What age did things start to feel easier with your baby/toddler? I’m so sad

Jurnni · 2024-03-20T14:17:35+00:00

Just feel fed up. I am on a wheel of ‘trying to cope,’ rather than actually being able to think or do things that bring real enjoyment to life. Every aspect of life feels restrictive, finances, time, sleep, where we go etc etc. I am ok but just… feels like a wheel I can’t get off for a moment.

lochmaree · 20/03/2024 14:34

❤️ sending hugs. increasingly easier from 1 I'd say, but not linear. and also child and situation dependent. I felt a lot better when I went back to work. I have a 4yo and an almost 2yo and finding things quite hard atm but its improving as the weather improves and they play outdoors more. finding it helps to go to places they can just run free with relatively little intervention and then I listen to music or podcast or audio books. (fenced parks, national trust, sandpits, etc)

iLovee · 20/03/2024 14:41

Oh lovely, it can be so tough I'm sorry 🩵 sending you the night hug - and know you are not alone!!

For me, things got easier when my toddler turned 18 months- he was walking by then and better at communicating. Then i gave birth to number 2 🤣

I have good days and bad but I'm hoping with summer and better weather we will be able to get outside more for free!

Always here if you want a natter xx

Ariona · 20/03/2024 14:42

I would say when they are able to play independently. It's the constant need to follow them around and be with them trying to entertain them that sucked the soul out of me. I found age 4/5 the turning point. I have a 14 mo but we hired a nanny for a few hours a day to give me some relief.

Ellovera2 · 20/03/2024 14:56

I'm right there with you. I have a 2yo and a 1yo. I work 4 days a week and look forward to it. I dread my solo days with them eventhough they are delightful most of the time. It's the meals, constant snacks, toys everywhere, in the car, out the car, nappy changes, naps, change bag, drinks, loading up the buggy, cleaning the highchair, changing clothes all the time, coats on off, where are all the bloody shoes.
2yo has normal toddler meltdowns which is fine but I'm finding them harder to cope with because of everything else.
It feels awful to say but when I have a day with just my 2yo I find it so easy. My 1yo is going through a clingy stage and I just feel so overwhelmed sometimes. He pulled my hair last night and I can't explain the feeling that went through me. Obviously when the baby is clingy the 2yo starts kicking off and around we go.
Trying to savour it and enjoy it and am really am so so proud of them and obviously love them to bits but it's been a hard couple of years.

Ellovera2 · 20/03/2024 14:56

@iLovee I read your post as 'when my toddler turned 18' 🤣😁

NotSmallButFunSize · 20/03/2024 15:06

It feels never ending but it does end! And ignore all the 'just wait until.... Blah blah" people - mine are all between 7 and 14 and it's honestly a piece of piss these days! Hope for the future!

iLovee · 20/03/2024 15:09

@Ellovera2 🤣🤣🤣 I love that!

My 216 month old 🤣🤣

Tisfortired · 20/03/2024 15:10

My 14 month old is just getting easier now. He can walk and has a few words. The weather is improving so we can get out more and it makes a huge difference. He can follow me around whilst I do things around the house and it’s great fun for him 😂 he also has one long nap a day from 11-1 so I try to not ‘do’ too much in naptime as this is all the time I get to myself all day. I have something to eat and a brew and relax so I’m ready to go again when he wakes up!

I also have a 10 year old and he is a piece of piss really - I don’t know if he was just an easy child but he’s been a joy to parent since he was tiny really.

veryangrymot · 20/03/2024 15:11

Becomes easier by 2y- that's why there are so many siblings with the 3y difference between them 🤣

EasterBunnny · 20/03/2024 15:14

It got gradually easier and then when my youngest turned three and a half life got much better.

SantaBarbaraMonica · 20/03/2024 15:14

5! But you do have to make an effort to install independence and training if you want an easier life.

PrincessTeaSet · 20/03/2024 15:16

From 2 ish or 2.5. By 4 they are easy.(mostly).

teabooks · 20/03/2024 15:37

It got easier for me when they both moved out.

When they were small it got easier when they both went to school it was better than the toddler years as i had the day to get things done.
Time flys by.

ruffles23 · 20/03/2024 15:40

I feel the same op. My dd is just 2 and things are very hard still. She doesn't sleep reliably and I feel like all of our free time is governed by what suits her meaning that the older dc get fed up too. Simple tasks like putting her in the buggy to go for a walk or go shopping are hard work because she is just a full on child who doesn't like to sit still! I'd love to go on an abroad holiday this year but I don't know how on earth we'd manage. I feel the stress wouldn't be worth it.

