Thinking that how busy you are as a child impacts your activity level as an adult

[Imthedoctors]

This anecdotal but I'm wondering if anyone else thinks the same.

As a child I didn't do much in the way of hobbies, brownies was if really. At home I liked to colour and play with dolls and read.
As an adult I really value my down time, be it reading or watching tv I need time to just do "nothing". I need 9 hours sleep minimum. I'm now 32, I have a 3 year old and she goes to nursery and a swim class. We spend lots of time at home just playing, relaxing.

I have a friend I grew up with. As a child she was always busy, sports, instruments, she did camps in the holidays and activities most nights and weekend days. When we went to her house she never wanted to play with dolls she wanted to pretend our bikes were horses or play on the swings. She'd always be doing something as a teen, went to the library before and after school basically every day to study, went to sports training and competitions. Had a part time job before any of the rest of us.
As an adult she's much the same, she did an insane gap year which I wouldn't have had the energy (mental or physical) for. She worked part time at uni, and played sport, socialised loads. Never seemed to be doing nothing.
We were worried in lockdown that she wouldn't cope as she was always busy, but no she trained for a marathon, took up gardening and cooking , did online courses in the most random things. She never seems to have a PJ day. Never asleep before 11 and always up before 6 but never tired.
Now she's the same, her DD is younger than mine but goes to baby ballet, swimming and gymnastics. On the weekends they are always out somewhere, a museum or similar. They do holidays that are packed, never poolside.

My friends who didn't do much as kids seem more like me and those who did more are closer to my friend, though maybe not as extreme.

AIBU to think there is some correlation? Is there an ideal middle ground? Which are you and what was your childhood like?

Why does there have to be an "ideal middle ground"? She sounds fine.

You sound like you wish you did a bit more stuff.

Not really, i didn't do much as a kid but love doing loads of stuff now

I think your parents adjusted your schedules to suit your personalities rather than your personalities being determined by your activity level.

I think my parents just couldn't afford all her parents could.

As a child I swam nearly every evening of the week, I also played a musical instrument and ran competitively. As an adult I do a lot of walking but am definitely not a very social or 'busy' person. I prefer being curled up in front the tv in my dressing gown.

It could be genetic too. You like down time but your child may or not take after you.

My mum loves down time so does both my siblings, it didn't suit me though and I'm much busier now.

I think there is an ideal middle ground. I know children who are so overscheduled - every minute of every day filled with activity - cramming down Macdonald's in the car as they rush between rugby and tutoring and orchestra practice. It's as though they are not allowed to simply be, to exist in the world and enjoy their own thoughts.

I was in multiple orchestras, did guides and d of e and 6 hours of sport a week.

And now I spend most of my non working hours lying down and scrolling on my phone. I wish I was more active but I’ve been so damn tired for the last decade!

Ditto!

I am a sample study of one, so doesn't really show anything. But I did nothing as a child. I fill every moment of the day as an adult

It's probably genetics. I am a sloth by nature and my mum is a cheetah. I was dragged up mountains, made to do music, turfed out of the house to play, never allowed TV. My dad is a sloth.

I love Netflix and a snack. I do travel a lot but day to day, I like my sofa.

As a child I did nothing because my parents couldn’t/chose not to pay, plus my mother worked full time so couldn’t ferry me around.

as an adult I am very busy, with myriad activities and social engagements, because I can afford it.

Do you have siblings to compare with OP?

I have 2 adult sons, both raised to be quite active and occupied but not overly so, and are now poles apart in how they spend their time. So no I don't think your theory holds up.

And I'm quite 'busy' compared to my mother who has barely moved from her sofa for the last 30 years and didn't go out of her way much during my childhood either. I value downtime and sleep but I squeeze a lot in between.

Not for me, we didn't have much money when I was young so other than school stuff, extra curricular was pretty much off the table and not much in the way of big days out etc. Holidays were with my grandparents in their touring caravan for a week a year while my parents worked.
I'm now very active, full time, high pressure job in condensed hours, gym minimum 3 times a week, out most of the weekend doing things, museums, beach walks, swimming, farms, national trust etc. Spend time doing projects with DS, baking, all cooking is from scratch. We're outside a lot too which is different to my childhood. DC has lots of activities and sports too, so maybe he'll grow up and want to be sloth like!

I think some things can be learned in childhood. My parents were big on walking, so I always had the idea it was normal to do long walks. I don't remember hugely enjoying it; when I was a teen I really disliked it (my dad loved a good 15 mile walk), and I wouldn't make my child walk so far. But, I do get us out and walking, because it is so clear to me that this childhood experience has set me up to think walking is normal. And I think that is good.

