Is this glass lighting or am I at fault

[Wonkybird]

Firstly I'm usually a fairly confident person and don't have any history of major fallouts at work with ether colleges or managers. I am probably not the best at my job but I do my best and my reviews have been prety positive.

My manager has pulled me to the side to say that a new member of staff has made a complaint about me and that they are unhappy with me. I have been training them and explaining how the workplace works! Its not a standard office based job because we are in the criminal justice sector so there are weird and wonderful rules and policies that unless you have worked in the industry you wouldn't be expected to understand. There are things we have no control over such as access to areas of the building at certain times and we can and if we are told to leave areas with no notice and we have to up and leave there and then. No discussion and no arguments. We cannot argue our point if we are told to do something it must be done ether for safety or regime issues.

One of the new people has complained about being told to leave an area immediately. They are taking great offence and are holding me responsible for this. I have no control about this and my manager has made an official complaint about it.

My manager has no experience of the sector and no experience as a manager. They are not based onsite and do not have free access to us most of our meeting is over teams.They love drama and pulling me into meetings about this telling me that I am a good person but I need to be better, I am great at communicating but my communication is not appropriate, I am such a people person, my people skills need to be improved. Is this gaslighting or is it a deep fill shit sandwich?

I'm aware that the complaint is a result of the new people not having the job explained properly and not understanding the restrictions and rules. They are not at all happy in the job and looking to blame someone else. My manager is taking no responsibility for any of this and using me as a scapegoat, and I'm dealing with that separately. Are they gaslighting me? They are so positive about me, bigging me up then absolutely knocking me down making me really doubt myself. My confidence has taken a real knock bug should I take it as bullying, gaslighting or do I really need to look at my communication skills?

So hard for us to comment unless we actually know what it is you're saying or doing to be pulled on.

You can be a good person but need to be better at your job (you say yourself you're not the best at it).

You can be a great communicator but your communication not being appropriate (saying the wrong thing, being over the top, missing key info) but in other ways might be amazing at getting your point across.

You might be an amazing people person in a social situation but need better people skills in a work setting.

Surely it's black and white that the rules are the rules about needing to leave immediately so I don't see how anyone is getting the blame for that, unless there's big grey areas.

One of the new people has complained about being told to leave an area immediately. They are taking great offence and are holding me responsible for this. I have no control about this and my manager has made an official complaint about it.

Focus on this. Not on labels. Who has your manager complained to? Are you in a union? Do you have SOPs(?) written down for new starters?

Do you work in a prison OP? If so, there should be some sort of procedure guide that covers this kind of thing that the new starter could be pointed to.

I'd request a meeting with your manager and explain that their feedback is confusing and you'd like some guidance in what they're expecting from you.
It's absolutely not fair to tell you you're great but need to be better. Feedback should be constructive.

I don’t think it’s gaslighting. Gaslighting would be if someone had a different version of events to you.

this just sounds like lack of management, lack of their experience.

I think instead of thinking about blame, your manager needs to have a meeting with you and then a further meeting with the complainant. If you’re following the guidelines (if there are guidelines). As a pp said there should be SOPs. Is there anyone above your manager you can discuss with?

What's an SOP? We have no new staff documents at all and there are no managers to create any.

Yes kind of but we don't work directly for them we are part of an external agency that are onsite.

Exactly this it's so confusing not actually being being given straight up feedback. If I'm wrong tell me that or if I'm doing well tell me that. I thought i was pretty good at my job until recently where managment knocked me down.

Gaslighting is telling you something IS true or has happened when it hasn't, to make you doubt yourself and/or your sanity.

Is that what you feel is happening here, OP ?

An SOP is a Standard Operating Procedure which lays out guidance in how set things in your workplace are carried out

@Wonkybird are you the poster from last week that has the 3 new team members that aren't doing any work and you aren't meeting your targets? It sounds like the same kind of (odd) management set up.

If so, I don't think you can win with your manager or company as it doesn't seem well run.

Are you in education or healthcare at a prison then? Or workshops? Ultimately if your business don't have procedures for this, the prison will. I'd suggest you speak to the duty officer to get some advice. This person has been badly briefed and not given a proper induction which is very dangerous..

Are you or they a key holder?

If they take great offence at being told to leave immediately how on earth will they deal with prisoners when they kick off?! I know not all prisoners do but it comes as part of the job.

I worry about this too