black sheep'. (For example I was heavily criticised for not attending the birthday party of the murderer soon after he was released from prison.)

I went 'no contact' with the rest of my family eight years ago and although I felt lonely at times my life improved immeasurably without all the 'drama'.

I stayed in touch with one brother (he has constant money problems bankruptcy and a divorce that's been going on for over a decade).

However I am thinking of cutting him off also for two reasons. Firstly whenever I see him he 'greets' me by putting me in a headlock or the Spock death grip. He says it's just affectionate 'horseplay' despite the fact that I have told him repeatedly that I find this triggering (my father was extremely violent). He apologises but then 'forgets' the next time I see him. Secondly when we talk on the phone it's always all about him. Last time he called me I had COVID, he asked how I was but after less than a minute interrupted to tell me all about his problems for the rest of the call.

He regularly seems me messages telling me he misses me, especially after one of our other siblings passed away a few years ago. Part of me wants to stay in touch with at least one my family member but I don't think it's worth the stress. AIBU?

He assaults you. And then pretends it is a joke and he forgot you don't like being hurt and manhandled.

He's as bad as the rest of your family. Just as selfish, just as dysfunctional. Cut him off.

cut him off. He doesn’t respect you, your bodily integrity or your boundaries.

Hadn't thought of it as assault, but you're right!

I come from a very dysfunctional family. Crimes commited by family members include, assault, gbh, arson, prostituion, rape, incest and murder.

Honestly, I didn't even need to read the rest of your post before I could tell that YANBU.

I appreciate that your brother is (I assume) not one of the family members who has been guilty of these things but I think if I were in your situation I would find it very hard to be in touch with anyone at all from my family, simply because it would bring back horrible memories every time. Added to that this awful business of putting you in a headlock 'as a joke' even though you've told him you hate it, this is more than a good enough reason to cut your brother off.

He may well be perfectly well-meaning for all I know (although the headlock thing makes me feel that's unlikely) but there comes a point where you have to put your own mental health first.

I'm really sorry you've had to live with the things you have, and you've done incredibly well to distance yourself from it.

It's up to you but I think you should. I also would be concerned he would pass on information about you to the rest of the family.

I don't speak to my brother after repeated threats to assault me. Yadbu to cut out someone who puts you in a headlock

He does and they call/ write occasionally but I've blocked them on everything