Truthfully I would say that it gets easier when they are in school. But it does depend on the type of child, not all toddlers are crazy (just most).

Sunnnybunny72 · 20/03/2024 15:44

Three years old.
Mine went to nursery from a few months old each time and I went back to work.
21 and 18 now and never a single regret.

Pickles2023 · 20/03/2024 15:45

Joining thread for hope 😂 i find its the sleep deprivation. My LO has never slept so far...i feel if i could just have a few hours i would at least function then be a better parent. My brain is mush and i just go blank, i have no energy left to even get up the stairs without my legs buckling 😭😭

BallaiLuimni · 20/03/2024 15:46

Mine are 11 and 13 now but I looked at a photo the other day of them in the garden when they were 1 and 3 and even though it was a lovely picture I shuddered because I remembered that day and how long and awful it was. Small ones are totally relentless and frustrating and you will feel like you're on a hamster wheel for a while - all you can do is put your head down and keep going as best you can without expecting too much of yourself and suddenly one day you'll go out and actually have a good time with them. It's hard to say when that'll be - I think with my two they were about 5 and 3, which may seem like a long way away but it'll come around faster than you think. Now that they're huge it's so much easier - they're fun, interesting, helpful - moody and annoying at times - but mostly great.

Is there any way you can engineer a solid break some time soon? Even an afternoon where you have time alone in the house to chill?

BallaiLuimni · 20/03/2024 15:48

And, I will add the very annoying caveat that no matter how hard you find it you will look back on this time later and feel nostalgic and even miss it a bit. It's totally nuts, but that's how the stupid human brain works.

sarahc336 · 20/03/2024 16:00

Easier at 1, felt like I could cope at 2 and they're fun to be round at by 3. Then by 4 they start to be more interested in their friends 😂

NoKnit · 20/03/2024 16:13

It does get easier in some ways. Yes you do get to the point where you don't have to constantly follow them around or supervise. You can drink a coffee in peace. Well define peace.

But they get older and you do realise you are shaping these little people into adults. Then it gets mentally exhausting and you worry because you can't fix every problem for them. Then others things like school, friendships, homework etc etc

Mine are 8 and almost 11 now. Yes it's less full on than when they were baby and toddler age. But it is still exhausting.

I look at the mothers with prams chasing a bolting toddler and smile Yes it's a lot of work but it was a very special time and trouble free in many respects

Ahwig · 20/03/2024 16:56

My son cried constantly, if he was awake he was crying. It was hell. At 5 months someone lent us an old school baby walker. The change was amazing. He bloody loved it. They are often frowned upon now but it saved my sanity. People told me it would delay him walking. I stopped putting him in it at 8 months, he was then able to coast around the furniture and walked properly unassisted at 9 months. Of course his sleeping was rubbish for another 2 years but that's another story

PeatandDieselfan · 20/03/2024 17:05

*It does get easier in some ways. Yes you do get to the point where you don't have to constantly follow them around or supervise. You can drink a coffee in peace. Well define peace.

But they get older and you do realise you are shaping these little people into adults. Then it gets mentally exhausting and you worry because you can't fix every problem for them. Then others things like school, friendships, homework etc etc*

This. I have 4, aged between 12 and 5. It doesn't get easier, it just gets different.
For example, days out with all 4 are great now compared to 2 or 3 years ago - no nappies, no buggies, everyone eats everything, knows how to avoid traffic doesn't run off for no reason.

But on the other hand, the endless negotiations about stuff like homework and friendship dynamics make me miss the relatively understandable tantrums of the toddler years. The cliché is true - little children, little problems, big children, big problems (or, little children suck your milk, big children suck your blood). Although that's not totally true, they are honestly more fun to talk with now.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 20/03/2024 17:07

Mine are now 11, 9 and 7 and it has become exponentially easier in the last 12 months or so 💐

IsthisthereallifeIsthisjustfantasy · 20/03/2024 17:46

I found walking easier than crawling because you can go to the park and you're not so worried about them eating dirt the whole time.

2 has been a turning point for us because having more language means DC can tell us more about what he wants and how he is feeling.

Others would say those are both really hard stages, though. I think all kids are different.