Adult sister refusing to pay bills at parents house aibu?

[itsraining2024]

She's 30 and a teacher. Lives there with unemployed husband who has just moved in. With cost of living bills are high. Asked her to pay water gas and electric this month 500 quid. Next month would only be electric. She says she'd pay then in return asks my dad for his bank statements from me (I'm dads carer and manage all his finances bills appointments etc for more than 10 years). She hasn't paid and claims dad said it's okay to pay later (he didn't) but suddenly dad said can u send me bank statements. I said okay that's fine so long as she sends me her bank statements. She ended up crying and we all kicked off.

She pays for her own food. Decor she sits fit in the house. She decided to replace the carpets and do the bathroom up (all wasn't needed). It's like she has to have control. But doesn't want to contribute for things she sure such as gas electric and water. Adult parents are pension age.

Regardless, £500 to live as a couple in someone’s home is VERY cheap.

Sorry 500 pounds was half the payment
It was something like
225 (full years water bill is 450)
Gas was 250 ( 500 for 3 months)
Electric was 80 ish for the month so 40 for her
So it was like £515 quid ish.

She wouldn't be paying this next month. But she said don't think I'm paying every month because I haven't got much money left (she told me she had only 20 grand a week ago). I said to her next month would be just electric as that's monthly and she wouldn't have to pay that but could she chip in for the gas. Still no payment yet wanted to see bank statements. Even though I sent the actual bills to her. Got a feeling she wants them to use the 3 grand savings they have for repairs to the house which in her eyes are unnecessary. I've got my own cash and wouldn't dream of stealing money from my parents.

@moonfacer yeah he does but she's unwilling to go to a rental...buying us out of the question as she has savings her husband is unemployed with zero savings.

@dotjones she was suggesting I steal? She can have the accounts if she wants. I only asked because she claims she's in financial trouble...and found it cheeky that she's being asked to pay a bill and she resorts to show me the statements. I've sent full copies of the bill to her. Her answer are mum and dad struggling so much that I need to chip in? Has been living rent free at their house for the past 7 years.

1. The sister's unemployed husband (so presumably around a bit) husband is there too

@Precipice sorry I've just given an estimate not the actual figure on here. Like I've said Before bills were sent to her and she worked out half.

@judgej yeah no rent. Husband spends an hour in the bath or even longer. Twice a day. God knows what he gets up to. Stomach trouble apparently.

@JudgeJ message above was for you

@toomuchfaff it's not that every month as water is billed once a year, has every 3 months electric one a month

@IncompleteSenten she thinks they should use their savings and she shouldn't pay. Apparently they don't need their savings. Dad has been saying why do we need savings anyway. Use them all up. But my mum has said to keep them for repairs etc

@finished31 that's exactly how I feel. That 500 quid is a round figure just used on here. She's got the bills. Water is Billed yearly, gas every 3 months and electric one a month.

She gets charged no rent and never has. This was the first month she was asked to pay.

If your parents have full capacity and are capable of handling their own finances, then even if you help out day to day with financial stuff, it really isn’t any of your business.
That said, your sister and her DH sounds like freeloading chancers tbh and like you, I wouldn’t be at all happy.
it’s your parents decision though, ultimately

She also refers to mum so there is no 25% discount

The other thread is much more detailed and your sister is being a CF. She earns £40k a year and basically is sponging off parents on pension credit and pip as is her unemployed husband.

However in the absence of your parents asking her to leave then I am unsure what you can actually force them to do.

@Spirallingdownwards thanks I'm just thinking is there a need for her to see bank statements? I'm just worried she'll see savings and say use them. That's her intention. It shouldn't matter how much savings my parents have. It's their money. They've asked for the payment. She hasn't given it. Plus she's cheeky lying about her own savings she bought a car for 37k last year and it got stolen in jan. Insurance paid out 31 grand and she's chipping in 4 grand to get the same one again. All whilst my poor parents are budgeting and saving. They share their food with her too. My mum was getting irritated saying I cook for everyone but when she cooks it's only for her and her husband. Her and her husband are going away in June and she's paying 10 grand each. His share too.

if she’s been there 7 years this isn’t new, why are your parents wanting a contribution now. Ultimately it’s up to them to ask, not you. It does sound frustrating.

Sod that, she is abusing their good nature. This need to stop before she literally takes over the house.

Good luck x

oh, have just read a few op's replies and I got this feeling.

@itsraining2024 doesnt say why sis dh is unemployed.
what op's accommodation looks like? owning?
what job op does.

if parents FEEL sis needs help, it should really not be cause for jealousy.

Dsis crying over it all in OP got me. Why is it some people insist on using the waterworks for the sympathy vote? That really winds me up.
Sorry, for derail OP,

So rather bitching and moaning that she isn’t paying her way, what do you want from this thread OP? as correct me if I’m wrong this is the second thread you’ve made about this issue , so what’s changed between the first and the second thread?

What outcome do you/your parents want, she isn’t going to pay, so what are your next steps?

I suggest your parents change the locks while she is away if they don't want her there and you pack their stuff up ready for collection.