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Impossible - baby naps with a toddler around

2 replies

blueberry23 · 20/03/2024 11:54

Posting here for traffic because I am at my wits end.

I have a just turned 3 year old and a 9m old.

The hardest thing I've found with two, is being able to get the baby to sleep with a toddler around.

Some days my baby naps for 3 hours in the morning then not at all all day other days two one hour naps other days just tiny 20 min cat naps. There is no pattern, but I always 'try' to get him to have a good long sleep around 10am after a 6.30 wake up, and again about 3.30ish for 30 mins.

We've tried staying home for naps, going out as normal and letting him nap on the go, prioritising baby naps, prioritising toddler activities, I can't believe I'm 9 months in and haven't got this figured out yet.

My issue is the baby doesn't nap consistently - some days he's yawning an hour after he wakes, today he's been awake for 6 hours and I've tried 3 times to put him down and he's having none of it.

To get him to sleep I have to feed him in a quiet dark room for approx 20 mins which is IMPOSSIBLE with a toddler downstairs yelling mummy constantly. I just want to cry to be honest.

Sometimes I just give up on the nap but then we've wasted a morning staying home, with me upstairs for most of it trying to get the baby to nap, and he doesn't, and then he's grumpy all afternoon.

I just can't seem to grasp what it is I'm supposed to do, why other peoples babies nap at certain reliable times and neither of mine have ever done that, why it's so hard, but it's putting me in a bad mood every day and I just don't know what to do!

The days the baby goes to sleep quickly and easily for a couple of hours I get some lovely time with my toddler and can tidy up a bit.

Baby has just gone to sleep now at midday and that's our afternoon plans ruined after staying home all morning.

I want to scream. How do other mums of two handle this? I've never had a baby I can just plonk in a cot and leave the room and I can't even imagine how much easier that would be but sleep training is not for me.

OP posts:
SootspriteSearcher · 20/03/2024 12:00

With mine we just went with the flow. Carried on normal plans and activities, if dd2 was tired enough she would nap in the buggy/sofa/in my arms. I had 3.5 years between mine, we had to go out every day for all of our sanity! Dd1 needed to run about, and we all needed the fresh air! Dd1 also napped a few times a week right up until she started school but rarely the same time as dd2!!

blueberry23 · 20/03/2024 12:29

Thanks @SootspriteSearcher I just find the baby sooo miserable if we go out and he hasn't napped. Refuses to be in his buggy when he is exhausted!

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