Charging food and lodging to DD

[Kittyloulou]

My DD will finish uni this year and already has a job lined up for September where she will earn £30K p/a. She will have her student loan to pay back and is saving for a deposit on a house which she and her boyfriend will buy together.
Having her back in the house after 3 years away will come as a financial shock since everything has gone up, food, gas, electric, including our mortgage.
AIBU to charge her board? What would you all think is a fair amount?

What does a "financial shock" look like to you? Do you need the money is the most important question, along with will she actually save?

I'd say in the region of 250-400 quid a month, depending how much I needed the money and how quickly she'd be saving.

If she was pissing it up the wall and just putting minimal into savings I'd charge more. If she was being sensible, I'd charge less.

To add, my parents charged me 200 a month 17 years ago and I was earning approx 21k out of uni.

On 30k living at home she can probably pay you £500 pcm towards food and bills and still save at least £1k pcm. This is probably fine? Presumably she'll need 50% of the deposit if she's buying jointly with her bf?

All depends on your bills as well and on how much they need for a deposit, charging less may result in them saving more and buying sooner.

My dd earns a similar amount and pays me £300 a month.

You could charge her what it costs you extra in having her there, such as a third of utilities and food. I don't think asking her to help pay the mortgage is fair but asking for some rent is (I know its essentially the same thing in some ways, not in others). But it also depends a lot on circumstances - are you struggling financially, is your aim for this to be a short term thing while she saves, would you downsize or rent her room out if she wasn't moving in? £30k is a large salary not to contribute anything but there's a big difference in her moving in for a few months versus a couple of years.

Our DDs both pay £500 a month digs.

This OP.
Also, if you don't 'need' it, you can save it for her, if not sensible?
I'm not sure where you live and how much property costs, but you can't guarantee that she and her BF will buy together. People change after uni, and a lot more in their twenties.
Can she afford a property on her own? What's the timeline towards her moving out?

DS is on 34k and pays £300 a month - it still allows him to save for a deposit - 30k so far and hoping to move out this year

Don't charge her anything on the condition she saves her money for a deposit. If you want her 'to learn what bills are like' put the money into a savings account for her. I don't agree with charging your child for staying with you and think it's fairly short sighted - the more you charge the longer she will stay with you (obviously assuming she is actually saving)

You shouldn't be out of pocket, so it would depend on what extra costs you will be incurring. If she is buying her own food and toiletries then you just need a contribution to cover gas, electric and water (assuming you are on a water meter), so maybe £100 a month.

If you are feeding and cooking for her, and she is using the family shower gel, shampoo etc., and her laundry is in with yours, then a contribution of around £100 a week would not be unreasonable on her salary.

If you think she won't save, then take more and put it away for her.

Why should they expect the parents to subsidize them?

Look at the number of posts on here with people complaining how difficult it is for young people to get on the property ladder. I don't understand why a parent would not help make that a bit easier (assuming that a small extra cost each month isn't going to bankrupt them). I could not imagine ever charging my DC to live at home (regardless of age)

My opinion on this is that on 30k living at home it is NOT difficult to get on the property ladder.

I managed to save a fortune living at home on 21k a year, paying 200 a month to parents. They didn't give it back to me either.

Well those young people don't have a subsidised home to live in!
Even a house share costs £600 and there's still food etc. Young adults need to learn the value of money.
£400 a month is a bargain.

Also @DonaldDuc if the kids aren't saving then charging and putting the money away is forcing them to do so, for their own good. but then again, I know ,many YP who have the deposit. Just don't want to leave home, as it's too comfy.

£300 pcm to help pay towards electricity, gas, water and food. I think that's fair if she is saving for a deposit and paying back her student loan.

She is actually a little squirreller and very good with money and saving. The problem is that another mouth to feed nowadays can be quite expensive as we eat well in our house. We don’t live on cheap processed food. She also likes long hot showers and baths which also adds up.

She is very good at saving and has already saved £12K during her year in placement. She lived at home that year and we didn’t charge her a penny but now she will be earning a lot more and our bills have increased a lot. She’s hoping to buy after 12 months at home if still with her boyfriend.

She's going to have twice as much money as she ever lived on as a student - and no rent to pay. It won't hurt her to pay a third of your utility bills and a contribution towards food, or an expectation that she shops for and prepares a family meal a couple of times a week.

It depends......
How much will DD actually be at home? If she's basically living at home and out a couple of times a week, that's one equation. If she's at boyfriend's most of the time, that's another.
My DD is at mine Mon-Fri cos its's nearer her work. We did a bit of a sum and worked out that it costs maybe £5-£6 a day for her three meals (she takes a packed lunch from mine) so that's £25+ a week. She gives me £100 a month. Her father, my partner who's only at mine a couple of days a week (long dull story) said it was too much then realised what it cost to feed him while he was at mine and shut up. I should add both he and I are on pensions.