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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To change my baby's name?

6 replies

Gmary22 · 20/03/2024 09:05

My baby is now 4 months and called Margaux, however when I was pregnant I wanted to call her Marguerite (she is half French). Anyway, my husband didn't like Marguerite, he said it was an old lady's name but I thought and still think its beautiful.

Just after I gave birth, literally after the baby was just dragged out of my with forceps (I had a 5 day labor) my husband said "you can call her Marguerite". I said lets still think about it and then two days later in a postpartum sleep induced delirium I said, I think she's a Margaux and we decided to call her Margaux. We told all of our family and friends. I was also feeling a lot of pressure from my Mum to call her Margaux as she loved the name so much....

Anyway, my husband is very orgnanised and booked the appointment straight away for the next week! And, but the time the appointment came around I completely regretted my decision and was desperate to call her Marguerite. We had several HUGE arguments about it and I refused to go to the first appointment as I needed more time to think.

He booked an appointment for a couple of weeks time and in that time he did not budge on her name, he said we had gone too far down the route and everyone now knew her as Margaux so we couldn't change. My reasoning was, she's still only 3 weeks old, people change baby names all the time, its more important to have a name that's perfect for her for her whole life than to care what other people think about us changing it, and that Margaux is a diminutive name for Marguerite anyway so in effect she would still be called Margaux every day but everyone, nothing would change, she would just have the option to use Marguerite when she was older and I could call her Marguerite as I love the name.

Fast forward to now, and although I like the name Margaux, I still wish I had said OK lets call her Marguerite when eh offered and its eating me up inside. It literally keeps me awake at night and I secretly call her Marguerite, she's such a pretty little girl and is growing into that name (to me anyway!). My friend mentioned yesterday that she's thinking of changing her 6 month old baby's name as she's not sure it suits her and apparently you can change a baby's name easily on their birth certificate up until a year old.

Anyway, I want to know if you think I'm being unreasonable, is this a silly hill to die on with my husband or should I really pursue changing her name. It would be a logistical pain as she has also been registered in France now as Margaux and she also has a passport....

OP posts:
Row23 · 20/03/2024 09:37

You’re not being unreasonable, but if she’s mainly going to be called Margaux by everyone anyway and it’s already on her passport etc, then I probably wouldn’t change it. You can call her Marguerite of course. I think as the names are so similar it does seem like alot of faff to go through changing everything. If you wanted to call her something like Sophie, completely different to Margaux, then it might be more worth changing everything. But as kids get older some choose to go by a different name anyway - back when I was at school there were 3 kids in my class who went by their middle name instead of their first names. And even as an adult I’ve worked with a few people who used a different name than their parents gave them.

Beaconsblue · 20/03/2024 09:45

I think you should change it. No need to make a huge deal, especially if she is going to continue being called Margaux by most people. Just casually mention to family when you see them, you’ve changed her full name to Marguerite now but they can continue calling her Margaux as it’s the diminutive.

serin · 20/03/2024 09:49

Just change it, otherwise it will eat you up forever.

ImpunityJane · 20/03/2024 10:02

I think you should change it. It's not too late at all and very similar. Anyone who is used to Margaux can keep using that. I had name regret and, although years later I don't think about it too much, when I do think about it, I still wish it had been changed. There was a lot of pressure around it and it's something that made me feel very unheard and unhappy for a long time.

ComtesseDeSpair · 20/03/2024 10:06

I think people would quickly get used to it if you changed it. They’re very similar and Margo / Margaux is a nickname for Margaret / Marguerite anyway (which does also mean that she may end up being known as or choosing to be known as Margaux anyway.)
Do you live in the U.K.? I think Margaux is easier to pronounce in non-Francophone countries: I work with a Marguerite and she gets everything from Marr-gore-eat to Marger- right. That would put me off a bit.

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 20/03/2024 10:06

I think you should go for Marguerite as it gives her more options. I have a Margo and she gets called Margo, Marge, Margie, Madge, Marguerite, Marjorie-Daw and a host else besides :P

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