I know people who never built up stamina for walking, and they're defeated by the idea of a 4 or 6 mile round trip. Where I live is quite rural, so it's necessary that DD and I can walk a few miles when the car is out of action.

In the same way, though I learned to cycle as a child, we never did it as a family (my mum can't), so I never had the same experience of becoming used to doing it. And these days, I wouldn't feel confident cycling far, which restricts me. I know people who have done it since childhood, and it's just such a hugely useful ability.

I do agree, too, that being busy is a habit. I think if you have been genuinely tired, you learn to relax and rest properly. If you've seldom or never been physically tired out, it is much harder to get good quality sleep, so you need more of it, and you can find yourself in a vicious cycle.

I didn't do much as a child. I did music at home as my mum was a music teacher, and then I joined the school choir at secondary. We didn't have any money for anything else. Vast quantities of my time was just at home.
As an adult I don't stop much. I'm always doing something, with music still a hugely important part of my life. We have a mixture of active holidays and lounging by the pool, it's important I do get some downtime to avoid burnout. I find it very difficult to be at home for long periods.

I agree that family culture is important (which activities are given value etc) and sets expectations around how time should be spent. I do also think some people have a lot of energy and have been the same way since childhood. I really envy those people!

I’m your friend - I’m not restful unless I’m asleep and even then I find it hard to get to sleep and stay asleep.

I did do loads of activities as a kid but that was driven by me, I’d even find stuff I wanted to do in Time Out or write places I’d seen on TV on a list in case I could go there! My mum is much more relaxed, very much not the pushy parent, but she rolled with it because she’d got an activities kid. We had very little money so I knew to choose free museums etc or cheaper clubs and my mum would sign me up for anything for lower income families.

I’ve actually been diagnosed with quite severe ADHD as an adult but I’m still like this now I’m medicated.

Ah this is so interesting.
Basically the total opposite of what I assumed.
I think my friend is quite unique in that she has literally never stopped for a breath in her whole life. I sometimes think it's easier for her as she's from a financially comfortable family, seems to be interested in lots of things and crucially is good at everything she touches.

I often wonder when she will burn out but it seems like not yet!

Money is a huge factor. I'm really conscious of this with my DD, as I don't have a lot of spare cash and I wish I could afford easy activities like buying her music lessons. And yes, sure, I can do activities with her instead - and I do - but the bottom line is that if you are wealthy and don't mind not seeing much of your children, you can fill their days with enriching activities. And you will likely earn more per hour by being in work than you spend on them being in an after-school/weekend club, so it's win-win.

My 12 yo does one activity out of school, it is a solo sport she does with a group. My 10 yo does as many activities as we will let him (as much as we can facilitate) 12 yo had always had lots of projects on the go at home, but solo projects, like crafts or baking. 10 is always on the go, wants us to join in, wants to do things like gardening or washing the car with us. It is exhausting and I love it when a friend comes over and takes the heat. I was always out and doing as a kid, but my parents didn't seem to be as involved in driving me places! At 10 they must have been though, although the activities were generally closer - you did what was nearby or went without..

No, I did hardly anything as a child as my parents couldn't afford it and didn't have the time. As an adult I have loads of hobbies, often have extra study on the go, and travelled when I could. With dcs I've never had a day at home even through lockdown, and I've always taken my dcs out to classes and activities daily since they were babies, and we spend every weekend out of the house. I can never relate to people who want to have weekends or holidays doing nothing.

We were middle class blue collar as a child but I did have some activities I enjoyed like art, reading, dance, playing an instrument in the band, being in the choir, swimming lessons, occasional horseback riding, basketball.

My mother seemed to like to take us to free things or low-cost things like concerts, museums, the zoo, ice skating, and garden shows.

We also had a caravan and camped a week or two each year, so I learned a lot about nature.

I'm quite a bit older now, and I have noticed the difference in people who don't do very much and those who still engage in quite a few activities. The people who spend most of their time glued to the TV, not doing anything, seem to become rather dull and not very bright.

It doesn't seem to matter that much until people get retirement age.

I was a very active child. Didn't really do after school/weekend activities consistently but always 'playing out' riding my bike, climbing trees, in the park etc.

I am a very lazy adult. If I do try to be more active I end up hurting myself but I think that might be down to hypermobility. Which would be helped by regular exercise 😅

My sister and I had the same level of access to activities as children, but as an adult, I think she's much more the type to be bored staying at home if she has the chance to be out of the house, whereas I usually prefer home-based hobbies and feel tired if I have to go, go, go.